To think there's no point going on holiday with a baby?

[DrAston]

My husband has a few days off work coming up soon (I work at a university so have the summer off) and he wants to go away somewhere. We can't afford to go abroad with it being the summer hols so he has booked a hotel in the UK for a few nights. We have a daughter who just turned one and I just don't see the point in going away. It's not like she's going to decide to sleep in till 8 each morning while we're away and when she goes to bed we'll just be sat in the dark trying not to make any noise from 7pm. My husband is not particularly (in fact 'at all') hands-on with our daughter so I'll just be doing everything I do at home but in a small room instead. It's not even likely to be good weather where we're going (I should know-I grew up there!). Do people really enjoy holidays with babies? Aren't you just doing the same stuff you do everyday but paying a lot for the privilege of doing it somewhere else?

There's a reason a lot of people discover camping and or self catering with babies.

TBH there was a massive silver lining in going on our honeymoon with 4 month old ds (static caravan) - dh finally had a wake up call over how much fucking work I was doing looking after ds.

Go for it. Tell your DH Nows the chance for him to be more hands on. Plan nice days out. Put baby in bugy at night and go out for meal. We've alway travelled with DS and now he's so used to it. Don't sit in a dark room. Dim the lights and take bottle of wine. Unfortunately this country is not child friendly so many places don't let you take a kid in after 9. But ull still have fun being away from home together as a family without chores like washing cleaning etc. babies are c potable. We've travelled to Europe, usa and caribbean. We've dine city breaks, beach breaks, hotel and self catering. It's what you make of it

We've been all over with ours, and I remember great times on hols , yet there are lots of pics of me looking busy, or a bit tense and always alert. You certainly don't get to switch off!

It is awkward but doable. When ours was 13 mo we managed a holiday and put him to sleep in the buggy while we went for dinner.

We had a baby monitor with a very good range or used the hotel's baby listening service. We put the baby/ies to bed and went to the hotel restaurant. It is still worth going on holiday.

Self catering or a balcony/suite is v helpful, I think. Last 2 New Year's Eves I have sat alone in hotel room with 2 small children while DH sees his family (tiny 1 bed sheltered housing place, and nowhere to even put the children down for the evening). Depressing. Never again. Having said that, it's all about the parents attitude - you'll have fun if you decide to!

I think it depends on your child and also what you want from the holiday.
DW and I have very demanding jobs so when we go away we want some totally selfish 'us' time. This doesn't work with children full stop let alone babies.
Our boys are 3 and DD is 12 weeks and we tend to go away somewhere in the U.K. within an 2-3 hour drive for a week to give them a holiday. A self catering apartment or cottage near the seaside normally fits the bill nicely. We take along at least 1 set of grandparents - sometimes both (they love it and are amazingly helpful too) so that we do get a day or an evening child free at some point (or even just a walk in the beach).
It's very rewarding and I love seeing the kids enjoying themselves but I am very clear in that I do not regard it as a holiday for me, it's hard work and in many respects we return home more knackered than when we went. I'd never not do it though.

However, a bit later in the year the kids get a nice little 'holiday' and go to stay with GP for a couple of weeks - while we go somewhere nice like Hawaii, the Carribean, Maldives etc and have our holiday!

We tend to camp or static caravan. We tend not to do more than a night or two in a single hotel room. When we went for a foreign AI hotel, we went for a suite with joined on bedroom for the DCs which helped, but we did feel stuck in there come 9pm when they'd had enough and needed a quiet space to sleep (18m & 3). They were more portable when they were younger, or rather when the older one was younger and more portable.

It's been worth going away even if some trips have felt like a busman's holiday. On our first one when the oldest was 8m, he liked the model village and aquarium. He still talks about going abroad at 3, a couple of years on, things are still etched on his memory. At least housekeeping a caravan is easier than a whole house

Don't think of it as a holiday . Think of it as a training course, where you teach your husband how to care for his own child . He can do everything except BF while you have a bit of a break .

The last time we spent a night in a hotel with a baby DC1 was 14mths and a great sleeper if the room was dark and quiet. DH and I amused ourselves in the shower, 9mths later DD arrived and 3mths after that we booked a lovely cottage for our next holiday!

We've just booked a holiday to go away with our 20 month old. 1 week in a lovely self catering cottage on a farm. Crucially, my in laws are coming for four nights in the middle of the week so we'll have some help! There's a big walled garden for toddling, ducks to feed and enough bedrooms so DS can have his own room.

Honestly if you'd said to me a couple of years ago that I'd think a week in Essex with my MiL (as much as I do love her) was the ideal holiday I'd have pissed myself. But you know, things change! 😕

I remember a caravan where every time I cooked we had to go out. Oven had a pull down door. Ds would open it and jump up and down on it

To be perfectly honest I agree with you op. At that age if I couldn't leave my 1yo with grandma/taken help with, I wouldn't have gone. Different story in a couple of years time.

My son was 1 in June. We went to Majorca for two weeks a few days after his birthday. Had a lovely time (although very hard as he was not walking yet). We have just come back from five days in a caravan in Wales. He really enjoyed it, beach, zoo, soft play, walks, funicular railway.
He loved doing different things and exploring new surroundings, playing at the kids hour in the evening entertainment. Definitely do it.

