AIBU to think parents at beach were unreasonable??

[gracieben6]

Currently on holiday in France - went to the beach today with dh and my kids. DD1 (14), DS1 (10), DD2 & DD3 (twins both 7), DS2 (4) and DD4 (1).
DD1 wore a bikini, DS1 wore Bermuda shorts, DD2 & DD3 wore tankinis, DS2 and DD4 wore uv suits. We were topping the kids up with sun cream all day. A Family with 2 kids aged about 13 and 10 and both wearing full uv suits and hats came and sat near us. Mother comes up to me and asks why my 4 of my kids are not in uv suits. I said that they prefer to wear normal swimsuits and I am fine with what they wear. She proceeded to tell me I'm a bad mum for only having 2 of my kids in uv suits and that I didn't care about the ones not wearing uv suits!!! She lectured me about uv Rays even though I was topping the kids up with sun cream !! Aibu to think she was totally out of line?!?

wow what a stupid cunt. I'd have kicked her right in her fanny and told her kids that Mummy needs to be aware of offending other mothers on the beach, aswell as UV rays, because this is what can happen.

I would have made a snide comment about vitamin D.

Having said that I am a big fan of uv "tshirt" swimsuits purely because as PP have mentioned you don't have to pin DD down and apply cream all over, just face/arms/lower legs. When she's old enough to show me she can sit while I slather her, she can have a trendy cossie.

I get lectured because I dye my hair blonde/auburn and look very white. I'm actually part Asian, very very fair (half Irish) but my natural hair is darker and I rarely burn. I'm not stupid - I use factor 25-30 in the uk on a hot day but sun seems to turn some people's know it all switch on.

wow what a stupid cunt. I'd have kicked her right in her fanny and told her kids that Mummy needs to be aware of offending other mothers on the beach, aswell as UV rays, because this is what can happen

Nice

Cuckoo I hope you're joking. If you're not I would apply MY personal health issues (vit D shortage = anxiety flare ups) and make smug comments about that wit out any awareness of your circumstances.

And yes this can be a tetchy issue for me as a (to quote an ex) "fake white person". If I'm in Asian dress or dressed quite Boden people don't challenge ... If I look a bit bog standard white girl I get patronised.

wow what a stupid cunt. I'd have kicked her right in her fanny

I'm glad I don't know you in real life. What a foul mouth.

pearlylum you would hate me.

You sound fun though, lets be friends.

I was indeed joking

Find this extremely weird that someone who is that concerned about other peoples exposure would still take their children to a beach resort at the hottest time of year. We're just back from Spain. Children had spf 50 (chemist brand for children) applied before leaving the house (Children can easily burn on a walk to the beach or in the time it takes to set up and cream them up). We arrive early - before 10am. The children then play out for around an hour, with a hat with a neck shield. They then come in, have the cream reapplied if they have paddled. Play under the shade until the peak, and then we go indoors, returning from 5pm and stay at the beach late. We use rash vests only for when playing in the water or when they're in their little inflatable boat. Didn't get pink in the slightest, didn't get frustrated being in the shade full time and no prickly heat. My eldest is basically as pale looking as he was on the outbound flight. My problem with uv suits is that people rely on them, forgetting that cream needs reapplying elsewhere and that there are other problems with being out in the hottest part like dehydration and sun stroke.

I think it is sensible to have them in UV suits, however I would have been really annoyed if a total stranger came up to me like that, questioned my parenting and told me I was a bad mother! At the end of the day what you decide to do with your kids is your business and no one else's.

Maybe she has lost members of her family to skin cancer and came across a bit too direct when it is just at the top of her list of priorities....
Mine wear them but they are red heads and so pale skinned. Eldest is starting to ask about bikinis but still accepts it is better for her paler skin tone for now!

Why is everyone so disbelieving of this lady's story? Oh it sounds bizarre she must have made it up? Really think she has nothing better to do with her time? People are dicks and make dick comments. Jesus 🙄 she's already had one judgemental mum going on at her give her a bloody break ffs 😂 I used to nanny for two quarter Jamaican children and a lady came up to me and had a go at me for not using suncream because they looked 'too tanned'! Sakes 😂

My DC don't wear rash vests. They do, however, use sun block at somewhere between factor 50 and 100

They do, however, use sun block at somewhere between factor 50 and 100
This (and other posts) highlight some of the common lack of understanding about suncreams and why people would be safer if they just wore UV clothing.

There is no such thing as sun block. If a cream claims to be sun block then it cannot be sold in most of the world (EU, Australia, USA*)

Any SPF claiming higher that 50 offers no more protection so cannot be labelled as such.

No creams are waterproof. The best they can offer is water resistant so creams must be reapplied after about 30 minutes in the water. Again, they cannot be labelled as such.

