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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think parents at beach were unreasonable??

233 replies

gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:21

Currently on holiday in France - went to the beach today with dh and my kids. DD1 (14), DS1 (10), DD2 & DD3 (twins both 7), DS2 (4) and DD4 (1).
DD1 wore a bikini, DS1 wore Bermuda shorts, DD2 & DD3 wore tankinis, DS2 and DD4 wore uv suits. We were topping the kids up with sun cream all day. A Family with 2 kids aged about 13 and 10 and both wearing full uv suits and hats came and sat near us. Mother comes up to me and asks why my 4 of my kids are not in uv suits. I said that they prefer to wear normal swimsuits and I am fine with what they wear. She proceeded to tell me I'm a bad mum for only having 2 of my kids in uv suits and that I didn't care about the ones not wearing uv suits!!! She lectured me about uv Rays even though I was topping the kids up with sun cream !! Aibu to think she was totally out of line?!?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 29/07/2016 22:23

A bit extreme of her, certainly.

HerRoyalNotness · 29/07/2016 22:25

A bit odd of her. Was she wearing a UV suit? Does she not care about herself?

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 29/07/2016 22:25

Yanbu, my youngest 2 (4 and 2) are the only ones who wear uv suits. The older ones prefer tankinis or swim shorts. As long as they have sun cream on they are fine

dylsmimi · 29/07/2016 22:26

Does sound a unreasonable I would have loved to say to her with a cheery smile 'yes, those are the favourites, we only feed those ones too and in fact may leave the eldest 2 here in France!' Grin
But I know I wouldn't have the nerve!
Enjoy the rest of your holiday op

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 29/07/2016 22:26

lecture her back about rickets!

WorraLiberty · 29/07/2016 22:29

Yeah but did she really say, "You are a bad mum"? and "You don't care about your other children"?

Or was she just explaining patronisingly, about the danger of UV rays?

Mumblechum0 · 29/07/2016 22:29

What the hell's a UV suit?

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:29

Thank you everyone, she was in a uv top certainly and her dd (I think 13) looked embarrassed to be in a uv suit

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 29/07/2016 22:30

What was the mum wearing?

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:31

WorraLiberty she said that I clearly didn't bother so much about my older children and implied that I was a bad mum

OP posts:
MaryMargaret · 29/07/2016 22:31

remembers numerous family holidays in France in the 60s clad only in a swimsuit and a lick of Factor whoknows

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 29/07/2016 22:31

Why do people insist on trying to upset people. What do they get out of it.
She knows absolutely nothing about you. You could have been suffering from PND for all she knows and arse wankery comments like "You're a bad mother", well how dare she.!!!!Angry.
Not only that but she was taking a chance in any case. How did she know you weren't the type to turn around and knock her out.
perhaps if you had have done. It might have taught her a lesson about not saying what you feel like, to strange people. Just saying

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:31

Mum was in a uv top and normal everyday trousers

OP posts:
Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:32

I didn't know what to say so me and dh moved the kids further down the beach!!

OP posts:
MaryMargaret · 29/07/2016 22:32

Sorry about the bold. Typing error!

She was very rude.

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:33

I told her it wasn't her concern what my kids were wearing

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Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:34

Thank you marymargaret that good to hear - I don't understand why she felt the need to comment

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John4703 · 29/07/2016 22:35

Mumblechum0 Fri 29-Jul-16 22:29:37 "What the hell's a UV suit?"
I want to know too, what is a UV suit? I've never heard of it.
It sounds horrific but I like the sun and love getting a tan.

calamityjam · 29/07/2016 22:35

What is wrong with people nowadays? I am betting the nosey woman was British? Dp and I used to take all 5 of ours to the Costa Del Sol when they were younger and we used p20 on them and didn't use any uv suits even on the baby, who admittedly is very dark skinned. They never ever burned. The only time we got comments were from Spanish people who would compliment us on having a lovely big family. Over here we sometimes got glared at with 5 in tow.

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:36

Dylsmimi - I should have said that but probably wouldn't have had the nerve. Was also shocked about it at the time . I wouldn't dream of commenting on what someone else's kids were wearing!!

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FeckinCrutches · 29/07/2016 22:36

She just walked up to you out of the blue? How odd.

pearlylum · 29/07/2016 22:36

Mother comes up to me and asks why my 4 of my kids are not in uv suits.

Hmm

I can't imagine a stranger coming up and saying this out of the blue.
Within the context of a conversation I could see it being discussed as a topic.
Are you sure she "lectured " you, or perhaps just stating her views?

I think your spin on this makes it into a much more dramatic event than it really was.

Rainer · 29/07/2016 22:37

Probably her own miserable dd had said 'but mum, they arent in a uv suit' and she had to make a scene to back up her stand point.

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:37

John + mumble chum0 - sort of swim suit material but a t shirt and shorts. Saves slathering sun cream on little ones who squirm!!

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Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:38

We were sitting on the beach playing with the kids and mother comes up and engages me in convo - asks me why kids aren't all in uv suits and tells me about dangers of skin cancer

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