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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have watched 50 Shades Of Grey with DD?

172 replies

BluePresent · 19/07/2016 19:12

DD is 16, we recently purchased 50 Shades Of Grey from the Sky box set. I watched it with her, wasn't an issue. Then DH comes in shouting and telling me that it is inappropriate and definitely doesn't approve... Who is BU?

OP posts:
BluePresent · 19/07/2016 21:52

Why are you assuming that I let her do what she likes?

OP posts:
branofthemist · 19/07/2016 21:54

Twilight was pretty creepy in some ways too, with a hero that can't help hurting and bruising the heroine during sex, leaving her black and blue in the morning. And the heroine basically begging him to hurt her.

Yep. All kinds of wrong.

Thank you twatbadging, I thought so. Both so bloody poor and disturbing.

peggypineapple · 19/07/2016 22:01

Is it really soft porn? It just seemed like a laughably shit romance to me. The books are RUDE as hell but the film is pretty tame really.

People are being way ott here, as is your DH. If you've got a relationship where you feel comfortable watching this kind of stuff together then whatever. I'm sure she's not an idiot and will not have her whole view of relationships skewed by one film, most romantic mainstream films give a distinctly non feminist view of relationships tbh.

VestalVirgin · 19/07/2016 22:03

That mainstream romance portrays abuse as romantic, while FSoG portrays it as BDSM is an interesting point of view, but one that I would disagree with.

The man is abusive all the time, not just in the bedroom, and I think what most people take away is that BDSM is a niche fetish, but being turned on by abusive males is normal.

I wouldn't let a 16 year old see it. Wait until she is 18. I wouldn't see this as a film that is meant to sexually arouse viewers, but then, I think it is shit.

AndNowItsSeven · 19/07/2016 22:04

I would tell you to grow up op. However it's the school holidays so you most likely are acting your age.

Talkingmouse · 19/07/2016 22:12

The film is lame and somewhat explicit, with some very poor messaging...but you could say similar about many films.

If It helps you and your dd communicate on a deeper level; if she can use the film to actually better understand how wrong some people/relationships are; and if you could actually sit through it together without squirming...then yanbu.

Brandonstarkflakes · 19/07/2016 22:16

I hope.you had a serious conversation with your DD about the assault scene at the end.

The film is absolute diarrhoea.

BluePresent · 19/07/2016 22:23

I had already spoken to her about stuff like that way before this, as she has asked questions before. Just because we are close, I don't know why people need to bring out the you're her mother not friend card. Of course I'm her friend, so what? Confused she's very sensible.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 19/07/2016 22:25

I'm not being goady

Hilarious!

BluePresent · 19/07/2016 22:35

Why is it whenever someone else parents differently to you, it's goady? Confused

OP posts:
TheUnsullied · 19/07/2016 22:47

Because claiming to not get why it's inappropriate to watch soft porn with your child is goady.

BluePresent · 19/07/2016 22:49

But I disagree with it being soft porn

OP posts:
TheUnsullied · 19/07/2016 22:53

It's literally the definition of soft porn.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/07/2016 23:14

I am laughing my head off at somebody upthread calling it Soft Prom.

But yeah, t'is totes innappropes.

Jodie1982 · 19/07/2016 23:14

I thought she did get penetrated in the film? When he bent her over?

Couldn't imagine watching that with any of my children. Shock

peggypineapple · 19/07/2016 23:16

I guess I just can't fathom the idea of anyone finding it actually erotic when the male character wears such bad jeans.

UmbongoUnchained · 19/07/2016 23:17

The actress wasn't actually penetrated though that's the point.
Otherwise any film with a sex scene would be considered porn.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 19/07/2016 23:21

Oh for fucks sake OP! Stop with the wide eyed and goady posts, they're doing my nut in! Actually state your bloody point.

23jumpstreet · 19/07/2016 23:30

Just no.

PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 19/07/2016 23:32

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MiddleClassProblem · 19/07/2016 23:37

It's no late night, 90s channel 5 movie, that's for sure

AnecdotalEvidence · 19/07/2016 23:44

It is soft porn, I wouldn't want to watch it with my mum but I don't necessarily think it's inappropriate for a 16yr old to watch it with her mum.
But, I would want to ensure that the parent pointed out all the abusive and manipulative behaviour he shows.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/07/2016 23:45

** Bwahahaha.

tidyfairy · 19/07/2016 23:47

I wouldn't watch it if you paid me, and neither would my dd.

pinkyredrose · 20/07/2016 00:44

OP can you really not take on board what people are saying? Confused

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