To think 17 and 43 is wrong?

[Beyinbonnet]

So a relation has started seeing a 17 year old (16 when started) they are now engaged, living together and she's pregnant!!! AIBU to think this is wrong?! All in the space of 7 month?!

I'm sorry but this just unsettles me!! I know it's not really my business but it's really got to me! Fair enough be seeing each other but FML!!!

As squoosh said, it may be legal but it's still gross.

It can work. My best friend got together with a 55-year old when she was 17 (15 years ago) and I've never seen a happier couple. Married, kid and everything. He's absolutely not her 'father figure' either, they have a very balanced relationship.

Gross. I'm in my forties and to me a 17 year old is a kid, not someone I'd want to have a child with. Yuck.

I find it Pervy if I'm honest I can't understand why any adult man or woman would want to have a sexual relationship with what I still class as kid. Teenagers in my eyes are still kids.

In this case it's a man so to me he isn't quite right in the head.! What can he have in common with a teenage girl..??

I don't care if it's legal it's revolting and creepy as fuck. I have DC in their late teens and early twenties and I would be appalled if they went out with someone so much older. I would be even more horrified about the pregnancy. If it was a planned pregnancy then that ups the creepy/disgusting stakes even higher as any 'normal' 43 year old would know what a stupid idea it is.

It's completely different if the younger partner was a good bit older.

I think it's horribly selfish to trap her like that. She's not had a chance at independence, study, travel etc.

Also I suspect it's probably gross and pervy, but without knowing them it's hard to be sure on that.

I was 22 when I got together with my late DH who was 57. I posted about it on here once and was told It was disgusting!

My best friend got together with a 55-year old when she was 17

.

He probably feels very threatened by adult women, he's never managed to marry one or have any children and he's middle aged.

I feel a bit sorry for him actually if he needs to be with a seventeen year old in order not to feel emasculated.

The girl is young, she will in all probability leave him within the next decade and get in with the rest of her life.

He'll be a dried up husk of a man in late middle age who couldn't capture the attention of his peers and settled for an ill fated union with a child. He'll be a laughing stock.

Poor man.

I suppose it depends in the individual relationship, but in general it does seem a bit uncomfortable.

Partly I'd be concerned about how long the man had known the girl. If he's been around while she was growing up, I would find that incredibly creepy to be honest.

I honestly cannot get my head around anyone being ok with this relationship. They are simply not equals and I honestly don't believe there is a 17 year old emotionally mature enough out there to be with a 47 year old.

In theory, I don't think big age gaps are a problem, but it troubles me when one of the parties is extremely young.

When she was 17 years old, my sister got into a relationship with a 37 year old, which quickly became emotionally, financially and physically abusive. She managed to get out eventually, but not before she had suffered massive harm. She discovered him cheating on her with - yep - another seventeen year old. By this point she was in her early twenties and had started studying at university, so maybe he decided it was time to trade her in for a younger (and more vulnerable) model.

He's only two years younger than me. To me a 17 year is a child to whom I have a duty of care.

Yes, Manon, I'm 33 and feel exactly the same about 17 year old boys. Wouldn't enter my head to see them as a sexual prospect.

17 with a 55 year old! So she's now 32, in her prime, and he's 70!? I can certainly see why he's v happy, her not so much.

I don't care which way round it is or how insensitive or politically incorrect I am. No just no.

Huge age gaps (16/17 years plus) very rarely breed good relationships and I think the younger the youngest partner the more likely it is to end badly.

If someone is old enough to be your legal parent it hits creepy zone for me.

Just ewwww

My 17 yo stepd has just said "errr that's disgusting, he's an old man like dad" (dh is 45). Lol

She thinks anyone over 24 is old and anyone over 40 is just disgusting and irrelevant. I'm off to throw her in the paddling pool! Cheeky little git!

Well sorry to shock you, but the only reason why my friend isn't happy is because none of her family members are talking to her anymore.
I'm in no doubt whatsoever that they are made for each other and there's nothing abusive going on there.

It may be legal but it's disturbing and feels all sorts of wrong. A 17 year old is still a child in many many ways no matter how mature they may appear. Too young to have a child and I do wonder how equal a relationship with such an age gap would be. I suspect the bloke needs to be the dominant one and doesn't have the maturity or emotional intelligence for a relationship with someone around his age. So a non-threatening, child-woman, who you can treat like a daughter, might be very appealing. i can't imagine how her parents can feel OK about this.

It may be legal but morally very wrong.

She's still a child in the eyes of the law, what man wants to date a child?

They both sound as bad as each other, both should know better and bringing an innocent child into a short term dating relationship is a recipe for disaster. Poor child.

When I was young a friend at 17 had a relationship with a bloke in his late 40's. He was short, bald with a beer belly. His DC's were older than her. My younger self and many others wondered how she could have sex with him. She was stunning and confident but had daddy/abandonment issues and andwanted to be taken care of.

Luckily it only lasted a year with no babies as she realised she was too young and wanted to party.

So i do think a man in his 40's dating a 16/17 yo is weird.

However - is their any evidence that he "got" her pregnant as opposed to their chose to get pregnant, thry had an accidient, she deliberatly got pregnant against his wishes? She wouldn't be the first female to stop taking contraceptives in the belief it would keep a guy.

However to reiterate i would be v unhappy if this had been my sister at 16/17 and i have a step mom simialr in age to myself

Also at 16 you can legally have sex (so babies may follow), marry (with parental consent)

You don't need parental consent in Scotland. You are free to leave home and get married at 16.