Priority seats on trains!!!!

[MarcelineTheVampire]

I was on a busy train this morning and an elderly disabled lady boarded the train, there were no seats and she was tentatively looking around, so I asked if anyone could let this lady sit down (I was stood up) - everyone looked away and a bloke actually said 'well, I'm playing cards so I can't- these young boys could get up'.

Another man did get up in the end but AIBU to expect common decency to remove yourself from a seat if a disabled person gets on the train? And playing cards isn't a valid reason not to get up? In addition he was a bit ageist in suggesting that the young boys could get up but he couldn't possibly?

Btw I didn't aim it at anyone in particular as some people may have really needed their seat but if it was me I would have been the first person to get up- maybe I have too high expectations.

I was on a train for an hour and a half when 36 weeks pregnant and not one person gave up their seat for me, I ended up sitting on the floor in the aisle

What I would advise if you have a priority card is to ask a member of platform staff in assisting finding a priority seat once on board. I know of people doing this on Southern Trains. Once the staff member has shown you where they are, if they are all taken they will usually ask to check the priority cards of the people sitting there.

Yes, sure. Southern trains which are over booked and have dropped hundreds of services>

I've watched people in wheel chairs not get help of the train after previously alerting staff. No one gets any help. It's no work to not be a twat and help

My friend has a walking stick and never gets offered a seat on the tram. She has asked a few times but no longer will do so after some of the abuse she got.

The tram is that packed during rush hour the conductor can rarely get to you. Priority seating means nothing if its not enforced.

I had an asthma attack on a crowded bus and an ambulance was required - I wasn't even offered a seat whilst waiting for the ambulance and people were tutting about their journey being delayed

My local bus route clearly had smashing manners. I commuted daily until I was 39 weeks pregnant. I never had to stand once or indeed ask for a seat

I am bolshy though - I have moved bags from seats before and sat on one belonging to a man who refused to move it

I've had a reserved seat whilst 5 months pregnant and I still had to argue with the mother of the teenage girl sitting in it to get it (to be fair to the girl she was motioning to get up before her mum waded in) I took my coat off and everyone was then wide eyed realising she'd just argued with a pregnant woman and none of them had backed me up

I do think we need to be careful when assuming everyone who is sat down but looks OK isn't actually disabled. My Dad, for instance, isn't "old" but he has arthritis and would be fucked for the day if he had to spend his whole journey standing. He'd stand up, mortified, if someone asked. Lucky for him he has a gobby daughter to tell them to get fucked.

Oh my friend once asked a double amputee to stand as he was in her reserved seat. Horrified when she realised!

I have to admit I'm not particularly quick to jump up and offer my seat on the local buses (unless in the wheelchair spot and wheelchair/buggy gets on), but unfortunately in my area that still means I'm the first to offer mine up anyway.
This is normally because I have my big headphones on and am not paying attention. And because of my joint condition standing can bloody hurt, and my sensory problems make some commutes horrible. But I'd still rather suffer than let someone else suffer.
Can't believe pregnant women are being left to sit on the floor!

YANBU. Though if all trains ran as schedule and with the right capacity this would happen less often. I hate to think what happens if a person in need of a seat boards one of the few Southern trains running next week.

How old is old enough to be offered a place on public transport?

Just wondering - Mum (83) and I (61) travelled on the tram. I didn't expect a seat to be given up for me but was surprised when many young men and women stayed seated while my mother stood. Some of them may have had hidden disabilities but I shouldn't think all of them did. I didn't like to ask anyone as she would have been mortified. After a few stops people got off and then she could sit down - so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

He'd stand up, mortified, if someone asked. Lucky for him he has a gobby daughter to tell them to get fucked.

I have no idea why people don't just ask

I'm amazed at some of these stories. I don't commute regularly, but maybe once every other week, sometimes once a week, since I've been pregnant have had to commute into London and then use the tube. Ever since I was about 5 months pregnant (I'm now 8 months) I have had to stand only once, for one stop of the tube, because it was too crowded for people to see me. My experience is that people half way across the carriage leap up to offer me their seat. I am naturally pretty tiny and was obviously pregnant from quite early on, I'm also not averse to the odd death stare and would ask if I had to, but really never have had to. I'm amazed how different people's experiences can be.

