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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hiding from the smell. Bloody dh

286 replies

TheCatAteMyHomework · 19/07/2016 11:29

So house guest decides to cook. Shows dh the recipe and is checking off ingredient list together. Recipe has ingredient on that dh knows I absolutely hate in food.
He obviously knows this as when I smell it and ask if it's got it in dh laughs and pretends it hasn't and house guest looks sheepish and says they were just following instructions.

Not only do I hate the taste of this stuff but it smells strong so now I am sitting in my room unable to go find something else.

Dh thinks that I'm rude no doubt.
Aibu to refuse it and sulk in my room? It's late here. I'm annoyed that he's let someone cook food I detest and I'll have to go find more food.

OP posts:
tofutti · 19/07/2016 13:36

Iz dis 4 realz or lolz?

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo · 19/07/2016 13:36

God you sound like a picky eater and a bit of a drama queen. I'd never want to cook for you

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 19/07/2016 13:39

I don't even know what clove is

Dairybanrion · 19/07/2016 13:42

I read first page and thought ... Clove!!
It's so bleurgh. Confused
I leave it out of curries and as for apple tarts. Heeeeeave.
It is nice in a hot whiskey though....Wine

Sallystyle · 19/07/2016 13:44

I can't stand the smell of salted peanuts, I will throw up. DH loves them but he keeps them away from me if he wants to eat them because he quite likes me and doesn't want me to suffer.

Your husband should have told the guest not to include it. I don't get why he didn't do that. I think that is mean.

YANBU

user1468488303 · 19/07/2016 13:49

Grown ups making themselves vomit because of the smell or look of a food? Worse than toddlers! You need therapy if you have such extreme food aversions.

Inertia · 19/07/2016 13:50

I would be totally unimpressed if my husband lied to me about what was in my food, and smirked about it.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 19/07/2016 13:53

user - who said they would vomit because of the look of a food?

Vomiting because of a pungent smell is hardly a food aversion. The smell of vomit also makes me want to hurl that is hardly a food aversion is it.

Sallystyle · 19/07/2016 13:57

I wonder how many people would really be ok with this.

Would you really be ok with your husbands telling your guest that you hate this ingredient and laughing about it, adding it and then lying about it?

I wouldn't, I would wonder what has happened to my kind husband. Why would he want to add something I don't like, lie about it and then laugh about it?

As for those saying 'it's just a spice' be glad you don't have such a strong aversion to a certain food smell. It's not fun to feel sick to your stomach due to a certain food. If anyone opened a bag of salted peanuts around me I would have to leave the room as well.

Sallystyle · 19/07/2016 13:58

Grown ups making themselves vomit because of the smell or look of a food? Worse than toddlers! You need therapy if you have such extreme food aversions.

Oh fuck off please.

I don't make myself vomit btw, it's a natural reaction.

Dawndonnaagain · 19/07/2016 14:03

Grown ups making themselves vomit because of the smell or look of a food? Worse than toddlers! You need therapy if you have such extreme food aversions.
Sorry, which bit of ASC was beyond your comprehension?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/07/2016 14:04

I like cloves (in moderation) but find the overwhelming smell of them in some shops around Christmas unpleasant.
The OP has my sympathy from mid November onwards

Her DH is a bit of a disk though. He could have just said to guest, leave the cloves out

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/07/2016 14:04

dick not disk!

lljkk · 19/07/2016 14:05

I've tried to read OP's posts very carefully. Perhaps I will be corrected, from what I read:
She said she hates the smell.
And that it smells like dettol.

Did not say that she expected to vomit, felt sick to her stomach, wanted to hurl, or felt sick at all.
Stop projecting.

SlimCheesy2 · 19/07/2016 14:06

I agree that it is a respect issue. If my DH knew that aubergine was being hidden in my food and colluded in that, I would be very upset. It makes me feel very very ill- and believe me I have had aubergine 'hidden' in a stew and I absolutely knew it was there. But DH would not ever do that, as he quite likes me it seems.

DH's favourite food in the world is ratatouille. I make it for him loads of times because he loves it. I make an aubergine -free version for me, and he even cuts up his own aubergine as I cannot even handle it without feeling queasy.

