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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there's no point going on holiday with a baby?

193 replies

DrAston · 02/08/2016 10:21

My husband has a few days off work coming up soon (I work at a university so have the summer off) and he wants to go away somewhere. We can't afford to go abroad with it being the summer hols so he has booked a hotel in the UK for a few nights. We have a daughter who just turned one and I just don't see the point in going away. It's not like she's going to decide to sleep in till 8 each morning while we're away and when she goes to bed we'll just be sat in the dark trying not to make any noise from 7pm. My husband is not particularly (in fact 'at all') hands-on with our daughter so I'll just be doing everything I do at home but in a small room instead. It's not even likely to be good weather where we're going (I should know-I grew up there!). Do people really enjoy holidays with babies? Aren't you just doing the same stuff you do everyday but paying a lot for the privilege of doing it somewhere else?

OP posts:
Weddingsahoy · 02/08/2016 19:00

I am incredibly envious of pp who could just take their babies out for the evening. DD would be a screaming mess and get really overtired, then refuse to sleep.

beenaroundawhile · 02/08/2016 19:03

Another suggestion - put the cot in the bathroom Grin

In all honesty I would recommend the following if you absolutely have to go away to a hotel:

  1. don't do it for more than a few nights (even a week is too long, you will come back more tired than when you left)

  2. make sure there is another area for you to sit together and have a drink / room service. Bonus if it's a balcony with lovely evening air and a nice view

  3. Do Give each other total time out, a half day each away a couple of times (whether he is hands on or not), otherwise it's easy to suddenly find that there are two pairs of hands doing the work one would normally do alone and you both get exhausted

  4. Quite agree with a PP, it doesn't depend on how you are, it depends on how your kids are . We had wonderful holidays with DS1 before he was 2. Then DD came along and I can't envisage us ever having a nice holiday again Confused

WeeM · 02/08/2016 19:10

Get yourself a snooze shade for the buggy. They are great-we used to put dd to bed in that, pull it over and then went out for a drink. Then when we came back just transferred her to cot. It was great, although I get this may not work for every child!

dingalong · 02/08/2016 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

evilharpy · 02/08/2016 19:16

So jealous of all the people whose babies sleep in prams or slings. My 20 month old refused to sleep in a pram or sling or on me or in the car or anywhere else but her cot in a completely dark room on her own since she was about 8 weeks old. Her bedtime is 7pm and this is her choice and we are not allowed to change this. We tried bringing her to a wedding once and she lasted till 9pm before we had to give in and bring her home. Oh, and the more tired she gets the more she screams but she will never, ever fall asleep till she's home in her own bed. We had a caravan holiday a while ago which was fine as she could go to bed at 7 and we could watch telly and drink.

OP, no way I'd put up with this. It's not a holiday for you.

blueskywithclouds · 02/08/2016 19:21

We went to center parcs with a 1yr old. My expectations were extremely low because we had a baby but we had a lovely time! We stuck with her routine but it was lovely to have a change of scene! It depends on the baby too, ours was happy to buggy nap and is very easy going at the moment.
I think the trick is to accept it isn't a holiday in the sense of before you had children.

WeeM · 02/08/2016 19:23

I hasten to add we have also had stays away where we have sat in the dark watching a movie on laptop with the earphones and a glass of wine-I kind of enjoyed it though!

DeadGood · 02/08/2016 19:24

"My husband is not particularly (in fact 'at all') hands-on with our daughter so I'll just be doing everything I do at home but in a small room instead."

I know this isn't the point of your post OP but I find this really depressing - is there something wrong with your husband?

Writerwannabe83 · 02/08/2016 19:25

I 100% agree OP.

We went abroad when DS was 13 months and it was not a holiday at all. It was just the same stress and troubles as we have at home (and new holiday induced ones) and we'd pay £2'000 for the "pleasure".

It was nice having some sunshine but it absolutely was not a relaxing holiday Grin

DeadGood · 02/08/2016 19:26

"We downloaded some movies onto a tablet and watched them in bed with one headphone each"

Sad Also a bit depressing! You can get headphone splitters.

BumWad · 02/08/2016 19:31

I agree
It was bloody hard work taking our 14 month old DS away a few weeks ago. That was in a chalet with 2 bedrooms. I couldn't bear a hotel! I much would have preferred to stay at home and gone on days put instead and saved the £500.

MarklahMarklah · 02/08/2016 19:32

We've booked inexpensive self-catering using ownersdirect - you cut out the middle man and save a reasonable amount.
I've done camping holidays and short breaks with DD since she was 6 months old, and she's now 5. She still doesn't sleep! :)

Chrisinthemorning · 02/08/2016 19:37

We had lovely holidays with our son- one is an easy age because they nap a lot and will conk out in the pushchair. It gets harder 18 months to 3 ish then gets easier again.

Babyzoo · 02/08/2016 19:40

It does depend on the baby. My ds2 isn't the easiest baby but his sleeping has got a lot better which made everything easier. He doesn't have long naps in the pram or car though. He's quite a light sleeper too.

Ds1 was the baby that would snooze anywhere through any noise.

We've still done the lying in the dark hoping they'll go to sleep, I think that's inevitable if you're sharing a room.

