To feel annoyed at DH showering twice a day

[InsaneDame]

Apparently he needs one in the morning to feel fresh before work and one in the evening after being at work all day - this one I understand but surely after showering the night before and just sleeping there is no need for one in the morning? AIBU?

[Parker231]

I assumed that 2 showers a day was the norm - morning one to be clean and fresh to start the day and one in the evening to clean and cool down. I have a 3rd shower on days that I have been to the gym. No way is DH getting into our bed tonight unless he's had a shower!

[timeforabrewnow]

humansatsuma that's the Victorian speaking out now 😄

[Gabilan]

I don't understand why we have to 'save water'. Rain is plentiful in the UK

But that water has to be collected in reservoirs, transferred to a purification station, purified and then piped to your home. It an intensive process that uses a large amount of energy. That's why I'm careful how much I use.

It's an individual thing though. I cycle everywhere in a very hilly environment but I don't sweat much except in hot weather. Also, so long as people don't actually honk of stale sweat I don't mind if they smell like humans. I do mind clouds of artificial perfumes. They give me a headache. Bleeurgh.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"The shower is weird - it runs off a loud motor in the airing cupboard on the landing. DH loves it as gives a nice powerful shower."
Can you look into insulating the cupboard? Ours has a couple of inches of foam which really muffles the sound of the motor.

[Hereforthebeer]

Control frEAK.

let the poor guy shower when he wants.

[InsaneDame]

I do let him shower when he wants, it just annoys me....

[JennyOnAPlate]

It's completely rank not to shower in the morning, especially in this hot weather!

[Gabilan]

really people are at work all day and they go to bed without a shower

Yes, really. It's work. It's not dirty. I don't sweat like a pig whilst doing an office job.

[Doinmummy]

If I don't shower in the morning then for some reason my hands never feel clean , no matter how many times I wash I them throughout the day !

[InsaneDame]

Those saying maybe DH wants me to shower more - we have an honest marriage and communicate well so if that were the case he would just tell me. I completely accept and agree that a shower/bath in the evening is necessary but still don't accept that a morning one is..... Unless you have just worked a night shift and are about to go to bed!

[WhatTheActualFugg]

OP you should think yourself lucky. At least he's not scratching his arse with loo roll before getting in to bed then stuffing the dirty tissue in his bedside drawer! (see spunk sock thread)

Your DH sounds lovely and clean. (yum!)

[DinosaursRoar]

OP - do you think it annoys you because you judge it as unnecassary, but fear that actually, it might be that he sees it as necessary, and you see his decision to shower as a sign he must be deep down thinks you should shower in the mornings? (Bit like the people who get really wound up by non-drinkers, as if their choice not to drink must be seen that they view themselves as better than the drinker, even if they've not said anything about it at all.)

Some people do get very very wound up by people making different choices to them, that by the very act of picking to do something different they are telling you that you are wrong. (this does seem to be amplified if the other choice is sometimes viewed as 'better' or 'harder' by society)

Think carefully, if you are doing this, then you need to stop yourself, he is chosing to wash to a level that suits him, (and as others have said, is probably showering for other reasons than just cleanliness like relaxing) it is not a sign he thinks your routine is wrong for you, and make sure you aren't taking umbridge at other people making other different choices to you that in no way effect you.

My parents believe there are 2 ways to do anything in life, their way and the wrong way. They find it very hard to accept people making different choices to them when they have the same options. It's like it offends them, and something as petty as washing habits would get them wound up - my mum has told her own sister off for hoovering a wooden floor in said sister's own home because my mum would have swept it with a brush. I had to hear about it a week later. My mum views the hoover for carpets only and wooden or tiled floors are swept then moped. It was not her way and really really annoyed her because it was not the way she'd do it and so had to be corrected, and by refusing to be corrected, my Aunt clearly was picking a fight with my mum by effectively telling my Mum she wasn't cleaning her floors properly. My Aunt was just cleaning up the dust the way she wanted to.

[Doinmummy]

I've just hit the menopause and after a night of sweating buckets ,
I can't wait to have a shower when I get out of bed in the morning .

[MeeWhoo]

Since you say you understand the after work one, I'll explain the morning shower to you: morning showers are absolutely necessary for waking up fully purposes, regardless of cleanliness levels.

I am not fully human until I've had a shower, it is more important than coffee even (and I luuurve my coffee!). On the day when I have to delay my shower because the cleaner is here, I just feel like going back to bed and not doing anything all day. I just can't do anything productive until I've had a shower.

[Ankleswingers]

What MeeWhoo said

[PassiveAgressiveQueen]

I sweat in bed overnight, and at work during the day, sounds sensible to me

[dudsville]

You don't need to worry if it's unnecessary. It's what he does. No big deal.

[Mcchickenbb41]

Hi op I get up ten minutes earlier in the morning to have my shower before the madness of the day starts. For me it's not just about being clean it's a bit of me time too. Maybe for your dh it's the same kind off thing ?

[DrFoxtrot]

YABU he can shower as often as he sees fit to make him feel comfortable.

But I'm mainly a one shower a day person, two only if I've exercised or very sweaty. How on earth do people having three showers a day regularly cope with the damp towel situation?! There must be used slightly damp towels that can't be used again for the second or third shower of the day, meaning you need a fresh towel and creating a dirty towel mountain

[newname99]

I love a morning shower as it makes me wake up, maybe it's the same for your dh? I think everyone is different, some people don't feel fresh after 8hours in a warm bed.

There is no one rule for everyone although I would prefer a partner who showers more than less.

[Theoretician]

There are four showers a day in this house, two of them are mine. We are on a meter. The daily water consumption works out at 97p. I think we can afford it.

[Theoretician]

That's 97p for all water used, not just the showers.

[hollinhurst84]

Each to their own really. I usually just shower once a day. Today I've been out and about, it's hot and I can tell I need a shower. In bed by myself but if I wasn't I would have had one before going to bed
Sometimes it's every other day, sometimes twice a day for me

[bloodyteenagers]

I shower twice a day. I had one before we went out. Then about a hour ago I had another shower. I am dripping in sweat. So no way am I going out tomorrow without a shower.
A regular work day, I shower when I wake because I am sweating loads, even in winter. I shower when I come home because I work in a physically demanding job and I live and work in London, so I like to wash the streets of London away.

[Underbeneathsies]

I love a quick shower before I hop into bed.
I use very little water (wet myself, turn off water, and use moisturiser all over with lavender oil in it, then rinse off.).

In the morning I use a lemony grapefruit gel. And not much water again, wet body, turn off water, lather up with cloth, and then rinse off.

For me a shower is like a punctuation mark.

End of day "full stop" shower is relaxing, and then the "Capital Letter" wake up shower is invigorating. I use about a bucket of water each time.

Op I think you've been given some excellent food for thought here, especially DinosaursRoars analysis. Snaps to you Dino!

It is strange to be irritated. Maybe you're too hot?