SeaCabbage · 19/07/2016 14:07

OP YANBU. It would have been lovely for you to have been able to sit down to a delicious meal cooked by someone else for a change.

Your husband was spiteful and childish in doing this.

I hope this is out of character for him.

It would have been so easy for him to have said to the guest to leave out a fucking clove.

I don't blame you for being annoyed.

LisaMed1 · 19/07/2016 14:08

It isn't about the spice. It's about the husband thinking it is funny to make a meal that the OP can't eat.

To me it's on par with OH spiking a non alcoholic drink with vodka for someone who has good reason not to drink - because they can, and it's funny and it shows who is in charge and who gets respect (hint - not OP).

OP - is this part of a pattern?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/07/2016 14:08

So many people here kind of missing the point.

OP's DH allowed a guest to make a meal containing an ingredient that the OP hates, knowing that OP wouldn't be able to eat it and that she would smell it. He lied about it to her face, then admitted it after being pressed.

Why in the name of fuck would any sane adult allow a guest to make a meal and include an ingredient that anyone else in the house hates? How is that going to make people feel - if I was that guest, I'd be mortified that I'd used an ingredient that meant someone couldn't eat it.

And no, it's not precious - some people have really intense reactions to certain flavours/ smells. I have one friend who is super-sensitive to celery, can smell/taste it in anything, so of course I never use it when she's around. And I certainly wouldn't fucking agree for someone else to use it if she was coming!

Sounds to me like the idiot grandparents who fed a nut-allergic 3yo a walnut whip, to "see what would happen" or whatever the fuck their moronic faulty "reasoning" was - ending in a hospital visit for the 3yo.

WHY make food for someone that you know they'll hate? I just do NOT get that. It's stupid. And really unpleasant.

LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF · 19/07/2016 14:10

Thank you, BertrandRussell - am actually in the process of creating a spice rack in order to get a little more adventurous/skilled kitchen-wise. Will be purchasing the infamous cloves this afternoon!

perfectlyfine · 19/07/2016 14:17

I think your DH was out of order. Knowing that you have an aversion (rather than just a dislike) to this spice, he set you up here.

I would be unimpressed with his actions and I think he also used your guest as a shield which wasn't very nice.

I can't believe the number of posters name-calling and throwing insults at you as if it's somehow your fault your dh is a goady twat. He put the house guest in this position, not you. Are you supposed to just suck it up and become nauseous?

BUT, you should get rid of all cloves/clove from your house if the aversion is that bad...

perfectlyfine · 19/07/2016 14:19

LisaMed spot on.

user1468488303 · 19/07/2016 14:23

I don't think anyone is missing the point. It's just that its obviously a much bigger problem and she doesn't seem to want to deal with it, so thats why people are commenting on the rude childishness and the guest.

LadyLayLay · 19/07/2016 14:24

You have my utmost sympathies. Anyone who thinks you're being dramatic or overreacting has clearly never suffered from a powerful aversion to something

I have experienced the utter wrath of hyperemesis gravidarium. I have experienced an aversion to just about every thing on this universe. And during the time that I was bedridden and being sick 16 times a day, my ex thought nothing of cooking himself some garlic bread. Even then, I didn't react the way OP has!!!

Original poster
TheCatAteMyHomework · 19/07/2016 14:26

Thanks to those sticking to the op. The op being that my dh allowed/instigated a meal being made with an ingredient that I hate. I know a lot of people like clove and think it's lovely but to me it's horrible. Dh knows I hate it. I made a curry when we were dating using it and threw it away and nearly puked eating it. He knows I hate it.

I'm thankful for some pleasant messages from understanding posters. From others I am also thankful that you took the time to respond. I was asking if I was unreasonable to think it's weird someone would make a meal out of something you hate not a poll on clove favouritism

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 19/07/2016 14:29

User do you want to come back and explain to me and others why we are like toddlers because a certain smell makes us vomit?

You could also explain why you think we make ourselves sick.

BTW I work in healthcare. I have smelled some god awful smells that would make most people heave. Salted peanuts is still the worst smelling thing ever.