To think there's no point going on holiday with a baby?

[DrAston]

My husband has a few days off work coming up soon (I work at a university so have the summer off) and he wants to go away somewhere. We can't afford to go abroad with it being the summer hols so he has booked a hotel in the UK for a few nights. We have a daughter who just turned one and I just don't see the point in going away. It's not like she's going to decide to sleep in till 8 each morning while we're away and when she goes to bed we'll just be sat in the dark trying not to make any noise from 7pm. My husband is not particularly (in fact 'at all') hands-on with our daughter so I'll just be doing everything I do at home but in a small room instead. It's not even likely to be good weather where we're going (I should know-I grew up there!). Do people really enjoy holidays with babies? Aren't you just doing the same stuff you do everyday but paying a lot for the privilege of doing it somewhere else?

We get hotels with executive lounges and take some toys in for the baby whilst we just relax and have a couple of drinks. Or we book a suite (quite affordable at a high street hotels) and have a seating area where we watch a film or something. We go out during the day and incorporate some child friendly activities into our day.

Be prepared for early nights.
Hope you got somewhere with a decent bathroom. I used it sit in the bath, DH on the toilet, gin and tonic, a bit of a laugh about the unspoken side of parenting, a quicky over the sink, early bed.
We did have 3 under 5.
Self catering is generally much more relaxed.

"Depends on how you do things"

No. It depends on what your baby is like.

OP: only you know how easily/flexibly your child sleeps and thats the key.
No one can 'make' their baby sleep more easily/flexibly (though its easy to be duped into thinking wonderful parenting has bestowed fabulous sleep habits...until a second baby comes along to prove you wrong...).

We have had lovely holidays with babies, but they have involved some or all of the following:

• separate sleeping room for baby
• lots of baby kit and facilities provided
• catering (ie restaurant) available, so we didn't have to cook
• daily maid service
• if self catering, grandparents coming too to share the load
• lots of other parents as guests hence understanding of early mornings and crying

I do not have babies who will "just nod off in the pram" or "fall asleep on the bed between us while we watch TV". DD1 is a grade A sleep resister so will not sleep if there is anything at all fun going on in the same room. DD2 is a light sleeper and has frequent colds which wake her up all bloody night. No way would sleeping in the same room as them be a holiday.

A lot depends on your baby OP. (And your DH - but that's another thread).

I've done it with both of mine.

We've just got back from a UK holiday with my 13 month old and 8 year old, we stayed in a Premier Inn in Cornwall, I had a wonderful time. The weather wasn't brilliant but we ate out, had fish and chips on the seafront, went on the beach, visited a farm, did a bit of shopping.

It is definitely harder work with a baby, luckily he's sleeping well now, we ended up staying up late and he actually slept in longer than he ever has before. Dh does his fair share and I carried the baby in the sling on the beach and stuff.

We did an overnight theme park when he was 10 months too and he slept in the bed with us and we just watched TV quietly.

I also did it wth ds1 when he was about 16 months, again we had a wonderful time, we found things he enjoyed like beaches, little rides and bouncy castles.

It's absolutely not relaxing like it is pre children but personally I just enjoy a change of scenery and not having to cook for a few days. There's always things to do even for babies and my dc have always kind of grown up a bit after holidays in a way.

I've missed a few pages but have to say what jumps out at me is the idea that your husband isn't 'hands on' as you say.
If that's the case then a holiday won't be as much fun as it should be.
Surely these days both parents should be pitching in so that you get some leisure time home or away?

Loved the link pro very funny

leave h in room with baby go to spa and bar. simples. good chance for him to be hands on.

leave h in local park go meet your friends. lovely bonding time for him.

dont do everything . allow him to be hands on by leaving him with baby.

Btw we were sceptical as ds never slept well as a young baby and refused his travel cot, but we ended up wishing we'd booked more days.

I do think that you need to have low expectations and plan things well like leaving early so you don't get stuck in traffic.

Yep, low expectations are the key. We went to eurocamp anticipating misery and were pleasantly surprised at getting a few hours peace here and there. We ditched the day trips that involve anything over 20mins in the car (as that would mean naps and defo no bed till midnight) and took my parents who helped wrangle and heard around the pool. We had bbqs most nights as the French aren't very tolerant about my children in restaurants and got one child free night out where gps watched them. We booked somewhere near so we could get s ferry home and be back within 4hrs. As I said it was the best holiday we have ever had! The days of city breaks and art galleries are very much on hold for us. But we travelled loads pre dc, so it's no real hardship, a rest would be nice. But if you want a rest you don't have 3dc in 4 years! So we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Oh dear, there was meant to be paragraphs in there. Apols.

