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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have watched 50 Shades Of Grey with DD?

172 replies

BluePresent · 19/07/2016 19:12

DD is 16, we recently purchased 50 Shades Of Grey from the Sky box set. I watched it with her, wasn't an issue. Then DH comes in shouting and telling me that it is inappropriate and definitely doesn't approve... Who is BU?

OP posts:
Original poster
BluePresent · 19/07/2016 20:56

Why is it weird?

OP posts:
TheUnsullied · 19/07/2016 20:57

So the difference is how it's filmed rather than what's on screen? It's not soft porn because the actress wasn't actually penetrated during filming?

UmbongoUnchained · 19/07/2016 21:01

That is exactly the definition of porn. Live action sex. So no, if she wasn't doing it for real, it's not porn.

It's a sex scene.

I watched deadpool in the cinema with my dad an brother, there's loads of crazy fucking in that. Does that also imply some sort of perverse incestuous relationship?

MaQueen · 19/07/2016 21:01

I think it's totally inappropriate to watch together. To be honest I wouldn't dream of watching 50 Shades of Shit with my DDs whether they be 16 or 26.

I'm their Mum FFS, not their bezzie friend.

Lottielou7 · 19/07/2016 21:01

YABU to watch the film in the first place - it's shit!

I also agree it's a story about a man who gets off on abusing a woman and certainly is offensive to women.

Beeziekn33ze · 19/07/2016 21:03

Wondering what else you watch with her, do tell!

OfficiallyUnofficial · 19/07/2016 21:03

Still gross even if she didn't actually get screwed sorry.

Total aside I watched Wolf of Wall Street with my parents a couple of years ago and wanted to die throughout. So did they. We were all too British to suggest turning it off Grin

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 19/07/2016 21:04

Evening all

TheUnsullied · 19/07/2016 21:05

The film is supposed to turn viewers on sexually. If you'd watched a film like that with your family Umbongo, I'd be saying the same to you as I've said to the OP. But Deadpool doesn't come under that category.

MunchCrunch01 · 19/07/2016 21:08

yes i think it's a little odd watching it with your DD, but i don't think any film should be banned at 16+ as long as you talk about the things raised in it properly.

user7755 · 19/07/2016 21:10

I always thought soft porn was not penetration and that's what the distinction was Confused

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 19/07/2016 21:10

I haven't seen it or read the books, but given all I've heard about it, but if I had to watch it, I'd rather watch it alone or with a partner, or a really good friend who'd be happy to discuss it (as in FFS what is she thinking? He's got a nice arse though! Type stuff).

I would NOT watch it with my Mum.

16 yo DD asked you to rent it to watch tigether, she's obviously not bothered. I wouldn't have been able to resist commenting about it though, so it would have been more 'learning opportunity' than 'fun' - I wouldn't be able to help myself.

Tell DH not to be a twat, she's 16, like it or not legally able to have sex - it's better she's not uncomfortable around the idea of sex & discussing it with you.

Kr1stina · 19/07/2016 21:10

I think it's seriously weird that a 16yo girl would want to watch any kind of soft porn with her mother . Apart from the particular issues raised in this film.

My 16 yo ( and all her friends ) would DIE of embarrassment .

All teenagers think that their generation invented sex and we know nothing. This is the natural order of things .

Stop trying to be a cool mum and act your age OP

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 19/07/2016 21:12

Olivia. Yours are Way too young!

MiddleClassProblem · 19/07/2016 21:16

I can remember watching Closer in the cinema with my parents and feeling awkward, think I was 18. But we've done it so much since then (many films it's not expected) and now I couldn't care with my mum at least, would watch sex and the city with her etc. Also should point out they work in the film industry so it was always a sense of needing to watch the big films and the arty films as well as know just how unsexy those are to film anyway.

101waystoworry · 19/07/2016 21:21

I don't think YABU at all! (or stupid, if you don't have anything nice to say guys....)You know your daughter, I would though have a chat about abusive relationships just to make sure your daughter understands about them. Actually, that is a really good opportunity I never had it explained to me and I wish someone had told me about how a real relationship should be!
Film ratings are just a guideline really not dead set it stone, has your husband watched the film because if he hasn't that might explain his reaction?

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 19/07/2016 21:23

Horrible film with a horrible message, but I don't see the issue with a 16 year old watching it with her mum, my mum lent me the book, I was older, but it does open channels to discuss appropriate relationships and what is right/wrong. Let's face it most 16 year olds are watching far worse without parents knowing, she is old enough to consent herself so it's great to have an open relationship with her mum

itsmine · 19/07/2016 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 19/07/2016 21:27

Ignoring the fact the books were so poorly written where a vulnerable, naive girl is stalked and controlled by a powerful man and based on another book with an inappropriate relationship - very old, powerful, stalkerish man/vampire and a young, vulnerable girl - and the BDSM/sex scenes in the book and film were so cringeworthy and just icky tbf

Meh. Its a film with sex scenes. If you and your DD are comfortable watching it and discussing it then great.

DH is over reacting and is just going to make sex subjects difficult for you and DD to discuss.

He needs to wind his neck in. I suspect his reaction might be more to do with why he would watch a soft porn/film with a ton of sex scenes not why you and your DD would watch it.

branofthemist · 19/07/2016 21:34

I watched Twilight with my 13 year old and discussed how it wasn't a very healthy relationship.

wasnt 50 shades based on twilight?

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 19/07/2016 21:38

bran yes it was. 50 shades is a fan fic based on twilight only with more sex.

tofutti · 19/07/2016 21:41

Twilight was pretty creepy in some ways too, with a hero that can't help hurting and bruising the heroine during sex, leaving her black and blue in the morning. And the heroine basically begging him to hurt her.

gillybeanz · 19/07/2016 21:44

It's a bit weird, I think. Mine is much younger but can't think of a time I'd want to watch such a film with her.
Does your dh often shout when he disagrees with something, were you showing her an abusive relationship?

MrsJayy · 19/07/2016 21:48

Ive not seen it the book is awful i wouldnt watch what i consider porn with m5 dds they would rather chew their arm off than watch it witj me what did your dd think of it? I agree with your dh i dont think its appropriate considering the bdsm and her unwillingness at first

junebirthdaygirl · 19/07/2016 21:50

How would you feel op if your dh watched a movie with your dd that you weren't happy with? Shouting is out but he is entitled to an opinion as you would want if it was the other way round.

In my experience kids feel more secure when their parents are a bit strict. I had a friend at 16 whose mum let her do pretty much what she liked and l clearly remember thinking her mum must hate her not to care. Kids need parents not buddies.