Is life harder for unattractive people?

[CherryPicking]

I know life can be hard for lots of reasons, and that discrimination can take many forms more serious than this, but putting all other factors aside just for now, is day to day life that little bit harder for less attractive people? For example, are people less likely to be accepting of someone behaving assertively, either at work or elsewhere, if the person in question isn't easy on the eye? (I'm not much to look at myself if that makes any difference). What about things like job interviews or social situations, meeting new people?

I was 18-22. I hadn't discovered feminism yet. I wasn't trying to let down my gender That's a bit bloody harsh!

Definitely true op.

Realised that the only 2 of us that got into a very prestigious city job without a top class degree from Oxbridge were me and another girl both had normal academics but funnily enough both objectively attractive in the same way (some years ago now ha).

No! Not at all! At all! People tell be I'm stunning, and a lovely, kind, approachable person. I'm very sociable and fun. No one ever chats me up and I've been single years.

I educated myself to the highest possible degree and slogged away for years and years to get a decent salary only now, 15 years after first degree. Interview short listing etc goes on CV so looks have never come into it.

Social class is more of an issue. Your childhood. But looks? No!

Yes, I can speak from my experience. I was quite plain looking in school often being ignored for parts in school plays, vividly remember teacher whispering to another to replace me with the class hottie and I was only about 6-7 years. Over time, I have blossomed to a decent looking person I do feel better looking people at work of either sex do get attention and are relatively popular . The average ones need to have remarkable talents to get noticed and I'm not even in a glamorous industry by any standard

Another Paul Rudd fan here. I like 'em slightly grumpy looking!

I'm weird because I've been told I'm ugly my who life, yet in my teens and twenties I definitely benefitted to some extent from some of the privilege s people have spoken about here, albeit to a lesser extent. I put this down to having a better figure then than I do now after dcs. Facially I guess I've always been ugly. I do notice a difference now in terms of how I'm treated, so it's not true to say less attractive people don't have the burden of losing their looks as they get older. In my case I think I've gone from ugly with an OK body to just plain minging. And I miss the former state of affairs, and wish I'd been able to hang on at least to the physical assets I had. In my experience beautiful younger people turn into beautiful older people, and people like me just look steadily worse because we don't have a good bone structure to hold it all together.

In my experience, those who are more attractive have that inner confidence that comes from people's natural acceptance and approval of them, which some unattractive people may feel they have to fight for and I'm not sure more attractive people ever understand this as its so subtle but yet so powerful as these subtleties affect every human interaction.

Years ago, a friend in PR told me that they had recently interviewed graduates, and there was one female, slightly overweight and not very good looking. She was apparently very good on paper. But friend told me that she would never get a second interview anywhere in the industry, because of her appearance.

It's been interesting to read experiences of beautiful people on here.

I've a friend who many would consider unattractive. She has a wonderful loving husband. I often think how lucky she is as she knows he really loves her. that's what it's all about.

She also happens to have a job she enjoys, degree, children.

Being chatted up or fancied from afar, flirted with at work, occasional free drinks - none of this means anything. I can't think of any worthwhile benefits of having your facial features arranged in a way deemed "beautiful". I'd rather one man found me beautiful based on our mutual connection. I'd rather be in a job I love and worked for and got on merit.

The other day I was walking to tesco and I randomly thought to myself, I wonder what it would be like to spend just one day, breathtakingly beautiful, to turn heads as I walked. Must actually be quite weird to be stared at? Guess I'll never know

Me too! I would just like to have 24 hours being stunningly beautiful to see what it's like, I have no idea! I'm average but scrub up well I think and that's only said from confidence about myself.

However, I'm older now and I feel I have to fight the invisibility that comes with age. I was out for a meal with a friend and 2 girls who are in their twenties and actually very very beautiful, so much so, it's hard not to stare. The waiter was pathetic with his grovelling to them, and almost disdain to us. He plonks our menus in front of me and friend, but almost did a bow (and a leer) when handing the beauties their menus. And this went on and on through the meal, so much so me and friend (both of us looking OK honestly) were just pissing ourselves laughing. It was so blatant.

I would just like to see what that's like for 24 hours and then go back to being me.

I was 18-22. I hadn't discovered feminism yet. I wasn't trying to let down my gender hmm That's a bit bloody harsh!

You don't have to be a fully-evolved feminist to understand that accepting drinks in clubs foments a rather ugly view of women in a certain kind of man's mind. It's transparently a sign of some kind of interest.

Years ago, a friend in PR told me that they had recently interviewed graduates, and there was one female, slightly overweight and not very good looking. She was apparently very good on paper. But friend told me that she would never get a second interview anywhere in the industry, because of her appearance.

