To think there's no point going on holiday with a baby?

[DrAston]

My husband has a few days off work coming up soon (I work at a university so have the summer off) and he wants to go away somewhere. We can't afford to go abroad with it being the summer hols so he has booked a hotel in the UK for a few nights. We have a daughter who just turned one and I just don't see the point in going away. It's not like she's going to decide to sleep in till 8 each morning while we're away and when she goes to bed we'll just be sat in the dark trying not to make any noise from 7pm. My husband is not particularly (in fact 'at all') hands-on with our daughter so I'll just be doing everything I do at home but in a small room instead. It's not even likely to be good weather where we're going (I should know-I grew up there!). Do people really enjoy holidays with babies? Aren't you just doing the same stuff you do everyday but paying a lot for the privilege of doing it somewhere else?

We've just come back from a short break in Cornwall with seven month old. I was very worried but he was an absolute dream and even slept well in the travel cot.

Life's all about experiences. Your baby won't remember the trip but will have experienced a holiday in a different setting and had a whole new set of experiences. The few days away will hopefully be lovely and enjoyable whatever the bumps along the road.

We never did the hotel thing until DD was 5 and then all inclusive. If you don't like the idea of this hotel, maybe cancel if you are able and book a few days in a caravan or something. We dipped dds feet in the sea aged just 6 weeks, went to Holland in a Center Parks when she was around 11 months. Such happy memories and memories to pass to her of how much we loved having her around to share in them.

Please get your dh on board with helping out, this doesn't have to be a chore. It's not necessary to feel anxious and negative about a break from normal life.

I think we've been abroad at least 8 times since DS (4 years old) was born.

In those times the only bad experiences we've had is when the plane was taking off and DS was screaming for 15 minutes until the seat belt sign went off and I could hold him in a different position and he promptly fell asleep! That was an awful 15 minutes but overall worth it to visit Japan! The other bad experience could have happened anywhere, but DH bought a huge bag of crisps and DS aged 2 had the most enormous tantrum because we didn't let him eat all of the crisps...very embarrassing! We learnt to buy single size packets of crisps so DS could see the packet was finished and "all gone"!

I think if you are on holiday with children you just have to be flexible, for instance we have eaten our main meals at lunchtime and had takeaway pizza for dinner in the hotel room!

My take on it is that children live in every country and city, of their parents can manage I'm sure we can!

I love going on holiday with DS (4) and DD (18 months).

DS is 18 months and has stayed in some pretty swanky hotels with us for a few days at a time. We choose small hotels with great restaurants and where we can be allocated a room where our baby monitor will work and we can return quickly should a problem arise.

We put DS to bed, have a drink, eat a nice meal and then head to bed c11 having had proper adult time which we rarely get at home.

We have found good hotels to be very welcoming to all of us.

I've always loved going away with the kids, even back when they were babies, but I do agree it's a busman's holiday. They still want fed throughout the day, they still need supervised and helped with everything, they still cram your brain with their constant needs. You don't get a break from being a parent.

My enthusiasm for a change of scene outweighs the drudge of doing all the same shit you do at home but in a different place though. We relax the usual routines on holiday and take everything at a far less structured pace. I relish our family holidays and always have. It's good to have a different view of the world outside your window or tent door at 6am while you're trying to silence your unsettled baby in a confined space.

Yes it's same shit, different place...but might as well?

I certainly don't think it's worth going overseas with babies and toddlers. We spent quite a few holidays in Scotland when our ds was tiny, staying in various B&Bs including one we knew well where the guest lounge was next to the bedroom so we could leave him sleep while we had a glass of wine (or whisky) in the lounge.

The most unsuccessful trip was where we self-catered. But that probably had nothing to do with the self-catering per se, and more to do with the fact that ds was about 10 months which wasn't a very easy age, and he was sick, and we got sick, and the people who ran the cottage weren't that friendly so all in all it wasn't terribly enjoyable.

We went abroad when ds was 1 to stay with friends in Germany and to Northern Ireland when he was 2, again in a B&B. We didn't go abroad properly until he was 4, when we went to Croatia and we did self-cater there. But generally we've looked for B&Bs with guest lounges and one had an alcove in the room where we could sit with a glass of wine and look out of the window at the sea while ds was asleep (on Bute in Scotland). But it's not always been that easy to find B&Bs that were (a) nice, (b) took children (c) had a guest lounge.

Funny. I totally disagree that it's not worth going overseas with babies and toddlers. In fact, I'd be inclined to say the opposite - that there is not much point doing anything that isn't different, interesting and memorable enough to be worth the trouble. If I stayed in the UK and just tried to enjoy a bit of peace and relaxation with one of my babies (when they were that age) then I would most likely have just ended up disappointed and yes I probably might as well have stayed at home. Whereas exploring Naples/Capri/Pompei with a 9 month year old, or doing a trip round the Norwegian Coast/Bergen/scenic train/ferry on Fjords/Stockholm with a 13 month year old were brilliant, stunning trips with or without a little one in tow (and also pregnant in both cases). They didn't always run smoothly, but the high points were worth the low points. All this obsession about how you spend your evenings with a baby - well if the days are interesting enough, it doesn't matter (and you can enjoy and early night!).

