Just got kicked off a Facebook group....was I unreasonable?

[mrgrouper]

I was on a teacher training group (the one where I posted an AIBU about the trainee who could not add a quarter and a half).
Most of the posts are, IMO, a bit vacuous. Fashion advice for trainees etc
Anyway one woman posted a photo of her new £34 planner last night with the caption "look at my £34 planner...cannot wait until September soooo excited!" and I posted "can people just stop bragging off". I was then dogpiled by a load of women who are soooo excited to start their training, so I blocked them and then got booted.
I think the main issue is I am not "soooo excited" about September. It looks like bloody hard work. I am looking forward to it, but not exactly doing cartwheels over all the hard graft I am going to have to put in.
Perhaps it is because I am older than the other trainees at 40. I dunno. Perhaps I am just a miserable grump.

Well instead of telling people to stop "bragging" (I think it's odd calling being excited about something "bragging off") why didn't you just tell them that you are not looking forward to it as much...

I'm going to defend the OP. While she was undoubtedly rude (about stationary - tut) and I completely agree with PP's that you shouldn't just post the first thing that comes into your head, starting a whole new career at 40 is terrifying! I'm in the early stages of counselling training - the very nature of this career means it does tend to attract older applicants, while in education, NQTs can be any age. In your early twenties, it's all new and exciting (and let's be honest, younger teachers are dropping out of education like flies), but at 40, starting from scratch is way more daunting. I think the OP deserves some credit for doing this in the first place, and probably hoped the forum might offer some support to those who are anxious/nervous, but instead it was all 'sooooo excited!'

You picked the wrong forum, OP, and I hope you find one that offers you the encouragement and reassurance you need. Congrats on the new career, you have my admiration - just maybe think a wee bit before posting in future. Good luck!

oh fuck off everyone. I actually have depression at the moment and ended up seeing a psych nurse yesterday. So what if I was a bit rude? Could not really give a shit tbh. Will ask for the thread to be deleted. In fact will ask for my whole profile here to be deleted.

OP that's really harsh, you did ask for everyone's opinions, MN can be robust in honesty!

That said, it sounds like you're really struggling at the moment. Are you getting help for your mental health issues? Hopefully you are and will feel better soon

Righto then.

You asked AIBU!

I have depression and it's tough and it clouds your judgement sometimes. That could be what is affecting your social media response and here.

YAB very U!
You are entitled to dread September and the hard work, but how can you now grasp that some people chose to do a certain training and are genuinely excited about it. Not everybody dreads hard work for a start, as long as it's something they are passionate about.

You don't understand why someone is excited about stationery... good grief, you need to cheer up a bit. Are you sure that training is the right thing for you?

yes, well perhaps I should not have asked for opinions. perhaps I made a mistake because I am not fucking perfect OK?

Yes you definitely need to practise your excited face for some of the 'exciting' news your kids will give you.

"Miss ive got a new pen"
"Miss me and my boyfriend just got married"
"Miss my mums going on Jeremy Kyle".

I hope when you are a teacher, and probably no less stressed, you don't snap "stop bragging" at children who are excited about or pleased with things that you don't 'get'.

But £34 for a planner????? 😱

YWBU.

OP, before you go, can I just say that I'm sorry you're depressed at the moment, and you're anxious about the training.
Your comment on the FB group was obviously taken as 'off', and you've been quite verbally aggressive here, to posters who were just reacting to the info you put in your opening post.
I hope your training goes well. Do you have a mentor you can chat things over with?

OP, you are clearly anxious about this new job and it's actually quite normal. You lost it in the heat of the moment, I've done it which is why I don't go on FB. Deep breaths. You can do it. You've trained for it, you've earned it. As mum of a son who starts school in September, I'd have more respect for an NQT who admitted she was nervous, than one who was more excited about her new stationary.

will ask for my whole profile here to be deleted

You do realise that this will not hurt or upset anyone else in any way shape or form?

So it's OK for you to be rude honest to others, but not OK when reversed? How d'you know the woman who was excited isn't struggling with other things in her life too? Maybe she has depression and enjoying buying stationery is her escape?

C'mon OP - treat others how you like to be treated yourself.

OP I hope you find others on your course who are also mature students and who share where you are coming from. I enjoyed my second degree so much more than my first because I was more focuses and because I made some great friends with whom I am still in contact. It's nice the young ones have enthusiasm but we all know they will be up and down emotionally re relationships and study and don't envy them all that (with the exception of the energy).
It may be hard work but when you are interested in the subject and enjoy the work it doesn't seem so hard. Also have the confidence to go to the appropriate person for advice if you are unsure about what exactly is required.
Good luck

You are paneling.
It is part of your anxiety and depression.
The group was wrong for you. That is why it got on your nerves.
Please get some help for your feelings and emotional state - you will need everything and more to teach. Good luck.

OP it's ok to not be looking forward to it. It's not ok to be nasty to people who are and they don't have to take it just because you have depression.

I dunno about the group, it doesn't sound like teaching is the right career move if you snap so easily.

As mum of a son who starts school in September, I'd have more respect for an NQT who admitted she was nervous, than one who was more excited about her new stationary.

Good grief, really?!

It was one post about her new stationary. How do you know she's not nervous and has also admitted it?

So what if I was a bit rude? Could not really give a shit tbh.

well then you deserved to be kicked off the group. So what if you are stressed and have issues, that doesn't give you the right to take it out on others.

Paneling? Sorry panicking.
I have no idea if you enjoy DIY.

Meh
You had a tact failure.
If your mental health was better you'd have just rolled your eyes and moved on to the next post ...... You probably did upset her though. Most of these kind of groups are for mutual support as no matter what people say they will be nervous and looking for validation and mutual support. Clearly it wasn't the right group for you but plenty of other groups out there .....in the end it's only Facebook.

Sounds like you are burning bridges everywhere OP, which is one of my red flags that I'm not coping as well as I thought and need some help. I hope you get the RL support you need and are able to enjoy your training.

Perhaps teaching isn't the right career choice for you