Sorry mrskoala but it's hours later and I'm still howling with laughter over THE STEP

I never saw the point to be honest, i stuck to visiting family where at least the place came with built in helping hands (mum would get the kids up and we got to lie in until 8am)

I guess everyone's different and all dc are different.

I've known loads of people go away abroad with a newborn, that's my idea of hell for various reasons.

I absolutely hate visiting people with a toddler, they always have loads of ornaments and other breakables in reach and I spend the entire visit chasing the toddler around. Holidays are a walk in the park compared to that.

Don't see the point in it either, much easier at home for baby stuff and children don't have any memory of places until school aged.

We took our 9 month old to Australia and New Zealand, but she was good at sleeping through and once asleep wasn't easily woken so we could still watch telly in the room etc.

To be honest op there's no such thing as a restful holiday with kids until they can be responsible for their own safety around 12!

What a load of tosh!

I think it depends what you want from a holiday. If you want a break and a rest, like holidays were like pre-DC, then it's not going to happen and you'll come back disappointed.

If you are going to get away and have some fun, doing things with your DC that you haven't done before, then you can have a great time.

Both our DC have regularly stayed in hotel rooms with us from about 6 months old. We spent years doing the 'sitting in the dark quietly whilst they go to sleep' thing.

We mastered the use of ensuite bathrooms - he sits on the toilet with the seat down messing about on his laptop or with a book. I'm short so I put towels down in the bath and lay in the bath with a book. We open a bottle of wine and spend the evening in the bathroom. It's become a routine I almost look forward to now!! They would still wake us early and we'd be just as tired on holiday as we were at home but we were away and having fun so we didn't care.

The DC are 6/7yrs now and we have more ££ than we did, we have occasionally pay extra to get 2 rooms or a family suite but to be honest I'd rather cram in one room and spend the extra cash on doing exciting things. They still wake us at ridiculous o'clock each morning and we still sit in the hotel room each evening, but it's worth it.

Sometimes one of us will go out in the evening for a walk around wherever we are, the next night the other one might go for a wander. I think you just have to decide to make it work.

OP it sounds as if it's booked so I would look at what needs to happen to enjoy the break, even if it's not what you'd describe as a holiday.

Be honest with DP about what you expect and how it could work - he needs to be more 'hands on'. Could you both get a little bit of free time while you are away even if it's just an hour to sit with a glass of wine and read a book whilst the other parent takes DD for a walk?

Where are you staying? Have a plan of places to visit, local attractions, nice places that you can go for lunch. Swap mealtimes around and go out for lunch and bring an M&S picnic back to the room one evening.

Pestilence made me laugh.. "I used it sit in the bath, DH on the toilet, gin and tonic, a bit of a laugh about the unspoken side of parenting," It can be funny if you're both in it together. Once DD is asleep can you put a lamp on, order room service and watch a film?

DS would never sleep in a pushchair (far too nosey) and was much nicer if we kept some semblance of a routine but there are ways to enjoy the time away as a family.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine
Don't see the point in it either, much easier at home for baby stuff and children don't have any memory of places until school aged.

I think this assumes that the holidays are only worthwhile if the children will remember them. Our family holidays are for us all to have fun together, quality time away from normal life and also for DH and I to build our own memories of the DC too.

It's fine if my DC don't remember Vancouver when they are adults, I remember them there and I had the joy of taking them. They were 2 and 4 when we went and they can both still tell me stories of things we did there. We have photos and DH and I enjoy looking through them.

I also think that taking them to see different places and cultures as they grow helps teach them about the world and how people are different but we are all world citizens. Those lessons stay with them even if memories of young holidays might fade as they get older.

MrsKoala, we moved onto eurocamp after many years of taking our own tent abroad. On the whole we found campsites very child friendly. As DCs got older we were able to give small freedoms to them: go to the ice cream counter with us sat at a table near by lead onto going on their own which lead onto them going to the playground ahead of us then on their own then to the pool on their own.

PanicHitsEarlyForMe your post resonates with me. The DCs dont remember the castles, standing stones, tourist trains but our holiday photographs and tales have slipped into family folklore. A kind of collective memory.

PanicHitsEarly totally agree, my dc don't remember their first holidays but I will never forget ds1 babbling with joy toddling around on the beach for the first time. We have photos to remember and to show him when he grows up.

Some of it was stressful at the time but we laugh about it now and only remember the nice bits.

As long as it's dinner bed & breakfast I don't mind. It's a change of scene. We go to a family hotel & get a room that is one door into two sleeping spaces connected by the bathroom so kids are away from us but still in the same space,

We downloaded some movies onto a tablet and watched them in bed with one headphone each (and a g&t each). It's not ideal but it's not forever, soon you'll have kids who don't go to bed until you do, then you never get to watch Walking Dead unless you stay up til midnight.