For a friend to ask me to take her husband on holiday with me?

[Fletcherl]

At the weekend I made a last minute booking for a cottage in Cornwall to go with my teens. I could only book a big place. So I asked a friend who I know is struggling a bit if she wanted to come for a few days with her little girl. She has just texted back to say that she can't get the time off can her husband come instead. What! That seems odd to me.

[Trills]

We had drinks together for the 1st time last week

You are very kind to invite someone to stay in holiday cottage with you when you don't know them that well.

You are also very very optimistic to think that you'd have a nice time.

Going on holiday together can be trying for families who've known each other for years.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

I don't think it's weird

You are friends and if it's the only way their dd can have w few days break then not surprised she asked

Think your solution of coming for a few days perfect

Also very sad that people Imm think something may happen

Assume you are both happy in your relationships and men and woman can be friends

[irregularegular]

sounds good to me! For just a couple of days, with teenagers around, it will be fun and no reason to be awkward.

[Fletcherl]

Thanks everyone. That was really helpful.
I am going tomorrow and the other chap and his daughter are going to come down for a couple of nights at the end of the week. The teens have now got friends dropping in and out so it will be great fun.
Just off to pack.

[Ed1tY0urPr0f1le]

I'd only go on holiday with a friends DH if I was 100% certain that he would do his fair share of the cooking and washing up and that I would not end up chief babysitter!

I'd also want my own ensuite as I wouldn't want to be heading towards the bathroom for a shower and meet him on the landing as he headed in there for a poo!

Actually, tbh it wouldn't suit me at all so I'd be saying no.

Up to you though. As long as both couples are cool with it, anyone else can think what they like.

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

If your DH was going too would be fine but I wouldn't be comfortable with this.

[allnewredfairy]

I actually think it-s impolite of friend to try to extend the invitation to her husband and put OP on the spot. I wouldn't want to take a friends husband on holiday with me. It's absolutely not the same as having a female pal with you.

[heron98]

I don't see the issue.

I get on well with my friends' other halves, in fact they are my friends too.

Even if you are not matey with him, I am sure you can have fun together with the kids. It'll be nice for them to have company.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

whois that's too passively worded, I think, she'll probably send her DH anyway and think you're making it a group holiday.

It is a bit odd. Especially as it sounds like they are colleagues rather than friends? It could become quiet awkward and there's always more potential for awkwardness with men then women, as a rule, I think.

[Judester24]

The main thing here is if YOU want him to come with you. It's not he that you invited, but his wife. I wouldn't feel bad about just saying, 'Never mind then, I'll invite another friend'.
Honestly, I get on very well with lots of my friends' husbands, but if I'd invited a friend away for a girlie holiday, and they said to take their husband instead, I'd be very surprised.

[2nds]

Well Rosie IBS sufferers don't limit themselves like that. If I'm downstairs I'll poo in the downstairs loo. We learn to not give a shit as to what loo we poo in (pardon the pun). So really it doesn't matter if there's one loo or ten loos.

[UsedToBeAPaxmanFan]

If you're friends with him as well as her, this isn't odd. Was the original offer just to her, or to all three of them as a family? If it was to all of them then it seems perfectly reasonable that the offer still stands even if she can't make it.

A couple of years ago, dh was planning to go skiing with ds (I hate skiing so didn't want to go), and talked to friends of ours about them coming too. Her dh couldn't get time off work, but she and her two dc could potentially go. In the end it didn't happen due to complications around timings, but I would have been very ok with it if it had. I trust both of them implicitly, and anyway there are limited opportunities in a 2 bedroomed flat with 3 teens in tow!

Its your call, OP, but I would do it.

[cornishglos]

Why is this odd?

[Bogeyface]

As long as there are no underlying issues, I think it would be fine.

I am thinking of a family that we know that are our good friends. It would be a bit odd at first if he was to come instead of her because in our set up, she is a closer friend to me, but I wouldnt mind if he came.

I would say that he should come so that their DD can have a holiday but I would also want to have a chat in advance about socialising, evenings etc. I like to have some time alone when I am on hols, even with my own family, so I wouldnt like to feel that I should spend every evening of my holiday making small talk so the "If I fuck off with my book its not because I am being rude" chat should be had before you go!

[catkind]

But why Rosie? What's the problem sharing a bathroom? Are you worried about catching man-germs? You don't have to be in it at the same time you know! As a veteran one-loo-householder I'd be more worried about the teens being in there all morning than the fellow parent.
Joking aside, OP says it's a big place, so you probably have nothing to worry about.

[hazeimcgee]

EverySongbirdSays
You can sit there in your pjs with a glass of wine and some nail varnish and a face mask and take your bra off and wear no shoes and not care what you look like.

Why are you so concerned what your male friend / friends hubby thinks you look like??

[hazeimcgee]

Why is it odd? You're all friends, all married. Is he a creep and a sleaze? Is he a little too hot? Can you blt trust him or you or does DH not trust either of you??

Screw other people's assumptions.

And tbh if i was the friend and said oh actually can DH bring DD and you said bo i feel uncomfortable with that i'd wonder what was wrong with DH

[catkind]

Rosie, many of us don't have the luxury of 3 loos at home, let alone on holiday. Hence me being somewhat childishly amused by the concept. How the other half poos... I'm sure there was another thread where it was considered terribly rude and Not The Done Thing to use the upstairs loo in someone else's house if there was a downstairs one available. Maybe it's safer not to visit friends with multiple bathrooms, I haven't had the training for it

[GinBunny]

I don't see how you can say no to her DH without it sounding like you don't trust him though.
Although if it was me I would feel weird about it. I know my friends' husbands pretty well but wouldn't want to go on holiday with any of them on my own, as others have said, I want to take my bra off when I relax

[BeauHeaux]

I know both of the couple equally well as we share a profession.....We had drinks together for the 1st time last week

You sound like you have the best of intentions, but how well do you know these people? Are they friends or colleagues? If it was a friend's husband there is an argument to be made in its favour, but if you barely know the wife (never mind the husband) then if it were me I wouldn't be inviting him.

[Marymoosmum14]

I don't think it is odd. You did invite her daughter to go with you and if she can't go with her why shouldn't her father accompany her, why should her daughter miss out on a holiday just because she can't go and you feel 'odd' about her father going with her.

[Notcontent]

If you like the guy, then I think it's fine!