Tallulahoola · 02/08/2016 19:43

As others say just put them in the pram and they'll sleep while you go out.

hahahahahahahaha no (not in my experience anyway)

My theory about this is that you have to go somewhere bloody fantastic. That way, even if having a baby with you is ruining your fun (ands it will to some extent) you are still staying somewhere you love, eating in great restaurants, looking at beautiful views, whatever. We did this the year that someone else paid
Grin But if you're staying somewhere that isn't that great then you'll just feel, like you say, as if it's not any better than being at home.

I do think 12 months is a tricky age as well because they're mobile but can't in any way amuse themselves without crawling/toddling towards danger.

A balcony/terrace would solve the problem of having to sit in silence. The other thing we did for our sanity was to split our time with DD sometimes. So one person took her to the pool/played with her while the other got a couple of hours relaxation. Not ideal but it does give you each some precious time to yourself.

rollonthesummer · 02/08/2016 19:44

I wouldn't go to a hotel with a child that age, no. Our first son was a nightmare sleeper and I recall vividly staying in a hotel for a friend's wedding where he screamed all night and DH ended up driving through the streets of Cumbria with him at 2am to try to get him to go to sleep Blush.

We had another awful holiday where we had a lovely cottage in the middle of nowhere for a week. It would have been fine but he screamed continually and this cottage was sandwiched in the middle of three other cottages-all containing holiday makers wanting peace and quiet! We left after 3 nights of hell!

Get a small inexpensive (remote!) self-catering place where you can put DC to bed and sit in a room together without having to whisper for fear of waking them up!

museumum · 02/08/2016 19:47

A holiday is an opportunity for your Dh to become "hands on" as you put it - or another way to put is us "do his fucking share of parenting"

There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be sharing the childcare 50/50 on this break. Use it to get your Dh to man up and develop a relationship with his baby.

Babyzoo · 02/08/2016 19:49

This thread is a bit depressing.

We've had all sorts of naff holidays. Our first with ds1 was to Aberystwyth (dhs idea), There was bugger all there, but we found a beach in another town, a nice farm and took the train up constitution hill. We've been to Devon when it's rained non stop and we've had to just find things to do. Always staying in Premier Inn type places.

Once we went to London and paid for an expensive afternoon tea, we got lost finding the hotel and got drenched.

They did have there stresses but they're all memories, I could just look at it like we wasted our money but I try to look on the bright side.

PenelopeChipShop · 02/08/2016 19:54

Yes absolutely what museum mum says!! Take it in turns to get up with her/ do bedtimes etc and you might actually get more of a rest than you do at home!

But just to reassure you, it won't always be like this. You're at the worst age in terms of needing to be 'on' all the time. Mine are now 4 years and 4 months. We're going to Cornwall this week and I'm really looking forward to it - oldest can do almost everything we can now, plus will sit in a restaurant like a reasonable human being (if plied with snacks but hey) and little one is young enough to just go along with our plans.

I am well aware that next year's holiday will be different!

A change might be nice but just have low expectations of your LO and higher ones of your DH!!

user1466690252 · 02/08/2016 19:56

I will never ever do all in one room again. Never, makes me shudder thinking of it!

Oly5 · 02/08/2016 20:05

Just don't do normal bedtimes and all will be fine! We've always holidays with our kids and we just abandon the 7pm bedtime, let them nap at 5pm if they want and then stay up late... Or let them sleep in the pushchair while we eat. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed they will be.
Otherwise self cater and enjoy a few beers in the living room/garden while they sleep

TheSconeOfStone · 02/08/2016 20:21

We had planned to be very relaxed go with the flow parents but the DC didn't cooperate. It's hard enough getting them to sleep in their own beds, especially DD1 who has ASD. They didn't sleep on planes, in cars or in pushchairs. Overtired toddlers who can't sleep don't make for a fun holiday. Doesn't matter how you plan things the DC dictate how things will go. We mainly camp now. It's cheap, we're abroad, kids run themselves ragged with other kids then eventually collapse. Me and DH drink cheap wine.

Karlakitten1 · 02/08/2016 20:30

Currently on holiday with my 8 month old DD. 2nd holiday we have taken her on and we really enjoy it. We just relax/read/ watch tv when she is asleep. Could you not book a holiday cottage or something, then she is in a seperate room to you/you will have a seperate area to relax in when she is asleep. It's nice to be away and have a few meals out, see some sights and just spend time playing etc, instead of fretting about housework etc. My HB doesn't do much at home, but really steps up with DD on holiday.

FramptonRose · 02/08/2016 20:45

Currently away with our 3 DCs visiting family in Ireland, we are in a self catering apartment.
Personally I do not like staying in hotels with the children when we are in the UK or visiting Ireland, I am fine abroad as the children are in pools all day, it's warm then the children are up later at the hotel evening entertainment.

This is much easier, mine are all asleep in one room, we are watching a film then will be going off to sleep in our room when we are ready.

Boiing · 02/08/2016 21:29

Get a self catering if you can (airbnb?) being in one room is rubbish. And take black out blinds (or aluminium foil and masking tape) to keep out sun. We just had a few (pointless) days away and every night my poor son couldn't sleep until 9.30 and then woke at 4.45 as the sun came up and stabbed through the hotel curtain. To be honest I agree not much point unless you're desperate for a change of scenery.