Similarly, as the children have got older, we've generally done trips that are more aimed at their interests, but there is nothing worse than planning a family-friendly-not-my-first-choice trip and they are still a pain. Whereas when we took them round Japan at age 5 and 6 we had our inevitable "moments" but I could forgive them because the trip was what I wanted to do (and it was fascinating) and it would be unreasonable to expect them to be perfectly happy all of the time. My worst holiday with the children was a perfectly nice, family-friendly cottage in Devon. In the rain. Dull dull dull.

I don't understand why OP's husband wanted to have children if he doesn't think going on holiday with a baby will be "fun". After re reading the original post and all the messages I still think he sounds petulant and resentful of the baby's needs, which leads me to question how grown up he is...Of course it's hard work having a baby, but there are plenty of people who are infertile who would give their right arm and leg to go on holiday with a baby!

There are also people who can't afford a holiday at all because of money woes, so I think OP's husband needs to buck up, shut up and learn to appreciate the good things in life. A baby is a blessing and so is having the money to go on holiday even if it is in this country! Having just come back from Wales after having a holiday with my 16 year old plus my Dad and my husband I really appreciate having had that break from the norm, different scenery. Especially as I have friends who can't afford to go on holiday at all and would even struggle to afford a day out. It really puts things in perspective.

Sometimes people are too busy looking on facebook at what other's are doing, seeing that they seem to be having more "fun" and they forget to be happy with the blessings they have in their own life. The grass isn't greener, people edit what they put on social media. When we are appreciate the good things in life, that is happiness. Taking time to smell the roses is good. As a Mum of teenagers I can tell you, babies are not babies for long and children grow quickly. If OP's husband thinks going on holiday with a baby won't be "fun", what will he think of going on holiday with a teenager?!! But then again, some people are never happy!

Oh YANBU. It's only in the last year or so that holidays have become fun - dc are nearly 9 and 5 now. We try to avoid hotels where we're all in one room so do our homework. We're currently in a nice caravan (call me a snob but I only ever book top of the range) with two bedrooms and a separate living room: it's really the only way to go!

That said, we go away either in the UK or abroad twice a year (typically a main two week summer holiday and maybe a weekend somewhere) and have done since they were months old. Our best holiday was actually Canada when dd1 was under 2 including a drive through the Rockies.

I don't think there's any point being with someone who isn't "at all hands on" with his own child.

Bigger issues than a night in a hotel here...

Magenta I think it's the op that doesn't want to go not her husband.

Although the fact that he doesn't do his share isn't helping her to want to go.

I totally disagree about making it worthwhile by going to places you really want to go to. All that means for us is we get a frustrating glimpse at things we'd love to do but can't and it feels worse than not seeing it at all. We love eating out, but can't with the dc so it is a miserable experience and better to not have our faces in all the things we can't do.

If early nights and fun days were an option then yes I'd go. But as it is it's miserable exhausting days and kids who won't sleep till midnight or even 2am whole they rampage around the place. Being in a great location isn't worth that as we can't enjoy it at all.

Y'all need Villas 4 Kids www.villas4kids.com. I have been 4 times - ace.

Sorry notmrs I have to disagree. We had one holiday to Cyprus with them, it was pretty abysmal.
Villa dirty, especially the outside. Hardly any toys until the last 3 days of the holiday when they brought more (we complained). The "pool fencing" was totally unsafe and fenced off an area 1m/1m. All the rest of the area was open for my 2 year old son to fall in.
We got a partial refund, it was that bad even Chris couldn't argue.
Avoid avoid avoid.
Would recommend Villaplus for excellent baby friendly villas- yes no toys but proper pool fencing, lots are one storey etc. for the incredible price hikes of villas4kids you could buy a load of toys at the hypermarket and leave behind.

Our oldest especially was always great sat in a highchair, trying different foods. Got great memories of eating out in Italy especially. At lunch time, not dinner. Took a large part of the day.

Put her on a beach in the sun however? Disaster!

You do what works for you - it won't be the same for everyone.

But I maintain that for us it had to be interesting as it was never going to be restful. Different once they get older and can run off and entertain themselves while you sit quietly with a book. Dragging moaning tweens round the sights can be much harder than a toddler in a pushchair.

But if you want a really child friendly holiday, can I suggest Villa Pia in Tuscany? That was one of the most properly relaxing holidays that we did. Great set up for small children provided you are willing to be a bit sociable.

www.villapia.com/

Oh what a shame chrisinthemorning - we went to one of their Cyprus places too and have always had a great time which is why we have been back so many times!

I have always intended to try Villa Pia irregular - friends of mine went and raved but think it was £££.

We camped with our three children first in a small tent with a four month old, then we had a camper van with an awning for older two and finally a great big trailer tent which seemed luxurious. All three are now grown up but still talk about things that happened - both good and bad. Last week I took my 4 yr old GS on hols for 5 days. Was brilliant - yes it was tiring, no I didn't get a lie-in but he had a great time (and I had gin for when he had gone to bed). Hopefully the start of good memories for him