Need xx. Must be in good condition and suitable for a boy/girl

[NeedACleverNN]

What is with these posts on FB?

People keep posting they need a bumbo, buggy, high chair, swing. It must be in excellent condition and suitable for a boy/girl.

If someone comments and it's the wrong colour, even if free, they immediately get told "i need it for a boy!"

Would it really kill your boy to sit on a pink high chair or damage your daughter femininity to sit in a blur bumbo?

In addition to Lavender's 'Chester Draws', saw one recently for 'Currtings' (which one can only assume is curtains?!)

Back in the day (pre FB and Freecycle) I was helping at a jumble sale in aid of our playgroup. A woman held up a jumper and said "do you have this in a size 12?"
Was v miffed when I suggested she check for herself.

Slightly off-thread, I know.

Got my bumbo for a fiver in a charity shop. My DS now uses it. We bought a gender neutral trike on the off chance we may one day have a boy

Meant to say- pink bumbo

re the boy/girl thing, some people still want to have boys stuff for boys and girls stuff for girls. Some girls and boys want girl and boy stuff.

the gender neutral parenting thing is a new movement and not one everyone has to buy into. If I have a kid and want girly stuff for a girl and boy things for a boy, that's not wrong. It's a personal choice. The people who want gendered things are as right in their choices as the people who don't want gendered things.

What really gets my back up is how rude some of the emails ive received when offering things on free cycle, one man just sent an email with the word yes
I was like, errrrr no!
And the amount of people who have turned up to collect free items complaining about my house being hard to find, or not even saying thank you. Also people who have been "desperate" for my baby's clothes I often put on there but their reply emails are always "sent from my iPhone or iPad"

Also people who have been "desperate" for my baby's clothes I often put on there but their reply emails are always "sent from my iPhone or iPad"

What's wrong with that? It's cheaper to have an iPhone or iPad than to have an Internet subscription at home sometimes, as can access internet without having a data plan by using places with free wifi, and people do need to have a way of communicating and getting online. Just because someone's got an I-thing of some sort doesn't mean they're not struggling for money.

people who want gendered things are as right in their choices as the people who don't want gendered things.

For clothes that's fair enough, but selling a perfectly good navy buggy because a girl can't use it or insisting on a pink rather than white high chair is a bit stupid.

Well if thats the case then I apologise, I'm not an iPhone iPad user so I wouldnt know. However I dont apologise for thinking that having that at the end of a "desperate for" email doesn't really conjour up images of struggling for me.

What's a bumbo? (looks away, feeling shamefully iggerant . . . )

myname I also need to have a phone with Internet access for my job. I'm sure many many people also do. I'd get fired if I never answered calls or emails outside of working hours or during working hours when I'm working offsite. So maybe selling the iPhone or iPad would give them money for clothes, but cost them a job.

Bumbo

Re gender colours - comparatively recent (a) because most people couldn't afford to choose (b) historically red dye was more expensive and saved for male children and blue was associated with the Virgin Mary and therefore for girls. Pink for girls is just a social construct - remember the pink pens for women brought out a few years ago by a well known firm (just more expensive than bog-standard ones. Try this

Totally - did no just reply "Yes, thank you. But it's kind of you to ask."?

This does make me angry too, only because I really have been stuck before. due to several things happening, I found myself homeless with absolutely nothing, and I still couldn't find it in me to ask for anything. Before I lost them my mum and dad drilled into me that you only buy what you can pay for, and nothing else! (Think this goes back to when most people got everything on the never-never! But being homeless with a newborn and no partner to help out leaves you very stuck, and some lovely lady helped me find a shelter to stay in and said that she would help me find a cot.
We went to this Church group, (I am not religious at all but I really needed help!) and afterwards the lady and some of the other folk took me round to the back of the church where they had loads of donated things for charities, and they told me to take what I needed.
I could have had a field day. There was everything there, from gorgeous piles of shaggy rugs, to brand new sofas, tents, televisions, you name it, it was like a posh charity shop lol. In the end all I asked for was a little camping telly and a cot for my baby and they also gave me a duvet and a mini fridge! I was so gobsmacked to have this help, that now I like donating whatever I can, however there are so many out there who just want the free stuff to make a few quid, and don't care that there might actually be someone who is in dire straits. x

This piece of work that lives near me was given our almost new jogging buggy. Which we could have got probably over £100 for at the local consignment shop. Never had a 'thank you' just "oh I see you kept the one with the wheel that turns easier" and then a week later and email with a link to their baby registry when they didn't even bother to have a shower just asked for the gifts.

Fast forward to the new baby they're expecting and my other friend and I are taking about how she's giving all of her old baby stuff to a girl who's really really hard up and other girl butts in saying "don't give her an infant car seat of you have one. We need one for the new baby."

I ask if they don't have one already and she says "yes but it's purple. You can have a boy in purple."

I point out that ds actually has a lot of pink stuff. If you're struggling and it's free then does it matter. And does it matter anyway? Ds looks good in pink. She responds with "yes well that could turn out dangerously for you."

Can't have a boy in purple not 'can'.

I've had one this evening wanting an electric cooker in excellent condition for free or cheap (as she has two young children) but must be delivered as she doesn't drive....

She doesn't mention the hulking brute of a partner that appears in all her FB pictures, presumably he doesn't drive either or is incapable of sourcing/paying for/picking up a cooker either?

I shared a flat for 6 years with no cooker and ate in every day.

Amongst a post asking for a lazy spa and a patio heater (from the same person might I add) I found this:

"If anyone has an old or spare garden hose that they no longer need I would appreciate if you could possibly think of me. I have 7yr old twins & they were brought a paddling pool but I have no way of filling it & they are
desperate to go in it especially in the holidays and in this heat + we won't be able to afford a holiday this year so would at least like them to have the padding pool in the garden"

Now I have no problem with someone asking for a hose. However I don't understand the need for begging and the use of kids and no holiday to try and pull on heartstrings, especially when they can actually fill it up with a saucepan or something.

minatiae
I also have a works phone although it's not an iPhone. I suppose the way I feel stems from knowing at least five people off the top of my head who are rocking brand new iPhones (not for work either) yet clog up the freedom sites on Facebook with the exact kind of things that have been talked about on here. The last time I looked at having an iPhone the contract was in excess of 40.00 per month. They always have their nails done, manage most Friday and Saturday nights out yet always seem to be in "need" of something. It's off-putting because I then question these emails as said before.

Twice, when if have sold stuff on ebay, inhave received messages from people (same person?) giving me a sob story about how they were going though hard times. I'm not sure whether they were expecting me to send them free to,them. I ignored them but was tempted to send a reply saying that if they wanted the items, then put a bid in.

228 this has happened to me on gumtree several times with DD old tablet and a few other items. With the tablet it was so they could give it to their child who would absolutely love it, I felt slightly bad but did say no, as I'm pretty sure it would have been sold, same with out travel system we had a couple practically begging for it for free. It cost us a fortune new and I was called a callous bitch when I said no!

"
the gender neutral parenting thing is a new movement "
Ime it's the opposite. I was born in the 80s and the pink crap movement hadn't taken over. Yes I had some pink things but the majority of my clothes and toys were assorted colours.