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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is my partner out of order

113 replies

allthingsred · 10/08/2016 22:36

My dp gone away for 5 days today on a stag do. & He never bothered saying goodbye to me or our 3 dc, ate his dinner said he was gonna pop his suitcase round to his friends then would be back. Instead he has gone, no phonecall, no txt just gone.
Aibu or is that a really shitty thing to do just piss off for 5 days but not even say goodbye to his kids? I'm so cross with him right now. Think I need the space to calm down. I would never do that.just go without giving him or kids so much as a kiss goodbye. Or am I over reacting?

OP posts:
AuditAngel · 10/08/2016 22:37

You know it isn't you

Dilligaf81 · 10/08/2016 22:40

No he's been a selfish nob. My kids would be gutted if their dad done this.
Was there any argument or anything beforehand?
Just can't understand why he'd do that.

RubbleBubble00 · 10/08/2016 22:42

no I'd be unbelievably stabby about not saying goodbye to the kids, mine would be devastated and lots of tears if he hadn't said goodbye

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 22:42

It's not is it? Like I said im just so pissed with him, i wanted to know that it's not normal or even respectful. He is completely out of order.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 10/08/2016 22:42

I'd tell him not to come back. He's clearly got his mind on other things and his family is way down on his list of priorities.

sklooshy · 10/08/2016 22:42

Yanbu, does he have a key? Lock the door and make sure your out on the day he comes back Grin

Hippywannabe · 10/08/2016 22:45

Re you sure there is a stag do?

Buggers · 10/08/2016 22:45

He definitely got to his mates okay? If so then yes his a huge knob.

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 22:48

No, no argument literally had dinner, kids had gone back out to play & he was umming & aahhing about what to do (drive down early in morning to meeting point or stay with his friend tonight )
He said he was gonna drop his case off to his friend but would be back in 10 min that was 6.30
I'm staying calm cause I don't want kids to see how upset I am. But I know when he gets back he'll try to downplay it like it's not a big deal but I'm really hurt & feel it's so dis respectful to us

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 10/08/2016 22:49

It's not one of those 'surprise' things where he was whisked off is it?

boo2410 · 10/08/2016 22:50

OP I can't fucking believe that, what a twunt. What will the kids say? I can't believe you haven't called him already and had a not so little word. I wouldn't be able to keep my gob shut. Just got to go and pick my jaw up off the floor.

PointlessUsername · 10/08/2016 22:51

Have you spoken to him?. A real shot and selfish thing to do.

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 22:53

Yep defo a stag do. & yes he got keys. Although I should change the lock!
Ffs his phone off now. Not that he was answering before. He is a selfish pig.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 10/08/2016 22:53

5 days for a stag do?? That alone is massively U.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2016 22:57

I would wait until the fifth day then dump him. He'd have too much fun if he was dumped earlier.

confuugled1 · 10/08/2016 22:58

Have you heard anything from him at all?

I'd ring the friend and say that you haven't heard anything from DP, that he was going to go to his house to drop off his case and then be back in 10 minutes, you're worried he's had an accident or worse, the dc are upset as they wanted to see him etc etc and lay it on thick to the friend.

And then go ballistic when friend says that he's there - say it's completely unreasonable to say he was popping out for 10 minutes when he's been gone for hours, to not say goodbye etc etc etc and say that you're really hurt. And hopefully it might sink in what a knob he's been...

Mrskeats · 10/08/2016 22:58

Terrible behaviour that shows such lack of care for you and the kids
5 days for a stag do is also ridiculous
I couldn't put up with that kind of treatment

Bogeyface · 10/08/2016 22:58

On the upside, you now have 5 days to get everything sorted out before he comes back.

You do know that you dont have to put up with this dont you?

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 22:59

Not been wisked off the stag & do in different country. I spoke to him a little after he left & he said he'd be back in 10 mins that was 4 hrs ago.
I've promised kids a trip to cinema & swimming tomorrow cause they just looked really confused dad had gone. (They knew he was going but because of the not saying goodbye didn't realise that was it)

OP posts:
MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 10/08/2016 23:01

Completely unacceptable. Have you heard from him since he got to his friends? It is so out of order that I almost want to give him the benefit of the doubt and think something has happened or come up? Surely no one would be that much of an arse?

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 10/08/2016 23:02

Sorry, cross post! He's a dick. Tell him to stay wherever he is.

Lilacpink40 · 10/08/2016 23:02

Very unimpressive. He owes you - can you send him list of jobs to do with short deadlines for when he returns?

More importantly, your DCs will ask you about their dad. So you can text him everyday and pass that onto him.

Be honest about your disappointment with him. Flowers

Thelaundrylady · 10/08/2016 23:02

YANBU that's completely unacceptable. I would be absolutely furious Angry
Does he usually pull stunts like this ?

sklooshy · 10/08/2016 23:02

What a prize selfish twat! I would be fuming, your poor dcs. That is not reasonable behaviour for a parent. Has he done anything like that before?

youngestisapsycho · 10/08/2016 23:04

Have you actually spoke to him since he left?