PR has to be second only to the fashion industry in its brutality.

Look Apple, I was trying to share my own experiences on this thread as it's a interesting and important topic. I'm simply not going to discuss the drink thing anymore, I feel I've explained myself enough.

OK.

Wouldn't it be good to take a photo of everyone in this thread and guess who was who .. I wonder whether as a collective we would agree with who has proclaimed themselves beautiful, ugly or average? What was that woman called who was on BB after making 'I'm so beautiful' comments (lives in France, journalist)? Without being bitchy, I would never describe her as a beautiful.

I guess I'm resonanly attractive (in a pretty way not a glamorous or sexy way) but certainly not jaw droppingly so.
However, In my male dominated profession my looks have resulted in all sorts of comments and inuendos, some had to be reported. I'm not saying life is harder generally because I'm deemed attractive but of the few women I work with I definitively get the most attention - which makes me feel undervalued, patronised and a bit cheap. I can't help the way I look and I'm certainly not going to make efforts to gain weight or have a bad haircut. IMO the ones making commented have the problem which needs to be rectified, not me!
So in my experience being more attractive can also have the potential to make life harder.

cloudhopping I think you've hit the nail on the head there. I can actually see this happening with two of my dcs: one has fairytale good looks and tends to get positive responses from random strangers about her hair \ general attractiveness. She's very self confident. The other DC is absolutely gorgeous in my eyes, but in the eyes of the world has already experienced negativity about her looks. One example was when I was chatting to a lady looking after her baby granddaughter and said "as, she reminds me of dd2 when she was tiny". No word of a lie, this woman looked 4 yr old DD up and down and said " Really? Oh no. Oh dear." In front of poor DD! I had to bring our conversation to an abrupt end at that point. Cow.

Being physically attractive definitely opens doors and opportunities. I often feel inferior when in company of attractive, well groomed, slim women, even if they might be total nitches personality wise.

Being male, Catholic and depressed, I never thought of myself as having any kind of looks in my teens and 20s. There was quite a lot of shagging, but I put that down to drink.

Looked at the wedding album recently. Genuinely startled to realise that I looked good, with a decent physique. Asked DW, was I really all that? Yes, but it was the charm she went for.

Further confirmation that my mother was wrong about a lot of things.

I agree it's to do with confidence. I also think that - at least at work - it's to do with what industry you're in. I work in media and it's a harsh place for unattractive women. And I do mean women. My boss is a slightly odd-looking man and is always on TV and being a 'figurehead'. I won't do TV because you always have to send a photo of yourself to the researcher beforehand and I won't risk being turned down. I am not a looker and my self-esteem is fragile at best.

I'm not sure if this applies to other industries. Or perhaps it does, just not as consciously.

Beauty is a very powerful currency.

at disgraced. Maybe it's a Catholic thing. I always thought I was nothing in the looks department ( and didn't do any shagging). Now that I am over fifty and fat with a face like the back end of a bus, I look back at photos of this skim, dark haired girl who really was quite attractive. What a waste of youth!

I hope this doesn't turn into "it's all about your weight". No, it's about how pretty you are. I'm slim but not pretty and my experience is that pretty women have a far, far easier life. I accept that being really beautiful may come with some disadvantages but overall attractive people do better - as pp have said there is a lot of research to confirm it. I got a free coffee at Pret recently and I really don't think the server fancied me - she was just being nice, and it totally made my day. I didn't even know it was a thing, but thinking back I'm sure she did say something about loyalty.

I hope this doesn't turn into "it's all about your weight". No, it's about how pretty you are. I'm slim but not pretty and my experience is that pretty women have a far, far easier life. I accept that being really beautiful may come with some disadvantages but overall attractive people do better - as pp have said there is a lot of research to confirm it. I got a free coffee at Pret recently and I really don't think the server fancied me - she was just being nice, and it totally made my day. I didn't even know it was a thing, but thinking back I'm sure she did say something about loyalty.

The best looking people I know are the ones who struggle to keep relationships going. Not a massive sample but they are either single or have had marriages break up

Having a pretty face makes life a lot easier yes. Attractive people are generally far more popular.

I agree it's true that life is easier for attractive people. It opens doors metaphorically (and sometimes literally), people are nicer to you and you just get more chances.
I have (I suspect though but formally not diagnosed) high functioning ASD. I am very socially awkward/anxious and find it hard to get to know people and make friends. I'm also (I am told) nice looking and that seems to have helped a lot and meant people are more willing to give me a try. I do wonder how I'd have got on in life if I wasn't pretty.
On the other hand I have managed to achieve a lot by forcing myself out of my comfort zone in social/academic/work situations. Maybe I'd have been even better at this if I hadn't had my looks to smooth the path. Who knows?