Reapplying suncream simply replaces cream that has worn off. It does not increase the amount of time you can stay in the sun without burning. If you can stay in the sun for 3 hours with suncream before you start to burn, reapplying after 3 hours will not offer further protection. You have to come out of the sun at that time.

Tanning IS burning. The skin is permanently damaged.
You don't have to tan or burn for permanent damage to be done.
The damage is cumulative over time.
UVB is the main cause of burning but UVA penetrates deeper and causes damage you would not even be aware of.
It's that damage that can become skin cancer decades later.

The chest and back are two of the most common locations for skin cancer to develop (particularly in men)

*Labelling regulations in the EU and Australia have been much stricter for far longer than in the US. The US is still lagging behind in their standards and although the FDA has proposed the same standards as the EU and Aus, they are still faffing around enforcing it. Hence you can still buy a waterproof sunblock SPF100 in the US. It's no better (and is possibly worse), than a water resistant suncream SPF50 bought in the UK.

Need YY to that!!!

Great post need another glass. This thread helps me understand why rates of skin cancer are so high in the UK. As well as plain old ignorance there is wilful disregard of medical advice on this - much like the people who say

" how can smoking bad for you, my granny smoked until she was 95? "

And as for the the people who suggest that protecting from skin damage and cancer is somehow " sucking the joy " out of life - right cancer is such a joyful disease , isn't it?

My BIL nearly died at the age of 40 from skin cancer - try telling his wife and three teenage kids that all that joyful sunbathing was worth it . He's still very badly scarred from the surgery and subsequent complications that needed skin grafts .

BTW he had lived all his life in a not very sunny part of the UK, it was from frying himself sunbathing on foreign holidays .

Typo on my part - should have said sun cream (not block)

We aren't in the UK, but do use quality sun cream (the sort that Which tests and finds meets its claims on SPF). But crucially keep out of the worst of the hot sun (the afternoon here)

Slightly off track: why are they called rash vests?

Which doesn't test any creams that claim higher than SPF50.
You may well be using an excellent cream. I was just explaining that a higher SPF does not offer better protection.

Rash vests were originally used to be worn under wetsuits to prevent the rough seams and zips causing a rash. They are tight fitting so they don't rub.
When you are looking at UV clothing, it's worth remembering that rash vests are tight fitting so you might want to buy a bigger size if you want a more relaxed fit.
It would be more apt to call them Anti-Rash Vests

Kids call them " rashies " too. My son sails and all the kids wear them , along with board shorts. The girls sometimes just wear them with bikini bottoms ( and over a bikini too obv ) .

You'd look a right idiot wearing the micro trunks that look like women's underwear ( aka budgie smugglers ) that seem in vogue on this thread .

Aha - that makes sense re the original name!

(Sorry if my shorthand is causing confusion: I meant the US version of Which, which does indeed test higher SPF sun creams and concluded that cheap brands aren't so good at providing enhanced protection but a few of the more expensive ones (Bananaboat, Coppertone and Aveeno, off the top of my head) lived up to their claims)

Cheapest doesn't mean worst. Expensive doesn't mean best.

Which is the UK did a test of suncreams this year.
DM LINK

They awarded a Best Buy to the cheapest product on test.

"ALDI Lacura Suncare Moisturising Sun Lotion SPF30
The cheapest to be tested, we were pleasantly surprised to see that this sunscreen, from ALDI, passed both tests. And at only £2.49 a bottle, it's a bargain!
Which? says: 'Aldi Lacura Suncare Moisturising Sun Spray SPF30 passed our SPF test, and our panel of testers considered it very easy to apply, so we've named it a Best Buy sun cream.'"

There are better creams you can buy, but this is a really good one.

Can I remind people that sun cream should be applied thickly and allowed to soak into the skin? Not a small amount and then spread as thinly as possible . Otherwise you don't get the benefit of the full SPF.

When we go on a beach holiday to the med, we use about a bottle per person per week . And we are only creaming the parts of the body not covered by shorts and t shirt .

Which is why we buy it in Aldi at £2.50 a bottle or in boots at BOGOHP. Rather than in resort at €20 a bottle

No, it's not always as straightforward as best is the most expensive. Though I've found that one difference can be that more expensive ones have ingredients that make it easier to spread so I guess that helps with getting good coverage. I think most times I have caught the sun it has been user error (on my part)

Yy to applying in advance: no point sitting on the beach to put it on!!

I don't think we evernspend more than a few hours on the beach. (I like shade, get bored etc!)

Why are people commenting on this just calling OP a liar?! Am I the only one to find this weird?

Can't believe she felt the need to lecture u OP! Ridiculous!

I got my 2 DS (3 + 5) uv suits but they kept getting too cold with them on as the wind wud make their wet suits cold (on holiday in spain) so I had to swap to shorts n suncream n avoid 12-2 hrs. I wuda been very annoyed if I were u!