Baby left in car

[MooPointCowsOpinion]

On my way back to our car, My husband noticed a baby in the car parked next to ours. Alone, two front windows were slightly open, he looked about 12 months. We fretted a bit, stayed sat next to him waiting for 10 minutes and no-one came. So I called the police on 101, and they immediately put me through to 999.

The woman arrived back at her car a minute before the police did. I told her I'd called the police, and she couldn't leave her baby like that. She cried and said she was having a shit day and needed to get the item she' bought (big and bulky box, maybe a buggy?) to the car. I hugged her, cried with her, and said I understood but she still can't do that, and then directed the police to her and left.

Was I being a busy body? AIBU to think it's illegal to do that?

You were right in what you did - apart from the potential heat/health matter, what if someone had smashed the window and stolen the baby? Wierdos are rare but nonetheless exist, and having lived in an area where a man who had already murdered a child attempted to take two little girls from their garden practically under the nose of their mother who was washing up and watching them from the kitchen, i wouldn't take my eyes off my children in a public area. You did the right thing.

Op i think you were great. You called Police for a baby in risk but were also v supportive to a mom who seemibgly did something stupid under stress and was helped more by your support than if you'd yelled at her.

Freedom AIBU to assume you'd happily leave your child in the car then and play the statisitcs game and take the risk?

And OP hardly SET THE POLICE on her. They came because a child was at RISK

No yrnbu I would have done the same thing. It takes a lot to do the right thing sometimes and that's what you did

Last year I had been running various errands with my then 8 year old having to tag along. I just wanted to pop in to the supermarket on the way back home to get a few things. By now he was thoroughly fed up so I said he could wait in the car and listen to the radio rather than come in with me.
I had been away about 15 minutes (unfortunately these things always take longer than you think) and was just leaving the tills when I got a phone call. It was my son. He doesn't have a phone.
A car, which had been parked about 5 spaces from mine had gone up in flames! My son had got out of the car when a 'nice man' had asked him where his mum was, and lent him his phone (luckily my son knew my number) I arrived just in time to see the fire engine come round the corner.
I just think myself lucky that:
A: The car on fire was not any closer to mine,
B: My son was old enough (and sensible enough) to get out,
C: The 'nice man' was actually a nice man and not a peodophile!
It is unlikely that things will happen - but they do, and not always the things we think about!

you're clearly an idiot if you're trying in any way, shape or form to justify leaving a small child in a car in 39 degree heat

When did the temp go up to 39 degrees?

The Op hasn't said where she was, but I spent most of the day yesterday in the car with the windows closed. Because where I am it wasn't particularly hot.

Freedom is right - every situation has its own set of risks attached, which as individuals we have to learn to balance. It is entirely likely the mother knew exactly how long she would be, and made a correct assessment of the risk.

Actually, she obviously did make a reasonable assessment, because the child didn't require rescuing and came to no harm. The mother returned before the police arrived, and therefore there was no "outside" influence on the outcome.

OP saw the child alone, and made a different risk assessment to the mother. She didn't have all the information (how long the mother would be gone), so her risk assessment was of necessity less accurate than the mother's. However, having made her own assessment, I wouldn't say she was necessarily wrong to act on her judgement.

But that doesn't meant the mother was wrong.

I worked with someone who left their twins in the car for 5 minutes but it caught fire and she couldn't get them out - it's just too high a risk leaving a baby in a car....

It's a no brainier.

You saw a child at risk and did what you felt was right. You waited until either the police or the mother returned. Then you sympathised with the mother but also explained what you felt where the risk.

Better that than hear about a dead child on the 10 o'clock news.

Well done, YANBU.

The rules about leaving a child unattended with regards safeguarding are if they are at no risk. Alone in a car at this age there is always a risk. It might be small but it can also be catastrophic. Car fires, accidents etc. What if the child had been sick abd choked? What if he'd figured out the latches on his chair and fell and hurt himself? There's other risks than heat when you leave a baby unattended, out of sight or hearing distance to you.

And given that the mom admutted she was really stressed chances are IF she did a risk assessment it was influenced by her stress anyway

What do you do in petrol stations? Genuinely curious, not trying to make any kind of statement. I have four kids v close together - at one point three of them were in car seats, two toddlers and a baby - I have to confess that nearly all the time I left them in the car while I went to pay rather than get all four of them out, which would have been a nightmare and IMHO far more dangerous to have one adult in charge of four tiny children in a garage forecourt. But I was still told off twice by people who didn't agree with me... When I could, I used to drive on from the pump to a parking space right by the shop, but that caused its own issues with the garage owners getting upset...
I know this is a totally different situation - as I said, just curious to know what other people do.

Definitely the right thing. You didn't know if the baby had already been there for ages and when the parent would return.

You don't leave a mobile phone or purse in full view in a car so why leave the most precious thing you have alone. Crap day or not, it's no excuse. You did the right thing

Cornygirl I pay at pump, or send DH to fill the cars up at night when we are all home.

