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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To eat cake in front of friends who are on a diet?

101 replies

FireLamp · 21/07/2016 19:17

I made friends with 3 other mums at baby-yoga and we all went for coffee afterwards. In the queue, I recommended the cakes from this particular coffee shop and they all laughed and said they couldn't eat cake as they were trying to lose baby-weight. One added that she is diabetic. They ordered skinny-lattes/flat whites and I ordered a frescato thing with cream and a slice of chocolate cake, without thinking anything of it. I'm underweight and find it hard to gain any, so I always get cake and high-calorie drinks.

They all watched me eat it and kept making slightly sarcastic comments (eg must be nice to be able to eat cake, that cake looks amazing etc) and I started to feel like I'd commited a faux-pass Blush

Was I insensitive? Should I have just ordered a drink? Please be honest, as this is likely to be a weekly thing and I don't want to upset anyone.

If you were on a diet, would it upset you if a friend ate cake in front of you?

OP posts:
fitzbilly · 21/07/2016 19:19

Order and eat what you want, that's what I would do.

fitzbilly · 21/07/2016 19:21

I never thought I would upset a dieter by ordering what I want. I'm sure there comments were not meant to upset you.

user1468138738 · 21/07/2016 19:21

Urgh, People who make comments about what others eat should be beaten with whisks.

I'm on a healthy diet, every one at work eats chips every lunch, usually with some kebab meat or pakora. I eat my chicken salad wrap. I also shut the fuck up.

Next time they comment, make intense eye contact, lick your spoon/fork and moan in a guttural tone. They'll soon shut up.

UmbongoUnchained · 21/07/2016 19:22

No not at all. They're adults, I'm sure they have enough self control to not go into a frenzy. Mumsnet is weird though and a lot of people will probably say you were being unreasonable. I'd have ate 2 slices.

GeekyWombat · 21/07/2016 19:22

I wouldn't be upset. Eat what you like.

molyholy · 21/07/2016 19:22

I am on a healthy eating regime and would have got a skinny latte and it wouldn't have bothered me in the least to see ypu eating full fat/full flavour food. They probably thought they were being funny. Take no notice and enjoy.

eggsontoast07 · 21/07/2016 19:23

I echo Fitzbilly.

GeekyWombat · 21/07/2016 19:24

@user The last office I worked in there was a guy who would walk up to my desk, sniff the air dramatically and then say really loudly 'pickled onion Monster Munch?' or 'Steak McCoys' or whatever crisps I was eating.

I could never work out whether he was being passive aggressive about smelly crisps, jealous that I was eating them or making a hint that I shoulld offer him one But every time he said it I had an irrational urge to beat him to death with my shoe.

eggsontoast07 · 21/07/2016 19:24

For the record, I cannot stand people commenting on what others are eating...

SpinnakerInTheEther · 21/07/2016 19:26

No, it would not upset me. If you are on a diet you just have to get used to things like cakes being around you and others eating them. I could take the choice to, feel quietly smug at my self control and healthy (for me) choices.
But they are wrong to make pointed comments, your health and dietary needs are just different. Being somewhat fatter than underweight, myself, I like to muse how inexpensive my lesser food needs are....I like looking on the bright side.

icouldabeenacontender · 21/07/2016 19:27

I agree with the 'beaten with whisks' philosophy.
Eat what you like.

Pinkheart5915 · 21/07/2016 19:28

They might be on diets but your not. You are an adult and can order and enjoy whatever you wish.

I can stand it when people comment on other peoples food ( it must be nice to eat that, do you know how many calories, etc ) blooming annoying

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 21/07/2016 19:28

Yanbu! How odd of them. Were they maybe trying to do it in a jokey way?

LaurieFairyCake · 21/07/2016 19:28

You should be able to eat whatever you like but these are 3 people you barely know.

I will take a guess that if you continue you will be Wendied out and they will be meeting over their black coffees without you.

Give it one more go. If they continue to be rude just drop them.

BackforGood · 21/07/2016 19:30

They don't sound like sarcastic comments to me - just 'chat'.
No, YANBU to order what you want.

Onesieisthequeensselfie · 21/07/2016 19:31

Flowers for you OP. Sometimes people say things to be "funny" in a social context not always realising the impact it might have secretly.

Have confidence and keep eating cake!

2016Bambino · 21/07/2016 19:31

I'm on a diet and it wouldn't bother me at all.

rugbychick1 · 21/07/2016 19:32

I'm currently dieting, and it wouldn't bother me at all if someone ate cake etc in front of me

Bishybishybarnabee · 21/07/2016 19:32

I'm a type 1 diabetic on a diet, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Bails2014 · 21/07/2016 19:33

They were being rude to not try the yummy cake you recommended!!

Voddy4 · 21/07/2016 19:34

Sounds like they're just jealous. Eat and order what you want and enjoy the cake!

SonicSpotlight · 21/07/2016 19:36

You weren't rude. Saying that, if no one else ordered food I wouldn't have ordered food and would have just ordered a drink. If no one else in a group orders a starter I wouldn't order one either.

jobrum · 21/07/2016 19:38

Yep, jealous and hungry. I worked with someone like this. It's their problem not yours. If it happens again just agree with them: "yes, the cake is really good!"

PurpleDaisies · 21/07/2016 19:39

You didn't do anything wrong. Te not to worry about it.

facepalming · 21/07/2016 19:39

You should eat and drink what you like of course!! I'm sorry you struggle to gain weight - must be tough when other people are jealous.

I wonder if they were trying (and clearly failing!) to pay you a compliment?

I hope they didn't put you off your cake!!

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