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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is my partner out of order

113 replies

allthingsred · 10/08/2016 22:36

My dp gone away for 5 days today on a stag do. & He never bothered saying goodbye to me or our 3 dc, ate his dinner said he was gonna pop his suitcase round to his friends then would be back. Instead he has gone, no phonecall, no txt just gone.
Aibu or is that a really shitty thing to do just piss off for 5 days but not even say goodbye to his kids? I'm so cross with him right now. Think I need the space to calm down. I would never do that.just go without giving him or kids so much as a kiss goodbye. Or am I over reacting?

OP posts:
ThreeSaggyBalloons · 10/08/2016 23:04

Not wanting to alarm you but, if this is out of character, are you sure he's arrived safely? Have you tried his mate?

If he has done this then he is being completely unreasonable. What a tit! Flowers

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 10/08/2016 23:05

I would only bother with confuddle's method if he's really definitely worth it. Otherwise I would... change the locks and try to get affairs in order and make a new life plan over the next five days. Back in ten minutes then turns phone off before five day stag do indeed! Major fucking disrespect!

molyholy · 10/08/2016 23:06

What a horrible thing to do! As laundry said, does he have form for this kind of thing?

SENPARENT · 10/08/2016 23:06

Your partner is way out of order. If this is how he normally behaves, showing so little concern or respect for you or his kids I would be seriously questioning staying with him.
You and your children deserve better.

champersandgin · 10/08/2016 23:09

What ThreeSaggyBalloons said.

I'd have been calling after an hour to find out where he was.

I hope he's OK and if he has just buggered off then I'd be furious and I'm not quite sure he could make that level of disrespect up to me.

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 23:10

Last year (another stag) I was having to work late & couldn't meet him to collect kids off him early (he was driving a group of people up north) I asked him about for he could wait for 1hr for me to finish. But he was in such a hurry to go. He dropped kids to me outside my office & text goodbye. But the argument we had when he got back, I thought he would have understood how out of order he was & how hurt i was. Which is why I said that I know he will try to normalise it.
He is (despite this) a really good guy, & a fantastic dad. But this is just wrong

OP posts:
Rainbowunicorn73 · 10/08/2016 23:14

Shitty knob head thing to do and you know it is.... Poor you and poor kids. When he's due back lock him out, turn off your phone and put a suitcase of his belongings at his mates house. Don't let him trample all over you or he'll keep doing it. Grrrr cross on your behalf!!

Thelaundrylady · 10/08/2016 23:16

He dropped the kids off outside your office Shock!!
So his weekends away with the boys are more important than the wellbeing of his family ??

PeppasNanna · 10/08/2016 23:18

He's not behaving like a good guy or fantastic father...Hmm

YANBU !

Peanut14 · 10/08/2016 23:19

YANBU, it's very strange behavior to think its ok to just leave without saying goodbye.

I would have read him the riot act if my DP dropped my children off outside my work and sent a text goodbye. That is beyond selfish.

skankingpiglet · 10/08/2016 23:20

Just Shock at dropping the kids off outside your office! What if you hadn't picked up the text...?!

Arfarfanarf · 10/08/2016 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 10/08/2016 23:21

Ah yes fantastic dads always drop their kids off outside their oh's office so they can go on the last with their mates Hmm

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 23:23

I think (& I'm being kind here. It's the anxiety of travelling ) he doesn't think straight. But after that time like I said the row was so big when he got back. I can't believe he's done this.
Like I said he is really a good guy, but has pissed me off tonight big time. I just needed to 'say it out loud' to see I'm not going mad he is been a twat!
Well hope he enjoys it I'm gonna enjoy my time with my babies & plan just how he's gonna make this up to us!

OP posts:
wowfudge · 10/08/2016 23:27

Do his friends not have kids? If they don't understand he has responsibilities then that could explain why he didn't come back, etc. I don't understand why on earth he took his suitcase and planned to come back though. Let him know he needs to explain to the children why he never said goodbye.

ReginaBlitz · 10/08/2016 23:28

Mug.

Arfarfanarf · 10/08/2016 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Msqueen33 · 10/08/2016 23:31

What an arsehole! I also think five days for a stag is a bit unreasonable. Is he using annual leave?! I would be massively hacked off at both. If the tables were turned would he be pleased?

ThreeSaggyBalloons · 10/08/2016 23:31

That is really odd behaviour. Why would he not text? It would take 5 seconds? I can't imagine someone being that self absorbed that he would treat you with such disrespect. I'm don't think I could forgive that level of twattery!

gamerchick · 10/08/2016 23:33

Well hope he enjoys it I'm gonna enjoy my time with my babies & plan just how he's gonna make this up to us

This is why he's done it. You let him dropping your kids off while you were at WORK go. This is peanuts because he knows he'll get a row when he comes home and you'll let it go.

The end.

Botanicbaby · 10/08/2016 23:36

YANBU!

What an utter bellend. I can't believe you're putting up with this shit or that you think he's a good parent/partner?!

I couldn't be attracted to someone who behaved like that towards me & my children & wouldn't say my self-esteem was particularly great. Sorry OP I can understand why you're fuming but no amount of crawling & 'good behaviour' could make up for this.

champersandgin · 10/08/2016 23:36

He's done it twice? First time I'd forgive. Not this time.

Original poster
allthingsred · 10/08/2016 23:36

Sorry my fault, where my office is the children often come in & sit either before or after school/ after school club drop offs.
It was out of order when he done that & believe me he got more than riot act for doing it. But having children in my office for a little bit wasn't unusual
But we got past it.
I'm so disappointed with him tonight though like I said it's just such a disregard for us.

OP posts:
MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 10/08/2016 23:37

Well that's helpful Regina Hmm

MrsS1980 · 10/08/2016 23:37

Everyone is really angry with him but are you sure nothing has happened? Please ring friend he was dropping suitcase off with and check he arrived!