Cornygirl I have 4 too. I used to fill up at night/get DH to fill up or pay at the pump.

Now we live in a place where attendents fill your car for you. It's amazing!

You did the right thing. I would not hesitate to do the same.
She wont be tempted to do that again. As many of the posts have said, her day would have gotten a whole lot worse if something happened to the baby. And there are many ways of convenience shopping these days. There really is no excuse. I used to work in retail, and we were more than happy to hold a baby while mum picked up a few bits, or carry mum's shopping, if we saw them struggling. As a mum of five myself. If i can't online shop, i pull my car round to the delivery entrance of the store and i politely ask staff if they would mind taking the item there. My local Argos suggested i do this once when they saw me struggling with pushing a buggy and an item which was bigger than i thought it would be, and ive been doing it ever since. I take the kids with me to order something, then if its a bulky order we all go back to the car, while a friendly assistant brings out the item at the back entrance.
And if thats not possible. Then leave it to be picked up later. What can be more important than keeping your baby safe?

I agree it was the right thing for the OP to do, but let's not make daft false analogies between children and high-value electronic items that opportunist thieves might take.

You absolutely did the right thing. No reason and no excuse a child should EVER be left in a car. EVER. This happens in Australia in.the heat and children die. Gosh someone could abduct them. I once left ny daughter in the car at the petrol station only as I could see her every second I was instore paying. I fretted over this so I can't imagine leaving them in a car for even a minute to go into a shop. They are way too vulnerable. The lady while having a bad dsy needs to be educated.

I leave mine in car at petrol station. Calculated risk. Promise them a magazine if they don't escape/car doesn't burst into flames.

I would never leave my 20 month Dd in a hot car for any length of time. I have however regularly since she was small baby left her for short periods of time in the car (not on hot days) whilst I've nipped in to a shop to get something or petrol. Always in a shop that I have parked right outside. If asleep I have also always left her in the car on the drive with all of the windows open (dependent on weather). I don't see that I am neglecting my child/putting her at undue risk.

Unless she wakes Jand and god flrbid gets herself out the seat and into trouble. Obvs if you call Police and say child left in car park they come out, no idea what their attitude would be if left on a drive

you did the right thing.babies dont need to die in hot cars!! leaving a child alone,sleeping or otherwise is a risk (at best)that shouldnt occur.imagine going back n some bad driver had smashed into your car??or baby was gone?????you were kind and thoughtfuol and regardless as to how shit her day had been-she was lucky you appeared n probably thinks so too

lj73unique so true. And one thing people often don't think about is the childs perspective. I was an 80's child. My parents were very uneducated about stranger danger. A very "it wont happen to us " type of attitude. I used to be left for hours in the car alone, its scary, and lonely sitting wondering whether or not your parents will come back. People peering into the car would scare the crap out of me. If you have a toddler you will understand that just a trip to the loo gives them a panic attack Imagine how they feel watching you walk away from the car, and locking it with them inside and you on the outside. Or waking up to find themselves locked in a car with no parent in sight.
When i was about 10, my mum left me with my baby sister in the car. It was a lovely hot day so she left the windows down. She said she would be 5 mins dropping something off to a friend,(she was a lot longer) my baby sister was playing with my mums bag which she left in the car. A young man about 19ish walked past the car smiling at my sister and i about 2 or 3 times and finally reached into the car, shoved my sister down (she was about 16 months old) and pulled the bag away.
I was only 10 years old. I was so scared, i didnt know which house my mum had gone into so when i was sure the guy was gone, i grabbed my sister, ran out of the car, and screamed for my mum until she came out of one of the houses.
I would love to say that she never left us in the car again. But she did!! But always remembering to take her handbag!! 😠

Moopoint and dizzyfucker you are far more organised than me, I only ever seem to notice u am running out of petrol on my way to somewhere important... But will beat those tips in mind, although now my eldest is a bit more responsible I actually don't consider it unreasonable to leave mine in the car. Not a single tiny baby though...

You did the right thing by calling the police. Even If she was having a shitty day, I don't get how any single thing is so important that you leave your baby alone in a car. Babies and children are the most inconvenient things on earth, so she needs to get her head around the fact that she'll always need to fit the baby into her urgent box collecting, and if she cant cope with her baby then she needs to seek help and advice. I would have smashed the windows. It's all well and good that she came back before the police came, but there was no way to know which would come first or how long they'd take. If it isn't illegal to leave kids in cars, it should be! Ps cars are hotter than the actual outside temperature

Well it seems that the police have a different risk assessment to all the qualified statisticians on this thread. The fact that they put it straight through to 999 and sent an officer out immediately tells you that it is definitely NOT the right thing to do, for obvious and numerous reasons. OP you did the right thing. What has the world come to if we need to risk assess whether or not to leave a baby alone in a car whilst we do our shopping?