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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just got kicked off a Facebook group....was I unreasonable?

226 replies

mrgrouper · 11/08/2016 11:27

I was on a teacher training group (the one where I posted an AIBU about the trainee who could not add a quarter and a half).
Most of the posts are, IMO, a bit vacuous. Fashion advice for trainees etc
Anyway one woman posted a photo of her new £34 planner last night with the caption "look at my £34 planner...cannot wait until September soooo excited!" and I posted "can people just stop bragging off". I was then dogpiled by a load of women who are soooo excited to start their training, so I blocked them and then got booted.
I think the main issue is I am not "soooo excited" about September. It looks like bloody hard work. I am looking forward to it, but not exactly doing cartwheels over all the hard graft I am going to have to put in.
Perhaps it is because I am older than the other trainees at 40. I dunno. Perhaps I am just a miserable grump.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
TheHammaconda · 11/08/2016 13:57

OP you really need to think long and hard about whether or not you will be able to manage the ITT year and your NQT year without additional support from your health provider. The first two years are hard work - emotionally, intellectually and physically.

You also need to be prepared to be heavily criticised by your course leader, your mentor and your students. You won't be able to tell to fuck off if you don't like what they have to say.

Please also let your course leader know that you are suffering from depression. They need to support you and to do that they need to know what your current state of mind is.

Good luck with your PGCE.

TheHammaconda · 11/08/2016 13:58

*You won't be able to tell them to fuck off if you don't like what they have to say.

Queenbean · 11/08/2016 14:04

Jammy dodgers are so boring. There should be at least double the amount of jam to biscuit. Everyone knows the jam is the best bit so why don't they do something about it

toadgirl · 11/08/2016 14:13

There should be at least double the amount of jam to biscuit

It's all a conspiracy to get us hooked on the jam.

The only way to get to the jam is through the biscuit.

There is never enough jam - just enough to whet our appetites for more.

It's an exercise in frustration.

So we need more biscuits to get a decent fix of jam.

Burton's Biscuits make a killing on sales.

Cunning stuff and It's been going on for years Angry

ohdearme1958 · 11/08/2016 14:20

Why couldn't you have either not responded to the post, or just say that's lovely?

You sound like really hard work

YABVU

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 11/08/2016 14:36

ohdear. I like to think OP is reading the posts, and understanding that some of us are sympathetic to her concerns - because we do get what an enormous commitment she's taken on, and how frightening that can be, especially if she's feeling vunerable right now, but that she can do it. She just needs a safe space to let it all out. To have studied and worked so hard, and then to feel she might not be up to it after all, must be incredibly depressing. There have been some rather harsh posts on this thread which have not taken into account the anxiety the OP has clearly expressed about her new career. She just wants a bit of support; but maybe went about asking for it in the 'wrong' way. Keep reading, OP, or do start another thread. (But if you don't respond soon, please be aware I may be drawn into the Jaffa Cake debate with toadgirl)

kaitlinktm · 11/08/2016 14:43

I too am on an education/teacher-related FB group and have to admit I find it hard going sometimes. I won't say which it is for obvious reasons but there is a lot of stealth and not so stealth boasting and too much fulsome praise.

I am relatively new to FB so maybe lots of groups are like this (although I must say my other non-educational ones aren't).

I stay on it because it can be quite useful and many members are genuinely helpful and have good ideas - but I have had to surreptitiously unfollow several members and quite often turn off notifications for certain types of posts.

I dare say you are feeling nervous about September - I know I always am and I have been teaching since the 1980s - and you snapped and told the truth. OK you shouldn't have, but it happens. I think being thrown out of the group might have been a good thing for you in the end - perhaps you could look for another one based on your specialism or the age group you teach or something.

Please don't delete your MN profile OP - and do start a new thread as suggested by PP. Flowers

CotswoldStrife · 11/08/2016 14:43

Oh, the irony. It's OK for the OP to be rude but if anyone else does the same ....

