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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think parents at beach were unreasonable??

233 replies

gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:21

Currently on holiday in France - went to the beach today with dh and my kids. DD1 (14), DS1 (10), DD2 & DD3 (twins both 7), DS2 (4) and DD4 (1).
DD1 wore a bikini, DS1 wore Bermuda shorts, DD2 & DD3 wore tankinis, DS2 and DD4 wore uv suits. We were topping the kids up with sun cream all day. A Family with 2 kids aged about 13 and 10 and both wearing full uv suits and hats came and sat near us. Mother comes up to me and asks why my 4 of my kids are not in uv suits. I said that they prefer to wear normal swimsuits and I am fine with what they wear. She proceeded to tell me I'm a bad mum for only having 2 of my kids in uv suits and that I didn't care about the ones not wearing uv suits!!! She lectured me about uv Rays even though I was topping the kids up with sun cream !! Aibu to think she was totally out of line?!?

OP posts:
Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:40

Calamityjam - I often find people looking at me oddly with 6 kids + woman was British

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 29/07/2016 22:40

I simply don't believe this.

AnaisWatterson · 29/07/2016 22:41

Only some of the uv suits protect when wet anyway so your better off a lot of the time with waterproof suncream.
Your going to see her everywhere now aren't you?!

calamityjam · 29/07/2016 22:42

I absolutely do believe this. In fact there was a whole thread about weird comments that strangers make yesterday on here.

Amelie10 · 29/07/2016 22:43

Really? A random woman cared enough on holiday to give you a lecture Hmm

Mycraneisfixed · 29/07/2016 22:47

Holier than thou mothers pop up any time anywhere.

SavoyCabbage · 29/07/2016 22:48

It's really meddling and over the top of her to speak to you about what your dc are wearing. Perhaps you would equally disapprove of the sandwich fillings she was giving her dc or the safety standards of her car seats. Imagine if we all carried on like that.

I've been to the beach on the uk for the first time this week after years of living abroad and I have to say I found it really strange to see all the people in just swimming costumes. Both my kids had UV tops on as that is what they are used to.

LunaLoveg00d · 29/07/2016 22:48

My kids wear UV tops on the beach if we're there for more than an hour as they're all fair skinned and burn easily. A long sleeve top or rash vest saves a lot of repeated sun cream applying. I also don't care if it's not particularly fashionable, when you've red hair and freckles fashion doesn't come into it. Plus my daughter got a really nice floral blue and pink long sleeve UV top in Fat Face last summer so they're not all dull colours and boring.

I wouldn't dream of lecturing other people about it though.

Justforthisfred · 29/07/2016 22:51

Is it a nice beach & do you feel safe there?

Trying to book something for August but being a bit wet about going to France, which is stupid & sad. I love France, normally go at the drop of hat, but after everything I just can't seem to book tickets to go, each time I start looking again something else happens. I'd just convinced myself that staying away from the bigger cities & booking small villages and mooching around some churches would be best...

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:51

Thank you everyone - why can't people just let other choose how to raise their children instead of being holier than thou - great wording mycraneisfixed

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Daisygarden · 29/07/2016 22:53

Well. I wouldn't have actually lectured someone, but TBH I would think that if temperatures are hot and the sun is full on, then at least a t-shirt over the swimwear, if not a uv suit, for the 7yo and the 10yo. Even at 14 I was made to wear a t-shirt over swimwear. The ONE time I didn't, I got badly burned in one half day out in the sun (south of France), got huge 2nd and 3rd degree burns over most of my back and arms which blistered very quickly and had to be burst and dressed at A&E and then stay indoors for the rest of the holiday. I had plenty of suncream on. That kind of sunburn can happen very quickly and children's skin is so delicate.

Passthecake30 · 29/07/2016 22:53

Wow. My 6&8 yr old wear rash vests but they are already commenting that other children don't. I imagine when they are the age of your eldest dcs I won't have a chance getting them wearing one! Nosey bag.

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:53

It's absolutely lovely beach and almost everyday we meet families there who have kids who our kids play with. First time I've ever come across people who feel the need to comment on my kids

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WorraLiberty · 29/07/2016 22:55

They look hot and uncomfortable, are they?

Plus, if they're short sleeved and short legged, what's the point in them?

You'll have to re-apply lotion to their arms, legs and feet, so why not the rest of their body?

Only takes a couple of minutes, especially with a spray.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 29/07/2016 22:56

I must have a 'don't fucking mess with me' face because strangers don't generally decide to lecture me about random things. It never fails to amaze me what people have strangers say to them...most peculiar. It seems some people simply have no social skills.

I'd go with 'Yeah, I really don't like them after the toddler stage, it's why we keep having more'

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:56

My 14 year old and ten year old refuse to wear them. My twins sometimes wear them.
Daisy garden - it was a sunny and warm day (25 degrees). If it had been hotter I maybe would have got elder kids to put a t-shirt on at midday but I see your pointGrin

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SuburbanRhonda · 29/07/2016 22:57

I don't believe this happened either.

Kr1stina · 29/07/2016 22:57

My 16yo wears a rash vest on the beach and most of her friends do the same ( or wear a t shirt )

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:58

Good one extrahotlattetogo - I should have said I let them run wild from 5+

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Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 22:59

Kr1stina - that's interesting that you dc said her friends do. Dd 1 adamant that they don'tHmm

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LunaLoveg00d · 29/07/2016 22:59

In my experience the long sleeved ones are the best, but short sleeved better than just a swimsuit. The bits which get burned are the bits which are exposed to the sun and aren't usually - shoulders, back of the neck, upper arms. My kids don't find them hot, probably because they're in and out the water all the time anyway. Legs don't seem to get burned as badly on the kids.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 29/07/2016 22:59

worra because they cover the bits that are generally covered when dressed and are more vulnerable to being burnt when exposed than lower legs and forearms.

Original poster
gracieben6 · 29/07/2016 23:01

My kids wear plenty of sun cream and during midday we went and had lunch so they weren't in the sun during peak time

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Daisygarden · 29/07/2016 23:02

Worra they are just like swimsuit fabric, lightweight and stretchy. Fun designs. We're not talking wetsuits or scuba fabric here!

The main areas for sunburn are the shoulders, back and tops of legs.

Lotion washes off, even the waterproof ones are less effective after going in and out of water (as kids do) and being towelled off.

Not sure why people are against something which is beneficial to a young child? Hmm Agree that lecturing wasn't on, but that doesn't mean UV suits are wrong!!

WorraLiberty · 29/07/2016 23:04

Ahh right, so they're not as hot as they look? I was actually thinking wetsuit material when I googled the pics Grin

I used to bung a long t.shirt on mine and one of those foreign legion type hats, with the bit that covers the neck.