How annoyed would you be

[Pixienott0005]

Ok this legitimately isn't a situation I am in, my sister has been texting me on and off all day about a big fat family feud that has arisen, and I'm wondering what others make of it. Her son (my nephew) was 1 Thursday. Wednesday's her mil looks after her son for 1 day.

My sister collects him from mil house to find the place covered in banners, one of those big 1 helium balloons, more helium balloons, normal balloons every where etc. Her mil told her that her and her SIL had a party for her son and they had a cake and everything.

My sister is irritated as she's saying it is mainly a special milestone for her and her little family. Also kind of takes the specialness out of what her and her partner were going to do on her sons actual birthday on the Thursday. Her mil has just gone and done it all before hand. Plus there was a family party on Saturday where we all celebrated anyway.

Bit much or?

Mil has taken the piss, but TBH, the DC won't have a clue, so SIL needn't worry. It's a bit nasty of mil, tho, it is his first birthday, naturally his mum wants this 'first'.

He was 1, he won't have a clue

Personally I would be annoyed! First birthday party has to be one of the most special milestones. Granted said baby will have no memory of it but that's not the point really. At the very least it would have been best to check in with baby's parents before going ahead!!

That's what I'm thinking costa. Not sure if it's worth the agg.

I am a lax parent but this would really upset me, because a mile stone was celebrated without me.

Crazy thing for MIL to do but as the others said he won't know, she should just make sure dh puts a stop to any similar crap next year.

On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being very annoyed I'd be an 11 which reads "fucking kill her annoyed". That's not an over excited granny, that's total thunder stealing

Yes, I would be extremely annoyed in that situation.

No he won't have a clue that's true but it would majorly piss me off, not even because it's a first or anything, I just think it's a sneaky and very weird thing to host a party for a child that's not yours the day before their birthday and not invite said childs parents

Bonkers thing to do. Seriously bonkers.

But hey ho, people are bonkers. Particularly people in love. And babies can't have too many parties.

And saying "my little family" puts you automatically in the wrong.

I'd be pretty pissed off about that.

She's annoyed the cake/balloons ruined the actual birthday but gave him cake and balloons on Saturday before his birthday at a party and it was fine then?

I think I'd just be glad they we're excited. I completely get where she's coming from but it's his 1st birthday! The more excited people the better surely? Unless they have previous for being malicious?

At the end of the day, he won't be able to remember it, let alone who done what in years to come!

Just reread 'she told her she has a party, cake and everything' and that does sound a bit bonkers.

I'd be annoyed, but probably wouldn't start a tiff over it..

Is not a milestone though is it. It wasn't the child's actual birthday and a one year old has no clue. The mil probably just thought as she was minding the child that day, it would be nice to do something. It shouldn't impact on the mother at all.

I'd be very annoyed but as he's only one he won't remember. Just make sure there are lots of photos on his real birthday.

Would the MIL not have assumed that the family party the previous weekend was the "big" celebration? She was just having her own hoopla after the main event?

No that's totally off. I'm not precious on making cakes/parties etc. but if the mil thought it was fine she would have said beforehand.

I'd be over the moon if someone had given mine a party, I never saw the point of a first birthday party, or even a second to be honest.

I would be absolutely fuming, completely over stepping the mark. Completely weird she had her won party without the parents. I'd be telling sister to send dh over to deal

I can see why she's a bit upset, as it sounds a bit bonkers, but, as everyone else has said, a 1 yr old won't have a clue about it, so it's not worth getting worked up about.

My mum did this for my dd's 2nd birthday. Full on themed party with homemade cake. We couldn't do a party as we were mid move. I was devastated. Didn't say anything though as dd clearly had fun. However when mum mentioned she was planning the same this year I asked her not to and explained how upset I was to be excluded last year. She's not doing it now (hopefully).

Just sounds like a photo opportunity to me.

I couldn't get worked up about it.

Who has a first birthday party for a child without telling the parents?
That is very weird and I'd be fucking fuming at the sheer underhandedness of it

I could kind of see where she was coming from if they hadn't already had the party on Saturday. But they did, so mil hadn't taken away a first. She just did an extra celebration. Seems fine to me.

Your sister was BU for using the phrase "our little family" - Bleugh!

MIL was likely BU and odd, but this partly depends on who attended the "party": if it was MiL, FiL and great aunt maggie with some cake and balloons that's much less U than if her whole street was in attendance!