Priority seats on trains!!!!

[MarcelineTheVampire]

I was on a busy train this morning and an elderly disabled lady boarded the train, there were no seats and she was tentatively looking around, so I asked if anyone could let this lady sit down (I was stood up) - everyone looked away and a bloke actually said 'well, I'm playing cards so I can't- these young boys could get up'.

Another man did get up in the end but AIBU to expect common decency to remove yourself from a seat if a disabled person gets on the train? And playing cards isn't a valid reason not to get up? In addition he was a bit ageist in suggesting that the young boys could get up but he couldn't possibly?

Btw I didn't aim it at anyone in particular as some people may have really needed their seat but if it was me I would have been the first person to get up- maybe I have too high expectations.

Caseopia definitely playing cards, he had a pack in his hands.....

I fainted on a tube when I was 14 weeks pregnant due to low blood pressure and was laughed at by a morbidly obese "lady" who was in the priority seat. There are an awful lot of absolute arseclowns on public transport in the SE, that guy who thought that playing cards was an excuse not to give up a priority seat deserves a slap.

when I got the tube home after having an operation as soon as I shuffled on to the carriage a man leapt to his feet and gave me his seat. I was so grateful

There you go - Tortoise has also met a Very Important Man with his Just As Important Bag! They're fuckers, they really are

Weren't you close enough to jog his elbow so he dropped them, Marceline?

I dread to imagine what people do on the train I get. There are no priority seats as such, they are all at tables. I'm a size 10 and struggle to wiggle into them and then have no where for my legs to go. When I hurt my back I couldn't sit down in them. Pregnant, overweight, mobility issues would have no chance.

Just back from Prague and the attitude on the metro and trams was massively at odds to here. People jumping up to offer seats to anyone older than them, very young children travelling with adults (think it was a nursery group, they all squished on to two seats), pregnant women. Was refreshing to see.

Koala slightly O/T but many many years ago I was a teen on a packed bus when a heavily pregnant woman got on. I immediately offered her my seat. She refused as she said it was easier for her to stand. I asked her if she was sure and she again refused. God, the filthy looks I got from the other passengers - none of which offered her a seat funnily enough!

This is a priority card

I've often noticed elderly/disabled/pregnant people standing and usually would ask on their behalf if someone could give up a seat, and I don't think I've ever witnessed a situation where nobody would.

Not sure how I feel about strangers asking "on behalf" of someone to give up a seat.

Do you check with the elderly/disabled/pregnant person if they actually want you to do this first?

I would have offered - but some of the issue is if this was a packed commuter train with people on a long commute and sometimes paying literally thousands of pounds a year (my annual ticket is nearly 4.5k and I earn 23k), people simply feel entitled to a seat regardless. I'm not saying it's right, just that long, expensive commutes can make even the most decent person selfish at times.

We were on holiday in Japan and on a bus in Kyoto with loads of school kids on, all of them seated. A tiny elderly lady got on toting two big shopping bags and had to stand as the bus was full by then. I got up and motioned her to take my seat. She looked amazed but took it. Not one of the schoolchildren offered - or had even appeared to notice her, actually - and we were dumbfounded that they would be so impolite. Having commuted regularly in London we thought nowhere else could be quite so bad but....evidently it can

Don't get me started on the tossers who won't move their bags from the seats next to them.

Id be very grateful if someone did this on my behalf.
Somebody asking me first would be a faff, I'd rather they just got on with it.
Honestly, the op did something nice yet somebody can still find fault with it.

I was on a commuter train whilst heavily pregnant on a hot day and there were no seats, obviously as soon as I got on everyone was engrossed in newspapers, asleep etc. I started to feel faint towards the last couple of stops. A really nice lady who was also standing began chatting to me and asked if I felt okay. I then had a huge panic attack and fainted, the lady grabbed a teenage girl out of her seat for me shouting at the rest of the carriage that they ought to be ashamed of themselves. Obviously no-one reacted or even looked up. When I got to my stop the kind lady got off with me and called a first aider on the platform, helped me call DH to say I was coming home and to collect me at the other end and waited with me to put me back on the train in the opposite direction. I was so grateful to her I couldn't stop crying but i suspect that she would never have had to disrupt her morning like that in the first place had someone just had enough manners to ask even at the point that I felt unwell if I wanted to sit. Funnily enough, the girl who was yanked out of her seat always got on the same stop and carriage as me and NEVER once hesitated to offer me a seat again.

Maddie, people who need assistance can also pay thousands a year too. Did you think people who need assistance don't work or commute?

Id be very grateful if someone did this on my behalf.

Well, that's you, and that's fine. I would be ecstatic if someone did that for me.

But I work in the disability field and know quite few fragile-looking individuals who would have your fecking eye out if anyone dared to presume they needed someone else to do their talking for them!

Honestly, the op did something nice yet somebody can still find fault with it.

Calm doon, pet. I am merely ruminating.

I find this frustrating but sadly see it often. I was on a virgin train last month and there was an elderly man struggling to get on, he had a stick and a big bag, I too was struggling with luggage, a toddler and a pushchair but between us we got on and to our seats, whilst others just watched
Typically on the virgin trains there are unreserved disabled seats at the end of each carriage. So whoever was on these seats should have got up!

I'm pregnant (10weeks) and already finding standing on my commute hard due to nausea and dizziness, I dread to think how I'm going to feel once I'm bigger. I also pay thousands for my ticket, do I not have a right to a seat occasionally?

If someone seems to be struggling (for whatever reason) help them. Being overweight is different to being pregnant though as the weight is even distributed you don't have all the weight in front of you and also nausea and light headedness.

Flipper you may find that this is actually the worst bit of being pregnant.

or check this out

Very, I'm confused. You are ruminating. Am I not ruminating too? No need for the "calm down", it's designed to rile.

I also have extensive experience both personally and professionally in the disability field.

I'd rather be offended because someone offered to help and I didn't need it than because I needed it and no one offered.

I actually hate all these people with no manners now I would always be the first person up to give a seat to someone who needed it more. Though last week had a terrible experience I am pregnant and got on a busy train to work no one even moved an inch a few people looked at me and clearly saw I was pregnant after about five minutes started feeling really hot and dizzy had to sit on the floor as I felt I was going to faint again nobody even moved I was just sitting on the train floor pregnant and sick and just looked about like I hate people these days really put me in a rubbish mood the rest of the day!

elder - WTAF, people let a pregnant woman sit on the floor??

I am so shocked that people can be that selfish. I thought it was the most basic of courtesies that:

Pregnant women
People with disabilities
Elderly people

get offered seats.

When I was pregnant and standing on the tube, a young guy who was also standing asked me rather loudly if I'd like to sit down, which then prompted someone to offer a seat. I think that's quite a good way to deal with it, you're speaking to the person rather than for them,and I could have always said no thanks if I'd have been happy to stand.

When I was pg I learnt to ask for a seat - address your polite question to the whole carriage and see whom offers. It never failed. I learnt to ask after ending up sitting on the floor, crying with SPD, obviously pg, on a crowded Gatwick Express. Nobody offered any help. I hated everyone on that train.