To ask what the weirdest thing you've done while sleep deprived is? *lighthearted*

[BoopTheSnoot]

Almost all of us have been there, haven't we? You've been up all night with the DC and in the haze of being utterly knackered, done something strange.
I'm currently up with DS2 (9 weeks) and on my way to the kitchen to get a drink I walked smack into the door frame.
Yesterday the chap who came to read our gas/electricity meters asked if he could have a quick cold drink as it was so hot out. He looked fairly surprised to be offered a nicely chilled bottle of expressed breast milk. Quickly realised my mistake and offered him a can of Fanta as an alternative.
So what's the most bizarre/funniest thing you've done while running on very little sleep?

A few nights after our wedding and then a long haul flight, jet lag etc, I think everything must have caught with me. I woke up on the hotel room floor surrounded by shards of glass, having just ran through a glass coffee table! Thankfully I got away with just bruises but it could have been a different story.

I almost ate a tablet of dishwasher detergent. When DD was a baby I was so tired I would sort of drift off in the evening while I was doing the housework and have these hallucinations.

Once I was changing the our bed linen and I thought I'd lost the baby amongst it. DH found me crawling around inside the king size duvet cover frantically trying to recover an infant who was asleep in her Moses basket the whole time.

Then there was the time I was loading the dishwasher before bed. I drifted off and started dreaming that I was eating sweets. When I snapped back to reality I was about to bite into a Finish tablet.

It was a strange period in my life.

Answered the phone to the HV "oh it's so lovely to hear from you, I'd been wondering how everything was going but didn't want to pester you".

Wrong Katie

Forgotten 18mo dd's name. An old lady at the bus stop asked me and I couldn't remember.
Not gone to work on a Monday because I thought it was Sunday.
Not that any of this was funny at the time!

I kissed a cold bottle of water...because it was sooo hot and it looked so lovely!!!5 days ago, DS2 is 2 weeks old today

I bought some pork, potatoes, carrots, and chocolate from the supermarket. Walked in the house, chucked all of it straight in the bin and then spent an hour looking for my food. That was an interesting day!!

I got in the car, reversed it into my husbands car, decided I shouldn't go shopping and went to bed.

Walked into bedroom. Gently picked up the cat and placed him on my shoulder to wind him. Carefully laid the cat down on the changing table.

I came to just before nappy change.

Took the toaster into the bathroom with me for my shower. DS was 2wks old. I was a dilirious dpace cadet! Luckily DH was there to laugh at me point out wtf i was doing. We still laugh about it.

Put a whole chicken, wrapping and all, in the oven to cook. Ten minutes later tried to work out what the awful smell was.

I was walking home on a village road and stopped at a stop sign. Like I was a carZ
Then that night I got into the bath tub with my socks on.

I was so tired ! X

Tried to put a bib on DH while he was sleeping the other day. DD1 is 12 weeks old.

Ha ha ha! I've put a bib on my DH as well and reversed my car straight into someone else's.

These are brilliant. When my eldest (now two) was newborn, he was a really bad sleeper and had a feed every hour and a half!
DH knew it was time to give me a night off when I stood trying to figure out why I couldn't get the kettle to fit in the fridge.

Conceived DC3

Not weird but silly, walked into the bathroom to find DP just about to put his washing down the toilet! Luckily he hadnt peed in the laundrey basket

Quite a few times, one of us would wake up to the other looking for DS in the bed when he was fast asleep in his cot, on one occasion DP says "where is he?" Me"asleep in his cot" DP "and the other two?", we have 1 DC

The first was down to a very bad head cold that arrived at the height of the allergy season. Pretty much no sleep for a week with a nose that felt like a colony of soggy ants were living in it.
I remember in the middle of one horrible night I blundered into the bathroom looking for anything anything that might help me.
I found a tube of mouth ulcer gell. In my truly addled state I reasoned that as it contained lidocaine it might just deaden all sensation up there. Yes, I squeezed it up my nose.
It may have hurt quite a lot. However after ten minutes of crying I lost all feeling inside my nose and managed a few hours sleep. Hey ho.
At the worst of the child related sleep deprivation my kitchen was permanently full of cups with tea bags in, cold cups of tea, the microwave had a cup of tea in it that I'd reheated and then forgotten about.
I mostly just burst into tears a lot, one of which was caused by me forgetting how to use my phone as I was so bloody tired. I remember my then 4 year old saying to my then not quite 1 year old "Mummy is sad today, lets play quietly."
Oh the guilt.

I've washed my face with my glasses still on. It was when DD was in hospital 21 months ago and I'd been awake for almost 48 hours and I was so tired I felt drunk. That was a dark time.

Not as good as the cat one, but I scooped up ds after a bath, put him on the changing table, put on his nappy etc.

Was interrupted by ds saying "errr, mum?"
He was about 5 at the time.

My dcs love to tell the story of the time I handed dh the milk and gave the baby a bottle of beer!

I always have a cup of tea and a glass of orange juice in the mornings. When Dd was newborn, I made the tea, all the way up to putting the milk in. Got the milk and the orange juice out of the fridge, and proceeded to pour the milk in the empty glass and the orange juice in my tea
And the worst part was, I couldn't be arsed to make another cup of tea, so I tasted it to see if it was fit for human consumption....which it most definitely was not!

Put baby formula in my coffee instead of powdered creamer.

Absolute panic that I had left DD behind at the shops when I was confronted with an empty car seat. Dashed inside to grab purse, to see her asleep in the moses basket. DD is 8 weeks old. I also have a 3 year old, so everything is done on auto pilot.

Stowed my carpark ticket carefully in my handbag and chucked my car keys on the dashboard, then took baby dd swimming for an hour. Car was still there when we got back, luckily

Refused to take baby ds at 8 weeks old to baby group in case all the babies fought.