Anyone else who's never had a row with their partner?

[WibblyWobblyJellyHead]

Dh and I have been together for ten years, married for six. We've never had a row and very rarely (like once a year) have anything resembling cross words.

It's the only relationship I've ever had like this, and I used to think that rows equalled passion. I don't think that any more.

Our marriage is far from perfect (I've got MH problems, overspend and make stupid rash decisions so im not easy to live with) but he is my best friend and I love, respect and fancy him so having a screaming match or being mean just wouldn't happen.

Anyone else? I haven't put this in Relationships because I don't think it's fair, so I'll shoehorn an AIBU in. AIBU to never row with dh?

[Sallystyle]

Why are some people being so weird about others that don't argue? Can you really not comprehend that some couples resolve issues without shouting at each other?

Why do some people think that arguing means shouting?

[RaskolnikovsGarret]

We argue all the time but leave the angry ones to when DDs are not around. Been together 19 years.

I almost can't believe so many of you don't disagree about anything, but my DDs never tantrummed as toddlers, and I'd get annoyed if no one believed me, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you.

Very impressive and very far off my life.

[Salmotrutta]

I think some people appear to think an argument is a "screaming/shouting/nasty comments" exchange.

It isn't necessarily just that - it can be an animated disagreement about what colour to paint the walls/how to discipline children/politics.

Arguments can be very calm and controlled actually.

And, if it makes any difference, my parents very rarely argued in front of us - it was mostly done quietly when they thought we were in bed/in our rooms and we tried to model that with our own DC.

We certainly didn't have rip-roaring rows in front of them.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

I don't think arguing is disagreeing, though. You can disagree with someone without arguing with them.

[Salmotrutta]

And finally... When my parents did argue when they thought we weren't around it was usually a disagreement of an unimportant nature.

[MrsKoala]

I just can't imagine calling dp a twat, or whatever, slamming doors and shouting. One of my best friends rows with her dh and he has called her a selfish fucking bitch, I just can't get my head around that, coming back from that I mean, it's mot like you can un-say it is it?

The thing about this is some couples don't need to 'un-say' it. It's not actually that bad to us. DH and i are incredibly robust with each other and swear and blow off steam. Neither of us needs to 'come back from it'. Even in our normal interactions we swear and insult each other a bit. Eg today DH has gone off for his hobby without saying goodbye. I know he was in a hurry and excited so i'm not really bothered, but a kiss would have been nice! So i texted 'Thanks for pissing off and not saying goodbye' and he answered 'i just thought bollocks to you'. So then it's not much of a leap when you are genuinely pissed off with someone to call them a selfish twat, for er, being a selfish twat, as most people can be some of the time.

Last week DH came home from seeing his dad (who has dementia and we are trying our best to care for him but it is really stretching us), he was angry about the situation and really was unpleasant to me, i told him to stop it calmly and he didn't so i eventually lost my temper called him a prick and slammed the bedroom door. Minutes later he came and apologised. I didn't tho, because he was being a prick!

The only things i would need to 'come back from' are if he said he didn't love me or want to be married or something like that. Heat of the moment exclamations don't mean that much to me (within reason of course).

[Heyheyheygoodbye]

We don't really argue because DH's temperament means it's like trying to fight a cloud. I give it a good go though I'm a shouter and thrower of things. He's a stewer. We work it out between us.

[BursarsFrogs]

We don't row either. 15 years together. Sure we get grumpy at each other at times, disagree at times, but never had a row or a shouting match over anything. We both grew up in homes where that was common, and just would never want that in our own home. And it just doesn't come naturally for us, I guess.

[WorraLiberty]

argue
ˈɑːɡjuː/
verb
1.
give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one's view.

2.
exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.

We've often done number 1 but very rarely number 2.

We've been together 15 years.

[Titsalinabumsquash]

We don't argue, although I'm quite a shouty person (which I hate!)

He once did something monumentally shit which I spent some time thinking about whether it was bad enough to break the relationship (not cheating or anything) we discussed it without arguing and forgot about it.
He's quite a calming presence in general.

[BadLad]

We've had three (that I can remember) major arguments in 7 years.

They were passionate arguments but they didn't lead to insults, name-calling or shouting.

So I think we're doing well,

[Gottagetmoving]

Me and DP have had massive arguments although as time goes on we have less. We never ever call each other names though or tell each other to fuck off etc.
However, me and my ex husband never rowed at all and yet we split up

[queenMab99]

My first DH and I never really argued we had similar views on most things, and were happy , I thought, then after 18 years he started seeing someone else, he didn't realise I knew, and I waited patiently for it to blow over, he always denied it when asked , which obviously did cause rows. After 4 years I at last LTB. When I met my 2nd husband , it was a totally different sort of relationship, we argued, a lot.but life was never boring with him. I always say the 1st relationship was easier, but the 2nd was more worthwhile.

[cricketballs]

Before we got married (church or registry office only option) we had to have 3 discussions with the vicar and the other coupkes who were also going to have their wedding in the same time period. When asked by the vicar what happened when we argued the other two couples pronounced that "they never argue" whilst we were hinest and said that we did, but we did sort it out.

The vicar actually said to us that of the 3 couples we were the one more likely to stay together as we were comfortable enough to 'voice our opinion'!

22 years later we are the only couple still married and still happy to have a row every now and again

[ellanutella8]

There's a difference between disagreement and having an angry row where feelings get hurt. We've been together 6 and a half years and had 2 rows. One was yesterday!

Our communication styles are very similar and we are both quiet. We use a lot of the When you do x it makes me feel y' therapy style talk naturally for some reason.

I'd love a good shouty row once in a while but instead we boringly talk through it instead.