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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For a friend to ask me to take her husband on holiday with me?

60 replies

Fletcherl · 20/07/2016 21:57

At the weekend I made a last minute booking for a cottage in Cornwall to go with my teens. I could only book a big place. So I asked a friend who I know is struggling a bit if she wanted to come for a few days with her little girl. She has just texted back to say that she can't get the time off can her husband come instead. What! That seems odd to me.

OP posts:
Judester24 · 21/07/2016 07:04

The main thing here is if YOU want him to come with you. It's not he that you invited, but his wife. I wouldn't feel bad about just saying, 'Never mind then, I'll invite another friend'.
Honestly, I get on very well with lots of my friends' husbands, but if I'd invited a friend away for a girlie holiday, and they said to take their husband instead, I'd be very surprised.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/07/2016 07:12

whois that's too passively worded, I think, she'll probably send her DH anyway and think you're making it a group holiday.

It is a bit odd. Especially as it sounds like they are colleagues rather than friends? It could become quiet awkward and there's always more potential for awkwardness with men then women, as a rule, I think.

heron98 · 21/07/2016 07:15

I don't see the issue.

I get on well with my friends' other halves, in fact they are my friends too.

Even if you are not matey with him, I am sure you can have fun together with the kids. It'll be nice for them to have company.

allnewredfairy · 21/07/2016 07:24

I actually think it-s impolite of friend to try to extend the invitation to her husband and put OP on the spot. I wouldn't want to take a friends husband on holiday with me. It's absolutely not the same as having a female pal with you.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 21/07/2016 08:39

If your DH was going too would be fine but I wouldn't be comfortable with this.

Ed1tY0urPr0f1le · 21/07/2016 14:00

I'd only go on holiday with a friends DH if I was 100% certain that he would do his fair share of the cooking and washing up and that I would not end up chief babysitter!

I'd also want my own ensuite as I wouldn't want to be heading towards the bathroom for a shower and meet him on the landing as he headed in there for a poo!

Actually, tbh it wouldn't suit me at all so I'd be saying no.

Up to you though. As long as both couples are cool with it, anyone else can think what they like.

Fletcherl · 21/07/2016 16:59

Thanks everyone. That was really helpful.
I am going tomorrow and the other chap and his daughter are going to come down for a couple of nights at the end of the week. The teens have now got friends dropping in and out so it will be great fun.
Just off to pack.

OP posts:
irregularegular · 21/07/2016 17:06

sounds good to me! For just a couple of days, with teenagers around, it will be fun and no reason to be awkward.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/07/2016 08:20

I don't think it's weird

You are friends and if it's the only way their dd can have w few days break then not surprised she asked

Think your solution of coming for a few days perfect

Also very sad that people Imm think something may happen

Assume you are both happy in your relationships and men and woman can be friends

Trills · 22/07/2016 08:31

We had drinks together for the 1st time last week

You are very kind to invite someone to stay in holiday cottage with you when you don't know them that well.

You are also very very optimistic to think that you'd have a nice time.

Going on holiday together can be trying for families who've known each other for years.

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