Kids are older now (almost 10&12 - the magic age according to a PP) but we've had a lot of self catering holidays. Some hotels - not great, but it's been ok (bad for romance!). And a couple of short camping trips. Kids were pretty easy, and compared to some of the doom on thus thread, I've enjoyed my holidays even if they have been a lot more active than previously!

To the OP I took 7 mo baby to Singapore as DH was working there. Stayed in hotel and had an awesome time. Very happy memories of that one.

I love holidays with my DD, who's now almost two. Been away with her both abroad and in the UK many times. I'd say the key is of course to go somewhere nice you're actually going to enjoy (nice weather, or scenery, or food) and then just take everything at a slow pace and be quite easy going about delays, disrupted sleep or eating patterns and spit up on clothes in planes etc.

Also, we've tended to stay in self-catering options or with family and friends in those places, or travelled with extended family, extra hands are so great when travelling with little ones. Think that's where grandparents and siblings etc really come into the picture, you can all have a nice family holiday together, many family members love helping with childcare and spending time all together. If travelling alone, go for places where there's something nice to do near by so it's not too exhausting, forest, beach, and nice little town...

I agree too, I refused to do hotel room breaks with a baby as its more of a ball ache than it's worth. Mine would never settle or sleep in a pushchair while we had dinner, it always turned into a 'juggle the unsettled baby while attempting to shovel food' fest.

Holiday cottages and family apartments are so much easier!

Clearly if the OPs baby needs absolute quiet and parents around to go to sleep this isn't going to work unless they take her out in a pram so it can sleep. That seems to be the major issue. My DC was breastfed (discreetly) at 6 mo and parked in a pram and at 12 months slept under a table in a Greek restaurant. Might also be OP's chance to make sure DP understands being hands-on with DC and teaching him to enjoy it.

I really wouldn't fancy a hotel break with young children unless you could afford one of those rooms with 2 areas.
We always stay in a caravan - it's almost like a home from home with its own kitchen/dining/living area and then separate bedrooms. We more or less follow our usual routine re. bedtimes etc but with more day trips and fewer household chores. The children may not remember every detail but we do and we take photos to show to them as they get older.
Dh also does his fair share of the child care since he's off work and they're his children. This means I also get a break from the general day to day drudge of life with young children.

Sorry if I've cross posted with a few people. I had to stop to cook tea part way through typing.

I totally agree with the OP.

When I had my first child, going away/eating late in restaurants/sleeping in her buggy while we chilled out, all worked out just fine. She was and still is a very laid back little girl who enjoys looking around, has the ability to sit down and chat and is lovely company

Roll on second child and going away is my idea of a nightmare. There is no way DC2 will sit in the buggy, sit calmly in restaurants until we are finished or sleep in the buggy. The only place DC2 will sleep is in the carseat or cot. Instead we are treated to tantrums due to exhaustion, screaming, throwing, screeching. We still persist in trying to eat at restaurants here at home (for otherwise how will DC2 learn?) but we limit it to places like M&S restaurants, Carluccios, Pizza Express - basically places that are child friendly and don't object when we ask for our starters and main courses to arrive at speed! Not only is the experience not particularly nice but it can be actually unpleasant and I am often very embarrassed when I look behind me when leaving a restaurant to see the mess we have left behind despite my efforts to tidy it up as well as I can.

Going away - the horror of applying suncream twenty times a day, the heat which makes DC2 crankier at home when it is not very hot at all. Apartments are up flights of stairs, not buggy friendly, balconies, pools..... I look at people booking holidays and feel relief that it isn't us.

DH on the other hand has visions of the children building sandcastles on the beach while he reads his book. It makes me snort with laughter.

I think if the weather isnt great then its pointless anyway as soft play and swimmig are activities you can do at home with a young child.
But if its nice weather and you can do something different to the norm then yes its good. We went to Isle of Wight when our daughter was 10 months and had a brilliant time (weather was lovely). We went away last year to weymouth and it rained all week. We ended up doing what we do at home and it was a waste of money.
It depends what you'll be doing I suppose...

ETA I am shaking my head in a mix of horror and bafflement at one of the earlier posts describing two adults sitting in an ensuite every evening while their children sleep in the attached bedroom bedroom and call it a holiday. There is NO WAY I would pay money to experience that.

Ahem . I don't think they were sitting in the ensuite. They were making baby #2.

But I agree with your point in general

I read it that the poster's DH sits on the closed toilet while using his laptop and she lines the bath with towels to make it more comfortable for herself while she reads her book!!! It sounds bloody awful.

If you are doing something on holiday that you enjoy then a holiday with a baby can be worth it - more for the parents than the baby. They are relatively portable. We were able to do some reasonable length walks when DS was a baby and could go in a sling. And if you're staying elsewhere you aren't always thinking that you should be cleaning or tidying in the evening or nap time.

Now DS is 5 and a real homebody who would quite happily stay at home. However we live in the Midlands so have no beaches nearby and I really like to have a change of scenery sometimes.