To have watched 50 Shades Of Grey with DD?

[BluePresent]

DD is 16, we recently purchased 50 Shades Of Grey from the Sky box set. I watched it with her, wasn't an issue. Then DH comes in shouting and telling me that it is inappropriate and definitely doesn't approve... Who is BU?

Watching soft porn with your mum eeewwww

^
This

I haven't seen the film, but based on reviews I can't imagine wanting to watch it with my mother. Not at the age of 16, not at my age now.

However, if you and she both wanted to watch the film, then why not?

Never mind her age, you know what she can take. But bleurgh, porn with mum.

How come I sound stupid?

My 20 year old goddaughter watched it with a couple of friends and her 24 year old brother. So much trauma.

OP, you know your daughter better than any of us. She's obviously pretty comfortable with you about 'sex stuff' or she would have recoiled in horror. For the record, my mum asked me a few months back if I'd seen 'that dreadful film' (I haven't - yet) and I'm 41. And I'm betting she bloody has...

Hi Op, I don't think yabu. It sounds like you have a good relationship with DD and it's great that you are both comfortable around this type of thing. However 50SoG does present a very unhealthy relationship model so it'd be a perfect opportunity to discuss with your DD what constitutes a healthy relationship and how it differs from what she's seen here. You should be proud that you and DD are able to watch/discuss this type of thing without any awkwardness.

Yuck

I haven't seen it yet but have read the books and they were dire IMO. I cringe if people are so much as kissing on TV in front of my mum and we have a pretty open relationship, could never watch this with her.
Personally I don't think you are BU so long as you are discussing it with her afterwards - you could use it to open up a dialogue about abusive relationships and red flags etc

I was shocked to see it in the 'romance' section on sky.

Personally I would let my 16 year watch it. Then explain to her how it's not romance or true love. About how it's abusive and disgusting that it's been skewed into a 'love story'.

Which is what I also planned with twilight, although Dd (12) beat me to it with twilight. Thankfully she thought all the blokes were abusive dicks before I said anything.

She's 16 not 12 FGS. Part of the problem is that girls are shielded from sexual/rel issues because "it's inappropriate".

The legal age to have sex is 16 - so why is watching a film about sex so unbelievably unreasonable?

I would imagine she does much worse!

Why would you want to watch soft porn with her though? Can you really not see how inappropriate it is to watch it with your 16yo DD?

The thought of watching it with my 50yo DM grosses me right out. I get a bit squirmy watching a film with a singular sex scene if my parents are there.

I wouldn't take kindly to my DH shouting at me about a film. That seems ott to me. Your DD is 16. I'm guessing if she thought it was icky to watch it with you then she wouldn't have watched.
I haven't seen it but I think there are a heck of a lot of Hollywood films that present incredibly unhealthy relationships as though they're something to aspire to . It's partly why the 'bad boy saved by true love' trope is so common in fantasy and RL.

Well one would hope not at 16 Lady

I would imagine she does much worse!

How do you mean?

You think the ops daughter does worse than 50 shades of grey?

Seriously???

You should watch The Story Of O with her next

I haven't seen it but I think there are a heck of a lot of Hollywood films that present incredibly unhealthy relationships as though they're something to aspire to .

This, exactly. At least 50sog calls a spade a spade and presents male power as a fetish object and not as something "normal".

At least 50sog calls a spade a spade and presents male power as a fetish object and not as something "normal".

I disagree - (based on the book, mind, I haven't seen the film). That's why its so obnoxious in that male power is presented as a romance/love story.

My mum and I once at down with popcorn to watch magic mike. The opening credits was enough to turn it off.

Yabu

At least 50sog calls a spade a spade and presents male power as a fetish object and not as something "normal".

I disagree. I know many grown women who thought he was amazing and told me how they wished some one loved them like he loved her.

One was my aunt who is 50. She can't see the abuse at all. Many can't. Bloody worries me than young girls might see it and not see the abuse either.

This is a brilliant illustration of how some women are unable to distinguish between romance and abuse. Truly worrying that a 16 year old may view that bag of shite as a relationship to aspire to. I'm very much hoping op and dd had a lovely chat about how terrible it is and how they feel sorry for women who view that as a goal. Otherwise in 10 years she'll be on mn posting about her dire relationship with her husband who treats her like a skivvy.

If the op's dd is involved in a relationship worse than is portrayed in that film then she has lots more to worry about than whether it was appropriate to watch it together!!