Is life harder for unattractive people?

[CherryPicking]

I know life can be hard for lots of reasons, and that discrimination can take many forms more serious than this, but putting all other factors aside just for now, is day to day life that little bit harder for less attractive people? For example, are people less likely to be accepting of someone behaving assertively, either at work or elsewhere, if the person in question isn't easy on the eye? (I'm not much to look at myself if that makes any difference). What about things like job interviews or social situations, meeting new people?

Some of my most attractive friends are the least bitchy, they know how it feels, they've had people like you think they need taking down a peg or two their whole lives!

Uhm, did you even read my posts? I've dealt with this my whole fucking life too!

The reason I didn't start talking about the difficulties of making female friends, the nastiness, jealous girlfriends etc is because I was trying to respect what this post is about, and it's not about the difficulties in being beautiful.

Everything has it's downside, doesn't it? And in the end, what is meant by unattractive? I think physical beauty is what you notice first off about someone but if their personality is what stays. Someone might be objectively beautiful but if they are dead boring or unpleasant that beauty will not take them very far, except as maybe arm candy for a man like Trump.

I'm just saying it works both ways. but possibly just for women. Attractive men I think get treated well by women AND men.

You know what really pisses me off, bar men who make a point of letting you know not to bother flirting with them, when you have no intention of flirting with them, you just want a bloody drink, but they as good as say "you'll obviously fancy me because you're dumpy, so lets just be clear now ya! I DON'T find you attractive and I'm going to make sure you know it by not even being polite and professional with you like I am with the pretty girls"

and the ones who just don't serve you at all because you are invisible not pretty and your standing there forever, definitely longer than others

Justine, sorry you have had an awful time. You can ger your problem fixed. Operation Smile can help you. Please get in touch with them, it isnt too late to do so. X

I am regularly annoyed by a woman at work (who I actually like as a friend). Who will often say, when reading news about a tragic death "how sad/tragic/what a pity, wasn't she beautiful" as if she hadn't been so attractive the there would have been no loss so to speak.

Someone might be objectively beautiful but if they are dead boring or unpleasant that beauty will not take them very far
Yeah but they got off the starting blocks, even if they didn't do much after that! You can't "go far" if you are invisible in the first place and don't get to show what you can do!

If it gets you a foot in the door, even if you are rubbish, you got a chance
If you don't get a foot in the door, you still don't get very far do you? no matter how nice or efficient you are

"Attractive" people are not necessarily good looking IYKWIM. I know some plain or quirky people who know how to be alluring/ approachable or whatever. It's really down to confidence.

I guess I'm fairly attractive - not drop dead gorgeous but pleasant enough on a good day.

When I was 19 I had a job as a car parts delivery driver, and it was admitted to me by management when I worked there that when vacancies came up they gave the job to the best looking girl that applied. The logic was, a garage has 6 or so parts companies, all offering the same things at similar prices, so having the best looking driver was an asset as the garages would choose her.

And I have been known to flutter my eyelashes to get what I want, though maybe that isn't so effective these days. Often I've been offered help I don't actually want, for example my job involves buying fairly heavy stuff at auctions, which I'm more than capable of getting to the car myself, but I always have a few men trying to do it for me.

It definitely works both ways Sandy, as I said I still bear the brunt of it. Can't wait to get old enough to be considered well, 'old!'

Does that really happen in clubs? Male privilege never ceases to amaze me

I used to know a man who was also a head turner. One of the nastiest fuckers I've ever met. He had what he called a 'game.' When at a club, he'd pick 'the ugliest minger there,' flirt with her, buy her drinks, be a total gentleman. Then at the end of the night he'd laugh in her face and say 'Do you really think I'd like someone like you? [insert barrage of abuse about her weight/face/teeth... Pretty much anything]

He openly bragged about this. I can't even imagine how traumatising that would be for the poor woman.
Worst part was, a lot of people would laugh

The most physically beautiful person I know is a man. He's a lovely person too. The bastard. When he started in our company everyone's eyes were out on stalks, now he just blends in to the background. But as someone said above when you are beautiful day-to-day interactions with the public are made easier for you. Humans are drawn to the most pleasing physical specimens like moths to a flame.

