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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hiding from the smell. Bloody dh

286 replies

TheCatAteMyHomework · 19/07/2016 11:29

So house guest decides to cook. Shows dh the recipe and is checking off ingredient list together. Recipe has ingredient on that dh knows I absolutely hate in food.
He obviously knows this as when I smell it and ask if it's got it in dh laughs and pretends it hasn't and house guest looks sheepish and says they were just following instructions.

Not only do I hate the taste of this stuff but it smells strong so now I am sitting in my room unable to go find something else.

Dh thinks that I'm rude no doubt.
Aibu to refuse it and sulk in my room? It's late here. I'm annoyed that he's let someone cook food I detest and I'll have to go find more food.

OP posts:
incogKNEEto · 19/07/2016 21:59

100% with you on this, cloves are the work of the devil! I can't even have them in the house, just the sight of them conjures up the smell for me and l retch. I felt ill reading/typing the word, but l also have an exceptional sense of smell and an aversion to certain smells, as well as suspected ASD. Your husband has been very immature and insensitive cooking something he knew you hate and that the dc can't eat.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 19/07/2016 22:00

I just had clove in my tea. Always have. Very good for the stomach as it's natural antiseptic.

BertrandRussell · 19/07/2016 22:01

The thing is that, while I agree that someone deliberately cooking with an ingredient that someone who is going to eat the meal hates, I honestly don't see how you can possibly avoid cloves (not clove- cloves) if they ever go anywhere near a curry. Walking past an Indian restaurant must be torture. Any convenience curry will have cloves.......

tofutti · 19/07/2016 22:06

Girl how do you make tea with cloves? How many do you use? What are the benefits to the stomach? Do they help with bloating, digestion etc?

Lookatyourwatchnow · 19/07/2016 22:06

OP, sorry if I sound insensitive re your clove difficulties, but you are very funny.

Dairybanrion · 19/07/2016 22:06

Really Bertrand?
Goodness. Confused

Dairybanrion · 19/07/2016 22:08

Who knew cloves could be so divisive.

But I understand. I think if my husb was in cahoots with a guest cooking stuff I hate, I think, depending on extraneous pressures ... I think I'd cry. It's so mean! Blush

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 19/07/2016 22:13

Tofutti - i only have ground cloves at the moment but it's very strong so I would normally use whole ones. Use one per cup of tea. Either black or with milk, works in both. Sometimes I use cinnamon instead if I fancy. It helps me when I have a bad stomach, calms it.
Cloves are marvellous and used for toothache for centuries.
They are anti inflammatory, have antiseptic, anaesthetic and anti flatulent!
Also great for bad breath.

Was1969 · 19/07/2016 22:14

YABU grow up your acting like a kid!

BertrandRussell · 19/07/2016 22:26

Cloves are a basic ingredient of garam masala, which is a standard spice mix for curry.

I think this is all bullshit.

tofutti · 19/07/2016 23:07

Thanks Girl

I currently only use them when I make basmati rice but will add a clove to my tea from now on!

Have you tried boiling fennel seeds to make tea? Really good for a bad stomach as well.

NicknameUsed · 19/07/2016 23:20

Those are useful tips Girl with. Thank you.

LuluJakey1 · 20/07/2016 00:15

If it was fish or red meat I would be the same.

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 20/07/2016 01:10

Yes love fennel, my grandmother uses it and also aniseed for bad stomach. Haven't boiled he seeds before so will try that thanks!
The clove thing is from her too, v common to use in Cyprus where she is from.
You're welcome Nickname if you like chai tea it gives it a similar flavour.

RainIsAGoodThing · 20/07/2016 01:31

OP I'd probably react exactly the same! I would see it as a total disregard for my feelings.

As an aside I don't think there's ever such thing as 'an overreaction'. There's only your reaction, which might not be the same as another person's but is still valid! But then I suppose I would say that

I did laugh at 'clove food' though.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/07/2016 02:18

I'm actually really impressed that we've got this far into the thread and no one has yet asked what relation the house guest is to the OP. I'm going to guess it's either her sister or her cousin.
Which makes it even more, IMO, inappropriate that the OP's DH was trying to involve them in the "joke" against the OP.

I don't much like your DH, TheCat. Does he do this sort of thing, try to "gang up against you" with your friends regularly? Or is this a real one-off?

Original poster
TheCatAteMyHomework · 20/07/2016 02:21

I disagree I'm acting like a child. Dh was actually annoyed with me after I asked him why he did it. Another technique he has to avoid answering why he does something.
I honestly feel like it was a way of getting back at me. I went for a long bath while dinner was being cooked and when I came out he's just smirking about it. He's good at doing things like that. Claims after that it's an accident but I don't believe it.

I'm not high maintenance. I do all the Shitwork around the house. Cleaning toilets, washing, all the housework including cleaning up after people have cooked (aren't I lucky) I get these tasks to do because I'm a stay at home parent and Dh has the big job. (Good for him. I can't get back into my career until numerous hoops have been jumped through so this isn't my choice. I'm just stuck waiting at the moment).

We had just spoken about me feeling disrespected by having to clean other people's piss off the toilets and feeling like people play kitchen time and I get the delight of the cleaning up to do after them whereas if I cook I clean all my crap up.

So this meal was meant to be making my life easier and less of me wiping everyone's are for them and instead Dh turned it into me having no dinner and feeling like a complete idiot.

He knows I'm upset. He doesn't care about that and that is the problem. Not fucking cloves.

OP posts:
Onesieisthequeensselfie · 20/07/2016 02:39

He sounds like an arsehole.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/07/2016 03:00

Yup, he's a wanker. Thanks for you and Angry about his behaviour and lack of care.

Simmi1 · 20/07/2016 03:23

Oh no OP, feel completely different about the whole situation now. I thought you were acting childish but now I agree your husband is being a wanker. Agree with whoever said the smell of cooking liver makes them ill - me too - and sometimes even the smell of lamb cooking turns my stomach although I don't mind the taste of lamb when it's cooked.

mathanxiety · 20/07/2016 03:37

You are married to a horrible man.

Serve beans on toast for the next month.

Roussette · 20/07/2016 06:52

Well.... that's a different story altogether. Why on earth didn't guest clear up the dinner dishes after her/himself?

BertrandRussell · 20/07/2016 07:26

He is obviously an arsehole.

Do you freak out every time you pass an Indian takeaway?

Original poster
TheCatAteMyHomework · 20/07/2016 07:38

Guest cleared up.
I have however had to remind people that I clear up when I cook and then seem to end up clearing up when others cook.
I don't freak out passing takeaways no. I was just annoyed that I had no dinner because selfish dh thought it would be hilarious to let someone cook clove curry.

I won't be cooking tonight. Or for a while.

OP posts:
trafalgargal · 20/07/2016 08:23

You're a parent ?
Wow food issues with kids in your house must be a laugh a minute.
I don't really understand your complaint that you have to do the lions share of the housework though ...your husband works full time and you stay at home with the kids so yeah you'll be doing more than him..why is this so wrong ?
But then I also don't understand why you'd have cloves in your cupboard either.