Baps people choose people who they have decided should move. It's not their place to decide. My priority is my father's health. You don't pick out one person who you have decided is less worthy than you.

From my experience commuting by train, the more packed the train the less likely people are to be aware and respectful of other people around them. There's something about being crammed into a sweaty metal box. It's deeply unpleasant and people just shut down and switch off. I've been elbowed, hit with bags, pushed aside, seen old ladies ignored, wow the rudeness. I'm not excusing it, I'm saying that commuter trains are desperately overcrowded and it's not passengers' fault when we are the ones paying thousands of pounds a year to be squashed into a metal can I am pregnant and often sit on the floor because I am too exhausted to stand and can't be bothered to deal with the horribleness of people turning a blind eye. I have also seen disabled people and families being helped by strangers btw, it's not all bad. I think if the trains were not so overcrowded then people would treat one another with much greater respect.

Hunter I didn't aim my query at one particular person for that very reason, I have no idea if they have hidden disabilities - I appealed to the good nature of people by addressing the carriage.

My dn is diabetic and i suffer from bowel problems and if i stand for too long i have to go to the toilet. Me and dn were on a train yesterday and we sat on the priority seats. We both look healthy but we arent. We were on a two hour train journey and we hadnt eaten in about four hours. Id say that we were entitled to those seats but to look at us you would think we were two 'normal' people.

My boys regularly end up sharing a seat because I've turfed one of them out of their seat for someone more needy (I usually refuse to allow both of them to stand as two small children standing on a train or bus causes more hassle than it solves, and other people are perfectly capable of standing too)
You do know that children under five years of age who are travelling free may only occupy a seat which is not required by a fare-paying passenger, so if someone wants to sit where your kids are you are supposed to move them.

It's no work to not be a twat and help
OK sorry I have just shared some advice from two people who regularly travel on Southern Trains and you have decided to be rude.

If there are special priority seats that people are entitled to sit in and they choose not to ask people who are not entitled to sit there to move then I am sorry but I am not moving so they can sit in my seat.

It's no work to not be a twat and help
OK sorry I have just shared some advice from two people who regularly travel on Southern Trains and you have decided to be rude.

If there are special priority seats that people are entitled to sit in and they choose not to ask people who are not entitled to sit there to move then I am sorry but I am not moving so they can sit in my seat.

I'm overweight, and I've been pregnant, and there's no comparison. Being heavily pregnant is just so damn uncomfortable.

I, too have just sat down - I remember early in my first pregnancy a train stopping at a signal for a ridiculously long amount of time, packed, new, so non-opening windows, and no-aircon because it was too soon in the year. I started feeling very dizzy, so I just sat down - not enough room for it, but it was that or fall (and I told that to the slightly shocked people who I barged a bit on the way down.

MarcelineTheVampire my second comment was in response to Baps it is a subject close to my heart. Too many times have I seen him struggle due to things like this.

I commute into London on a busy commuter route every so often. When I was heavily pregnant with twins I'd get on the train at a stop by which point no seats would be left and could literally see everyone's papers, kindles, whatever suddenly become so much more interesting. I never got offered a seat and daren't stray too far from the doorway as it had the wall I could lean on and poles to hold onto. The only time I've been offered a seat was this spring travelling out of London with my mum, DTs at home and 2.5 by this point, two business men kindly leapt up to offer me a seat, I was too embarrassed to say I wasn't actually pregnant and sat down This has spurred me on to lose 3 stone, those men did me a huge favour that day, though not quite in the way they thought.

Id say that we were entitled to those seats but to look at us you would think we were two 'normal' people
But if you had your priority seats card you could have proved it straight away.

Worrying about hidden disabilities is such a red herring. Very few people (comparative to the population as a whole) have one and the issue of happening to ask the one person in the carriage who does can be avoided by making a general enquiry/everyone looking out for those who look like they need seats. If people were more willing to ask and people paid more attention so they were ready to give, the issue would not often arise. Even in rush hour there can't possibly be whole carriage loads of people who all need seats.