A lot of scientific research is based on the established 'halo effect' that was put forward by American research (I think American but too tired to check). Research often just supports previous research that sounds about right and often methodologies are poor. I'm not sure this type of evidence stands on this side of the pond in RL

Special it takes a certain kind of cunt to be that cruel. I wonder what his motivation was. A need to put strangers down in such a public manner doesn't indicate particularly high self esteem.

I can see both sides of this question. I have green eyes, long blonde hair and a large bust. I tend to get lots of admiring glances, come ons and no traffic tickets although I have been stopped for speeding...lots. Things change though when I am out of car, get up from my seat at the bar or walk through a crowd. I am either on crutches or limping do to my disability. It is almost like a cloak of invisibility descends upon me.

I guess my confidence comes from my ability to connect with other people, do my job well and be part of a loving marriage.

Bunty I have no clue what his motivation was. In a way, I didn't care because he was so cruel. I just tried to stay away from him at work. He's married with daughters now... I really hope the children are attractive. How much worse could he be to his own child if he got off on humiliating and abusing random women.

Chances I'm fairly confident it applies here too, maybe not as much? But there's no denying it exists.

I think it is more difficult for unattractive people to some degree but there are definitely people who can turn heads even when they would be generally considered quite plain.

I think good-looking people have to put much less effort into things and will generally be allowed to get away with more than unattractive people.

Both my parents are very, very good-looking. My mother in particular was stunning, I can remember when she used to come into my school everyone would turn and stare and say she looked like a film star. Unfortunately for her she is a difficult and unpleasant woman and as soon as her good looks faded so did many people's ability to tolerate her nonsense. My dad, on the other hand, is charming and funny as well as handsome, he's also quite selfish in a lot of ways but people put up with it as he is good company.

I've recently lost quite a lot of weight and I've noticed a real difference in the way I'm treated, however I'm not sure that it's down to me being more attractive now.

I feel more confident, I smile more and I feel at ease in myself. I'm happier and I think that a positive mental attitude goes a long way. When I look good I feel like I can do things that I wouldn't have done before.

I'm definitely not beautiful but being confident makes a real difference in how others treat you in my experience

NatalieRushman as the recipient of several free coffees in Pret, I can confirm this is true.

I would objectively say I'm above average looking, but as a late bloomer I've seen both sides of the coin. If anything I preferred it before. I don't know if life is easier because of the way I look, but I certainly get hassled more, and I've had some beyond creepy comments from male colleagues.

Yes, life is harder for unattractive people.

I'm certainly not beautiful, hopefully I'm average (whatever that is!) and I think I have finally reached the point where I care less about what people think about me (untested so far).

I have low esteem and I don't think that's ever going to change, and have learned to put on a façade of confidence in order to survive.

Giles could I just say that I think the inability to forgive yourself for your mistakes is the curse of life, attractive or not. It is such a hard thing to do, forgive yourself, and yet we are human and we all make mistakes, it is inherent in us.

I do think that life is more difficult if you are unattractive. Beauty carries the promise of happiness, however misleading it may be.

Is life more difficult for unnattractive people?

I wouldn't know.

Attractive people definitely have life easier. It's even little things such as cars stopping to let an attractive person cross the road/ people automatically taking a positive attitude towards them at interview. There is a lot of research about this.

I think attractive people can get so used to this type of treatment, that they don't even realise they are getting it. It is definitely an advantage in life. I think anyone claiming how hard it is to be attractive is being a bit disingenuous.

I think it is more so for women than men. An interesting range of experiences that have been described on this thread.

As for the 'beautiful women have it harder' reasoning - people instinctively dislike very attractive people who show signs of vanity.

For example, Megan Fox - I have a kind of unbiddable disdain for her, she's a vampy, self-satisfied twat. Ditto Giselle (although she seems slightly less twatty). On the other hand you'll find people like Christy Turlington who wears her beauty so well, she'll be forgiven for it.

I really can't agree with women who never pay for drinks in bars. Surely you're letting our side down a bit?

It is hard to be beautiful, there are some really horrible 'side effects.' BUT the bad bits are not comparable to what unattractive people go through. My DS1 has facial deformities and it's really opened my eyes to my privilege, even though it comes at a cost. It breaks my heart the things even adults come out with about my sweet little boy