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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To eat cake in front of friends who are on a diet?

101 replies

FireLamp · 21/07/2016 19:17

I made friends with 3 other mums at baby-yoga and we all went for coffee afterwards. In the queue, I recommended the cakes from this particular coffee shop and they all laughed and said they couldn't eat cake as they were trying to lose baby-weight. One added that she is diabetic. They ordered skinny-lattes/flat whites and I ordered a frescato thing with cream and a slice of chocolate cake, without thinking anything of it. I'm underweight and find it hard to gain any, so I always get cake and high-calorie drinks.

They all watched me eat it and kept making slightly sarcastic comments (eg must be nice to be able to eat cake, that cake looks amazing etc) and I started to feel like I'd commited a faux-pass Blush

Was I insensitive? Should I have just ordered a drink? Please be honest, as this is likely to be a weekly thing and I don't want to upset anyone.

If you were on a diet, would it upset you if a friend ate cake in front of you?

OP posts:
NeonPinkNails · 21/07/2016 20:18

Going against the grain but when I'm on a diet again I miss stuff that I 'shouldn't' have like cake loads and it would be difficult not to mind if someone else had some in front of me. I find it hard to believe everyone who says it wouldn't bother them. But I'd do my best not to make the person having cake feel uncomfortable because it's completely my issue and nothing to do with them.

And despite that I do sympathise with you because I have a friend who finds it as hard to put on weight as I do to lose it. Neither is a 'lucky' place to be in.

Onesieisthequeensselfie · 21/07/2016 20:19

I'd do my best not to make the person having cake feel uncomfortable because it's completely my issue and nothing to do with them.

Exactly this.

Alconleigh · 21/07/2016 20:22

They sound very tedious. Appreciate it can be any port in a storm with post baby friends, but I wouldn't over invest emotionally in people who wang on about diets all the time.

Especially when they probably go home and binge eat shite when no one can see them.

TopazRocks · 21/07/2016 20:24

Rereading the OP, i think there is something in you being very slim. In a brief spell when i lost a lot of weight a few years ago, i noticed other people were obsessed with my weight. It's a kind of envy I think. With a touch of prurience chucked in. Folk are just weird IMO - and often very rude!

TaIkinPeace · 21/07/2016 20:27

Your friends are being daft.

I do not eat chocolate.
That is my choice.
If the person whose company I choose to keep wants to eat chocolate, that is up to them so long as I do not have to smell it as I loathe the stuff

If they are trying to lose weight, part of the path is to understand that they need to want slim more than they want cake
if they care less for your company than they do cake ........

Applejack29 · 21/07/2016 20:28

Eaten with whisks Grin

Gabilan · 21/07/2016 20:28

I do wish people would stfu about what other people eat. It's a coffee shop. Eat the cake.

Applejack29 · 21/07/2016 20:29

**beaten Blush either may be apt though Grin

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 21/07/2016 20:29

I wouldn't get cake and cream, no. Just because it's might make them feel yearny IYSWIM.

A nice understated oatmeal biscuit would be fine.

StrangeLookingParasite · 21/07/2016 20:37

Urgh, People who make comments about what others eat should be beaten with whisks.

Yes to this. And it's entirely their issue. I think it's rude to make anything other than positive comments about what someone's eating - eg, that looks delicious.

Gabilan · 21/07/2016 20:39

Well that's pointless. You shouldn't have to adapt your eating habits because of other people's hang ups. And oatmeal biscuits aren't necessarily healthier than cake.

Rainbunny · 21/07/2016 21:17

Of course you should eat and drink what you want. You don't have a responsibility to hide sweet food from your friends, they probably don't know how judgey/annoying they sound because they're envious and wish they could eat like you.

I once had a colleague complain to me (and she was very serious not joking) that it was unfair that I liked salads! As though liking salads was some lucky accident of fate that she had been denied...! She then followed it up with saying I ate salads too much and she was tired of seeing it (I ate lunch mostly at my desk, facing away from her...) My love of salad really bothered her now I think about it...

yellowsunlight · 21/07/2016 21:31

YANBU. They get to order what they like and so do you!! I'm on a diet and it wouldn't bother me.
What does bother me though is someone in my office who constantly buys communal cakes/crisps/biscuits and says 'ooo sorry to all those on a diet'. Then later 'go on have a bit' 'one piece won't hurt'. Like she wants me to fail...my willpower isn't great as it is without her 'help'!

marblestatue · 21/07/2016 21:41

YANBU. They weren't being deprived of cake, they made a choice not to have it.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 21/07/2016 21:43

I'm on a diet and I would find it really hard to sit at a table watching someone else enjoying a nice big piece of chocolate cake! But I wouldn't try to make them feel bad. I would probably salivate and groan a bit though :)

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 21/07/2016 21:48

Oh hangry jealous bitches it seems
U eat that cake with pride lol

LobsterQuadrille · 21/07/2016 22:00

I'm a recovering alcoholic and perfectly happy to frequent pubs and to drink soft drinks while others drink whatever they want. I would feel extremely uncomfortable if the beer and wine drinkers among us thought that they should change their drinking habits to reflect mine!!

Of course you should eat cake.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 21/07/2016 22:02

If you were on a diet, would it upset you if a friend ate cake in front of you?

Possibly. Depending on how unreasonable I was feeling that day.

But you would never know it. Because it would be my problem, not yours. Smile

Keep on eating cake. Cake

Jelliebabe1 · 21/07/2016 22:18

Fuck em! I'm always on a diet and wouldn't expect ANYONE to make any changes!!!

BengalCatMum · 21/07/2016 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smurfit · 21/07/2016 22:22

I was on a pretty restrictive diet for a while, it didn't bother me when people had stuff I couldn't eat but it did make it a bit harder (esp if I was in a craving cycle) and I would comment I was sad because I couldn't have it too. I didn't however, have any expectation that people wouldn't eat whatever they wanted around me because it's my dietary change, not theirs.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/07/2016 22:24

Eat the cake, eat some more, have some extra cream on your drink too..

As long as you are just eating your cake, you are not, pinning htem down and force feeding THEM the nasty evil cakeses... then theres no problem, they are being pissferrets and should STFU.

If you ARE pinning people down and force feeding them cake - well.. feel free to pop to mine ... i am fat as fuck but if you force feed me it well.. not my fault. whatawaytodie :D :D

junebirthdaygirl · 22/07/2016 00:38

I was listening to a thing on the radio today about women who were asked what they most wanted in a friend. The number one was someone who supported you when you were on a diet. Just saying!

Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp · 22/07/2016 00:42

Next time ham it up a bit more and make orgasmic noises, lots of lip smacking etc.

Eat what you want and don't let anyone make you feel bad. I personally couldn't give a shit if someone wants the diet/high fat option. I only care about what im getting Smile

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/07/2016 00:49

YDNBU. No one is forcing these idiots to go on a diet. Least of all your good self.
You enjoy your bloody cake