To dislike my in-laws ALOT!!!

[jessieb887]

So me, hubby and our 2 boys aged 4 and 3 have made the long journey down to South Wales to stay with hubbys dad and step mum. Which is hard work all by itself as it means a 4:30 start to try and avoid traffic and also the obligatory 'are we there yet'
So we arrive and the don't do this don't do that, come away from there and oooo don't touch that begins almost instantly! After being cooped up in a car for 5 hours the last thing my boys need is to be chastised on a minutely basis! So we suggest the park well them being pretty rubbish grandparents don't fancy that so off we go alone!
But anyway on to my main rant, my 3 yo is super fussy and only really eats sausage and chips for tea (I've spoken to the health visitor and have been told not to worry) is then basically a really unhealthy child in their eyes as he didn't want the roast lamb dinner they had been preparing (in fact neither did my 4 yr old but that's by the by) i also do not like lamb or the idea of cheesy mash potatoes with gravy ( I forgot to add I am also fussy) so me and 4yo ended up eating sausage and roast potatoes. Much to their disgust and several tuts and dirty looks. I'm nearly 30 so why does this upset me so much! I even got told this morning when I said I didn't like Cheerios that I only didn't like them because they don't have sugar on!! I nearly exploded my inner self just wanted to shout at step mum in law I don't like Cheerios because I don't like bloody Cheerios ok!!
Sorry about the massive rant but I seriously needed to vent somewhere.

I worked on an awards ceremony for children's nurseries which took place in a fancy hotel in London. An entire table of 10 nursery workers made a special request for pasta and tomato sauce instead of the posh food of the menu. Do you work in a nursery OP?

littleshirleybeans well aren't you a charmer!

Pondering over this thread...

As a child growing up in the 60/70s, we didn't have any "children's food". Everyone in the family ate the same thing.

I grew up in an environment of like it or leave it, but expect it to be served up at the next meal.

There is no food that I don't like, so this upbringing has not negatively affected me.

What we have found with roast dinners is that LOs can have a choice and exercise their own power. We have always done Sunday lunch with all veggies in serving dishes (making use of wedding China). Everyone gets to choose what they eat rather than having it forced on them.

To this day, my DCs will say that roast dinners are their favourite meals, and I am sure this stems from when they were toddlers.

The other sentiment that has come up on this thread is the notion that DC may be on the autistic spectrum. Fair enough, but also appreciate that older people may have early onset dementia.

Me too Ramsay. Texted my OH to say I fancy roast lamb for dinner

Maybe you can buy them a new Alot

I think, as parents, we do in a certain sense pander to our child's likes/dislikes fucking arguments about eating rice in this house But there is taking it to extremes.

It really isn't feasible, when staying at others, to expect sausages and chips for every meal. I am intrigued to find out if he has this for breakfast lunch and dinner. I get sausages with apple in them to get fruit of some sort into my ds, so you can adapt these things.

It really makes sense to discuss these things before you get there. You could always bring extra breakfast stuff. We have holiday 'treat' if pain au chocolat or mini cereal boxes on holiday.

YABU

I won't comment on you DC as I know a lot of children with issues like this.
However I think u just need to suck it up an eat what u are given tbh not only will it help your child to see you trying stuff you may not like (maybe comments like oh I'm not sure I like his but I will definitely try it,thank you! won't do any harm) but I would find it rude if I'd made a meal and a adult refused it if this wasn't spoken about prior to arrival anyway.

I visited a elderly neighbour today she made me a coffee..... I hate coffee..... I drank it anyway out of politeness it didn't harm me in anyway!

GinandJag Same here, and it was 'bread and sniff it' if you didn't eat what was in front of you.

I think some of the dils on here sound delightful I do hope ds brings someone with a modicum of manners home when he gets around to it.

As a child growing up in the 60/70s, we didn't have any "children's food". Everyone in the family ate the same thing.
Exactly. My mother was a terrible cook but we ate every scrap.

I visited a elderly neighbour today she made me a coffee..... I hate coffee..... I drank it anyway out of politeness it didn't harm me in anyway!
Bless you!

Sestra The Alot is better than you at everything.

I think it is weird to drink a cup of coffee if you hate it. When she offered you coffee, could you not just say you preferred tea, or would like a glass of water?

I think you can take politeness too far, good manners do not require me putting anything in my body I don't want there. A lesson we must all teach our daughters - too much politeness enforced on young females does not always help them as adults.

And these fond 70s reminiscences rather prove my point....

whatthe are you alright? You sound like you have quite a high level of anxiety. Possibly a touch hysterical. I'm not sure I've seen anything that 'proves your point', if I'm honest.

I think you can take politeness too far, No you really can't.

God you sound a right bundle of fun.

A lesson we must all teach our daughters

Don't be a pain in the arse when a guest in someone else's home. Can also be applied to sons.

Grow up whatthe. Coffee might be all the old lady had in. Furthermore, if the neighbour is of a different culture, a refusal of a drink might be deemed insulting.

Given some of the young females I've taught, I don't think all of them had politeness forced on them at all in any way, shape or form. I think that's becoming all too apparent with the entitled attitudes displayed in much of society today.

BodsAuntFlo ds tells me I'm not grown up enough to be a Grandma yet!!!!

OP, going back to your original post yes they were pretty patronising, particularly with regards to the Cheerios, but you are giving them too much ammo!

You really need to put yourself in a position where you aren't rejecting everything they offer you (and it does seem to be everything) by putting yourself a bit more in charge of food, either by being very clear on likes and dislikes or by bringing your own food and being clear you will sort yourself and your son out.

Your wingeing just gave them an opportunity to criticise you, and as they sound like highly critical people you need to draw some boundaries.

What role does your DH play in your son's diet? I would direct any criticisms they have regarding that towards him. Why are you being blamed because you have a vagina?

MadHatter I am fine - thanks for the passive aggressive faux 'concern'. A great demonstration of how so called 'polite people' insult others - cheers for that.

I think eating food you don't like is taking politeness too far - in fact I think it is odd. It is perfectly polite to calmly state a food/drink preference. Forcing stuff you don't like into your body is turning 'politeness' into a something very odd indeed..

Scary mine tell me the similar. Oddly enough, I must be responsible enough to babysit though.

Sqoosh, I don't think that is the lesson whatthe meant.

I know!

scaryteacher we obviously have a very different perception of the youth of today. I don't think young people are 'entitled'. I think they have been dealt a shit hand, with greater exam pressure, student fees, spiralling housing costs, low paid jobs. I am often in awe of their verve and resilience against the odds. I like kids and young people, I am not going to join in the 'in my day' brigade that love to put children down.