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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For a friend to ask me to take her husband on holiday with me?

60 replies

Fletcherl · 20/07/2016 21:57

At the weekend I made a last minute booking for a cottage in Cornwall to go with my teens. I could only book a big place. So I asked a friend who I know is struggling a bit if she wanted to come for a few days with her little girl. She has just texted back to say that she can't get the time off can her husband come instead. What! That seems odd to me.

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 20/07/2016 21:59

I hope you've said no if you don't want him.

It's one thing taking a friend on holiday but taking a bloke you (I am guessing) don't know as well wouldn't be quite as much fun.

drinkyourmilk · 20/07/2016 22:00

Is he bringing their daughter? If so I'd say that she just wants her lo to have a holiday.

BeauHeaux · 20/07/2016 22:01

Very odd. I would text back and say no, that's ok, you have another friend/relation you will ask, which might even be the case.

MollyTwo · 20/07/2016 22:02

What did you say? Yanbu, very odd.

AndNowItsSeven · 20/07/2016 22:03

It's not odd if it's with the daughter.

HeddaGarbled · 20/07/2016 22:04

Your friend is probably thinking that it's a way for her daughter to have a holiday, even though your friend can't go herself and hasn't thought through how it might be a bit awkward for you. I think if you explain, she'll understand.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 20/07/2016 22:04

Odd. I wouldn't do it.

Haggisfish · 20/07/2016 22:05

I agree with above poster. Not that odd-if suggest it if it happened to me.

Original poster
Fletcherl · 20/07/2016 22:06

I think they are pretty desperate to get away. They have a business together and he has lost part of his work because another company has gone bust.
I suppose she is being really thoughtful because at least the little one gets away.

OP posts:
RosieSW · 20/07/2016 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whois · 20/07/2016 22:06

It's well odd, even if he's bringing the kid. Awkward!

Text back "Shame you can't make it, I'll ask another friend instead. See you soon x"

Haggisfish · 20/07/2016 22:07

So it probably will be their dd's only chance of a holiday then, making it even less of an odd request.

QueenArseClangers · 20/07/2016 22:11

Are you friends with the DH?

edwinbear · 20/07/2016 22:12

Do you know her husband well? I'm on good terms with all my friends husbands and this would be absolutely fine with me if they were accompanying their child. Particularly if it was the only opportunity the child would get to go away.

coconutpie · 20/07/2016 22:14

This is so bizarre. I would be saying no.

Original poster
Fletcherl · 20/07/2016 22:14

I know both of the couple equally well as we share a profession and we have all been affected by the joint loss of work. We had drinks together for the 1st time last week and they mentioned that this would mean they couldn't afford a break. That is why I offered.
You are right haggisfish. The mum just wants their dd to have a holiday she is a cutie and my teens would love her. I think it would be fine it would just look a bit odd. My husband can't leave his business either.

OP posts:
farfallarocks · 20/07/2016 22:18

Am i the only one that doesn't think this is odd at all if you are friends with the husband? I wouldn't mind at all if a friend asked this and would happily have the dh and dd

Pestilence13610 · 20/07/2016 22:19

It's a bit unusual, it could work quite nicely though. Just remember to talk it through with your DH and set any boundaries you feel the need for.

MargaretCavendish · 20/07/2016 22:21

I think it would be fine it would just look a bit odd.

It's your holiday so you absolutely shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your only concern is how it looks, though, then I think that is a bit of a shame.

Magstermay · 20/07/2016 22:22

I don't think it's odd either actually, if you've asked them because otherwise none of them get a holiday and you know her DH well I think it's fine. It sounds like you are ok with it too which is great, they're lucky to have such a generous friend.

RosieSW · 20/07/2016 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spandexpanties · 20/07/2016 22:29

Why don't you suggest he comes for half the week so you can invite another friend for the other half

CatNip2 · 20/07/2016 22:30

Must be just me then that thinks this is odd and I wouldn't be comfortable with it. It is one thing asking a female friend and her child to come along, but her husband? Do you go off for days together as a large extended family? Do you sit down and make polite chit chat over an evening meal? Might he catch you running across the landing in your knickers? For me, what could be a nice relaxed girly holiday with the kids has become an awkward break with a lodger.

damepeanutbutter · 20/07/2016 22:34

You will find this really uncomfortable. It is one thing being friends with people, but another living with them and sharing a holiday. I would say 'sorry, no, this feels uncomfortable, I hope you understand.'

This would be my utter nightmare. You have to go with what your gut feels. If it feels wrong then it is wrong. Go through the pain of saying no, than having a holiday-full of pain and feeling resentful.

Mintychoc1 · 20/07/2016 22:39

This happened to me. I booked a holiday abroad for me and my kids. My friend asked if her husband, who'd recently been made redundant, could come with us to cheer him up. I knew him reasonably well, we'd spent maybe 20 hours together over about 10 years, and he seemed a nice man. So I said yes, and we had a fantastic holiday, we all really enjoyed it.

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