To ask what the weirdest thing you've done while sleep deprived is? *lighthearted*

[BoopTheSnoot]

Almost all of us have been there, haven't we? You've been up all night with the DC and in the haze of being utterly knackered, done something strange.
I'm currently up with DS2 (9 weeks) and on my way to the kitchen to get a drink I walked smack into the door frame.
Yesterday the chap who came to read our gas/electricity meters asked if he could have a quick cold drink as it was so hot out. He looked fairly surprised to be offered a nicely chilled bottle of expressed breast milk. Quickly realised my mistake and offered him a can of Fanta as an alternative.
So what's the most bizarre/funniest thing you've done while running on very little sleep?

oh my goodness too many too list!

signed one of my twins in to a group under a completely different name (not even one id considered!)
yelled at the self scanner in the shop as it kept beeping when I put my shopping in the bag. 6 times I tried before the lady informed me it might be a good idea to scan the shopping first!
forgotten my children's names
fed the child that wasn't crying
looked for cheese in a shop after walking up and down the cheese aisle for 20 min, asked person working in shop and they were like yeah its there!
lost everything I own!
washed a nappy
drank coffee made with cold tap water
someone asked me to text them my birthday and I text them the wrong day
to be fair we have disabled twins and are massively sleep deprived and if I remember my own name it is a good day

There were many mornings I found myself spooning cat food out of the tin straight into the bin, watched by a very grumpy looking cat.

I was very tired after going 3 days without sleep (not baby related at all ) I went to see my Mum &sister who still lived at home. I sat in Mum's rocking chair & somehow rocked so hard the chair flipped me up & over the back &i onto the floor. I thought it was hysterically funny & couldn't stop laughing. Mum & sis did not & thought I was drunk. That's what it felt like actually. Very weird sensation

I thought DH's arm was DS and kept trying to pick it up while he was asleep.

I poured milk into the washing machine drawer instead of detergent.
Lost my car in a multi story car park and cried. I had got out of the lift on wrong floor!
Locked DD in my car with keys/phone/handbag. (car is old so no central locking.)
Have thrown my phone in the bin on more than one occasion.
Most recently I left to do school pick up an hour early.

After 60 odd hours of no sleep after my labour with dd, still in hospital, I shuffle to the loo and use the handy pack of wipes that were on the cistern to wipe my sore nether regions.

They were a pack of hospital grade disinfectant wipes.

Hurt. Like. Fuck.

Boop - I put the kettle in the fridge! Didn't realise for 2 hours!
Also have forgotten DC name when asked.
When asked how old I was I said 19 -I was 33!!

Made coffee with gravy granules. Bleugh!

In hospital, holding the baby and sat down on a chair that did not exist. That one really fucking hurt!!!

Ooh Whizz that has brought years to my eyes! Your poor foof just after giving birth!

Thought my DD was a kitten and that her wee hands were claws.

Went out with a baby and toddler for the day and left the front door wide open.

Ah yes data that reminds me I left the keys in the lock! So on several occasions I had passers by knocking the door to ask me if I knew I'd left my bunch of keys dangling out of the lock! Thank god nobody unscrupulous ever took advantage as they could have just walked in!

The other day ds2 (18weeks) was ill so I got an oral syringe of calpol went into the living room gave ds the calpol and noticed dh giving me a funny look. I'd given the calpol to ds1 (2.9 years). Thank God I didn't give ds1s dose to ds2.
The next day ds2 was no better so I booked a drs appointment got to the drs and I'd booked an appointment for ds1 not ds2. The Dr just laughed.

Also when I was pg with ds2 dh had the music on in the car and I thought it was a bit loud for ds1s little ears so I put the car window down to let some of the music out. It took me at least 10 mins to realise that didn't work.
I'm sure I've done loads more!!

So many to choose from

-got a lift home but forgot where I lived (we drove around for ten minutes until it looked familiar)
-walked all the way down the street before realising I had no shoes on
-turned up at a birthday party a week early
-left an answerphone message asking someone to call me back on...no, I can't remember my number, I'll call again in a mo. Called back and forgot my number again. Called a third time, having written my number down!
-woke up from a nap when the window cleaner knocked on the window to let me know I'd left my keys in the door again. Yes, it was not even close to the first time, and he remembered
-forgot whether I had a boy or a girl (I had to check the nappy)
-forgot the clocks changed, and turned up at a party an hour early
-offered a guest a banana sandwich for lunch
-dribbled on my baby's head on the bus (yes, on the rear-facing seat where everyone could see me)
-cooked macaroni cheese with brandy butter because it was a kind of butter. It was very odd, but everyone ate it with good grace.

While on mat leave I decided that I felt absolutely fine and would make us all a nice cooked from scratch proper family meal.
All went well, DH came home from work and commented on the lovely smells etc and called the older DC's to the table.
I put the food on the plates and promptly cut every single item of food on all of the plates into small bite sized chunks. Except mine obviously because I'm the mum and the adult. None of them said a word about it and just ate the meal! Apparently DH can speak volumes with his eyebrows

At the time DS was 11, DD1 was 6 and DH was 38...

I used to try and make the baby stop crying by pressing the mute button on the remote control.

Oh I wish that worked!
Some days I'd sell a limb to be able to mute the kids

DH and I still fantasise about it being an 'emote control' so you can change their emotions

Ahh I've had a few bad nights and days with DC with them being irritable because of the heat. These have cheered me right up- it's not just me who does these things

When I was very heavily pregnant, and when DD was tiny, there was more than one occasion when I left the house without any shoes on.

I went to work with the baby changing bag instead of the bag containing my uniform, swipe card and dinner. I was just back from maternity leave, luckily work were very understanding when I got in and had to turn round and go straight home again.

Today I nearly crashed into the back of a car in traffic because I put the car into first instead of neutral

I answered door to postie grabbed parcel with thanks, he gave me a huge grin, i shut door, as was walking bak upstairs i realised i was only in pj bottems and bra and i had one cup dropped down on my bf bra so a tit was hanging out, in my head i had full pjs on!

Ate a dog biscuit and gave the dog a custard cream. Little fucker was delighted.

Fell asleep at parents evening. Whilst the teacher was talking.

Night shifts are the actual work of the devil.

Sat down for a wee with my pants still on. Completed the wee, only then realised something felt odd.
Walked out of the house for the school run and left the door wide open.
Put my house keys and purse on the roof of the car and drove off.
Tried to make a coffee without boiling the kettle (more than once)