To have watched 50 Shades Of Grey with DD?

[BluePresent]

DD is 16, we recently purchased 50 Shades Of Grey from the Sky box set. I watched it with her, wasn't an issue. Then DH comes in shouting and telling me that it is inappropriate and definitely doesn't approve... Who is BU?

[myownprivateidaho]

Hmm well yes, it clearly is a romance. But the thing about is that it both uses all the tropes of conventional romance - eg a guy who is just so overpowered by desire that he won't take no for an answer, guy 'saving' girl, guy with lots of money/power taking control - and places it in a bdsm context. So the bdsm element doesn't add an additional layer of male dominance, instead conventional male dominance which is presented as normal in a lot of romantic books/films is instead treated as a niche fetish.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

Idaho "It's just that people don't like it when male dominance is portrayed in a way that turns women on rather than in a way that is designed to appeal to men."

I will openly admit I have neither read nor seen the books/movie - they do not interest me in the least. However, that is a very interesting statement you have made. While I still will not read/watch them, I had never heard that perspective before. Thanks for the food for thought.

[MillionToOneChances]

She's 16. She's old enough to have sex so she's old enough to watch the movie and discuss it. I watched Twilight with my 13 year old and discussed how it wasn't a very healthy relationship.

[TheUnsullied]

I don't think most posters object to the 16yo watching it at all. I agree, she's 16 and old enough to legally participate in those activities so shouldn't be stopped from watching it. But it is soft porn. Since when is it a 'thing' to casually watch porn with family? Or is that alright providing you discuss how real/healthy everything you watch together actually is?

[followTheyellowbrickRoad]

Does your husband often disagree with your choices and shout at you?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

OP drops in, goads, a few very small comments, then out. Suspicious? Moi?

[BluePresent]

I'm still here... I'm not being goady I was genuinely asking

[annandale]

Honestly? It would be a cold day in hell before I watched this with a child of mine.

What did you want to get from this?

Entertainment? sounds incredibly dull. Something to get aroused to? Just wrong with your child there and I'd be with your DH. Chance to discuss sexual politics? In which case why choose this, particularly? 'Female empowerment'? I really, really hope not.

Did it give you what you wanted?

Or was it just, meh, I want to zone out, this is on, let's watch this? In which case, it's quite depressing.

[RebelRogue]

Yes it's a shit movie,it's a shit story, it's a shit interpretation of bdsm/fetishes .

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Great. So did you and DD talk about the abusive nature of the relationship and the importance of consent?

[BluePresent]

We had already spoken to that way before we watched that film

[BluePresent]

*about that

[BluePresent]

Well, my DD obviously doesn't cringe... we were looking through the films you can rent and she wanted to get that one she obviously wasn't fazed

[tofutti]

YABU. If this really happened. She's 16, not 18.

You seem a bit gormless, what with your repeated use of emoji

[UmbongoUnchained]

It's a Hollywood film with sex scenes, not soft porn...

Why is sex still so taboo?! Glad my parents were open and I could talk to them about sex. Yanbu op. It's a fucking film.

[TheUnsullied]

Obviously not OP. But why did you think it was appropriate to watch soft porn with your kid?

[BluePresent]

Definitely isn't porn.

[TheUnsullied]

No? What's the difference between that film a day soft porn then?

[TheUnsullied]

*and. Not a day.

[Pardonwhat]

I watched it at a ladies film/wine night with my mum and auntie present.. My friends mum was also there. Cringeworthy in parts but it made for a funny evening. She's 16, she knows what sex is.
Cringey but not an issue imo.

[ailith]

Haven't watched it at all nor read the book. Like Jamie Dornan in other things, though.
From what I have heard about it, however, I would probably not have watched it with anyone else, far less a daughter.

[UmbongoUnchained]

Soft prom is REAL

50 shades is FAKE

There's more sex tv shows like skins, misfits, shameless... You wouldn't watch those with your kids either?

[WaitrosePigeon]

YABu