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 11/08/2016 14:50

cotsworld. She posted in haste, in a depressed and anxious state. I think by now, she knows she was wrong, but I've seen far, far worse on MN. People fuck up, especially when under pressure. I'm not saying PP's who said she was rude are out of order; she was, but a little bit of kindness, empathy and forgiveness won't go amiss for someone who is struggling a fair bit right now.

steff13 · 11/08/2016 14:53

Was it an Erin Condren planner?

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 11/08/2016 15:00

steff I just Googled this and I can see the attraction......And I'm not even a teacher (love Filofaxes, though)

ToxicLadybird · 11/08/2016 15:06

Me too. The one I saw came with stickers as well.

Noonesfool · 11/08/2016 15:08

What we need is some sort of biscuit/planner hybrid....🤔

Rainbowunicorn73 · 11/08/2016 15:09

You were rude to somebody you didn't know online.
You blocked people for disagreeing with you/defending her.
You openly look down on the group (calling comments vacuous)
You have already started a thread on here which criticised them.

Am not surprised you got kicked off. They're allowed to be excited and I'm glad that new teacher recruits are fresh and enthusiastic. Far better than being jaded and cynical before they even start.

Find a new group better suited to your temperament and leave them alone.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 11/08/2016 15:13

noones Grin. Now we're talking.

Scarydinosaurs · 11/08/2016 15:23

This is probably a great test for tolerance for when you have to feign interest in students dull weekends that they're desperate to tell you about. I'm got my 'gosh how interesting' face down to a fine art now.

Scorbus · 11/08/2016 15:23

OP on the off chance you're still reading: come into The Staffroom topic under Education. Teaching can feel overwhelming and there you'll get some responses from those in the know.

Hope your training goes well Flowers

CotswoldStrife · 11/08/2016 15:25

Quote from steff13

Was it an Erin Condren planner?

That was my first thought at the price, visually they look lovely!

Jess I do think the OP has done the right thing by seeking help with the nurse for him/herself but if you've been barred from a group for being rude, you ask if you were unreasonable and the response is a resounding yes then telling the respondents to FO is not really either a helpful tactic or a suitable reaction.

GoblinLittleOwl · 11/08/2016 15:32

Umm. Not sure you are suitable for teaching; think there are a few shocks ahead for you.

SerenDippitee · 11/08/2016 15:32

OP you really need to think long and hard about whether or not you will be able to manage the ITT year and your NQT year without additional support from your health provider. The first two years are hard work - emotionally, intellectually and physically.

You also need to be prepared to be heavily criticised by your course leader, your mentor and your students. You won't be able to tell [them] to fuck off if you don't like what they have to say.

Please also let your course leader know that you are suffering from depression. They need to support you and to do that they need to know what your current state of mind is.

Good luck with your PGCE.

This, this, this; a very sensible post from Hammaconda.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 11/08/2016 15:33

Cotsworld No, I know.... Just think there's a bit more to the original post than the OP let on, and that different wording may have got her a bit more support. It's tricky. Sometimes you have to take MN posts at face value; sometimes you have to read between the lines. I like to think that as the thread hasn't been deleted, she's still about somewhere taking all our advice!

HarlettOScara · 11/08/2016 15:40

It is possible to anxious and overwhelmed at the prospect of your training without pissing on the chips if those that are excited and eagerly anticipating what lies ahead

ohdearme1958 · 11/08/2016 17:01

Quote from steff13. Was it an Erin Condren planner? That was my first thought at the price, visually they look lovely

I use an Erin Condren planner because I fancied a change from Organised Mum. I also bought them for my daughters and daughters in law. One of them is a teacher and makes good use of her planner though its not for planning lessons or the likes.

I had a rare old time of it customizing the planners including having our names printed on the front on a font that suited each personality. We all received stickers with the planners but none of us use them.

They can be as basic as you want them to be. Or they can be the very opposite.

Cagliostro · 11/08/2016 17:27

I had a Jammie Dodger earlier but now I want more :(

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