I have a screamer next door.

[ModreB]

Lovely family, but the youngest, about 4yo is a screamer. She screams in the garden, bathroom, living room. Everywhere.

Has done for 2 years since they moved in. Screams instantly at 2am if she wakes up. Screams if the door is shut. Or open. You get the message.

If I'm honest, I feel sympathy for the DM. (DF is absent a lot of the time)

2 older DC's, who dont scream.

I have 3 DC's who didnt scream.

I would never dream of complaining, BIABU to be a bit fed up.

So a child who can't help making noise due to sn shouldn't be allowed to enjoy their own garden?

bumsexatthebingo Well I'm not saying that at all, I think of course they should be allowed (so long as it's at an appropriate time and not midnight etc) - that said I do sympathise with people who can't enjoy their garden due to children screaming all day long.

You did say that people with a screamer (sn or otherwise) should keep the source of the noise inside.

I don't think you can automatically assume SN either. Some children are just more difficult or wilful than others or maybe they have just gotten into a pattern of behaviour that seems to get him or her the attention that they want and they are therefore carrying on with it. Or maybe the child does have some SN and the parents are struggling to cope, we don't know that isn't the case for sure either.

Either way, the OP needs to politely point out that it is having an impact on her right to quiet enjoyment of her home and see what the neighbours say/do. It may be that nothing does work, however if the neighbour is unaware that it is bothering the OP then she may not try any harder to establish the cause of the screaming and stop it. (although if it was my child I'm sure I'd be as demented with it as the OP and already be trying everything I could think off so presume that the parents will be doing the same....but, people are strange so you never know.)

bumsexatthebingo - No I didn't.

I have a child with asd and have worked with plenty of 4 yr olds with sn and without so I have my opinion. I've never come across a typically developing 4 yo that would scream so frequently and loud enough to disturb neighbours due to a door not being how they like it.
It was also my advice that the op speak to the neighbours but I think a bit of understanding is required rather than 'your kid is screaming sort it out'.

No sorry you didn't semi but you defended it.

bumsexatthebingo - No, I did not. Please do stop putting words in my mouth. I stated 'Not saying I agree with the statement however.'

But some children with sn cannot help making noise. So saying that noisy children should be kept inside whether they have sn or not is still an awful thing to say. Not sure why you felt the need to defend it if you didn't agree but hiding this thread anyway now as some of the views on here are just unpleasant.

NRTFT. Although you're not unreasonable for feeling fed up, there's not a lot you can do about it.
The eldest here was an absolute bloody nightmare when he was smaller - screamed, and also was awake most of the night and refused to sleep.
Neighbours loved us. (Not.)
It's a phase though.
Some kids are just like that, I don't think they know how to be quiet!
All good now though, and they do grow out of it.

bumsexatthebingo - I've already stated I did not defend it. Again I am asking you nicely to please stop putting words in my mouth.

And am I the only one who read the thread title and thought this was going to be about her neighbour's sexual antics?

Haha, not just you - I came onto the thread all ready to offer my sympathies as our thankfully now ex neighbour got a new girlfriend who was a proper screamer. Traumatising. Shudder. Could barely look him in the eye when passed in the street the next day, lol

I think a bit of understanding is required rather than 'your kid is screaming sort it out'.

So who said that's what the OP should do?

I am going to have a loud party on Saturday night. I will be considerate and wait till the brat is in bed. Might play Guns N Roses at full volume.

Realitycheque saying that kids with SN should be kept inside is disablist. Reported.

Kids that don't have social awareness shouldn't be allowed a garden but it's fine for NT kids.

Thecook are you actually serious? "Too posh to push" and "entitled" because can't walk far when heavily pregnant.

Poor neighbour.

All flats /semi-detached houses etc should be soundproofed IMO.

This child next door to OP may or may not have SN but there are some people who can't help making noise and others who can't help being particularly affected by it such as the OP's DS who has an ASD. I'm not suggesting that it's pleasant for a neighbour who doesn't have an ASD etc but the tolerance threshold may be higher.

I feel your pain OP.

Completely ignorant but real question from someone with no kids: has anyone with a screaming child tried to scream back at them in the same way/same volume so they are aware of how it sounds to other people? Does it make any difference?

(or perhaps recording them and play it back at them at same volume?)

My DS was a screamer and still is sometimes at 4, going on 5. He will still occasionally scream when things don't go his way or in concert with his baby sister but it is not as intense as it used to be. He is still LOUD though and intense. I never figured out a way to stop it. If all of you commenters who think parents 'just shouldn't put up with it' have any suggestions on how to make it stop then pass them on! I'm all ears.

My doctor maintained DS was attention-seeking feeding off the reactions he got but it's kind of hard to ignore someone who is screaming so loud it makes my teeth chatter. Sometimes I jump out of my skin involuntarily because it's so loud. I never ever gave in to any screaming but it never seemed to be about that. It seemed to be more about him letting off steam. Nothing I did in terms of discipline or consequences ever made a difference because he was impulsive about it. The only reason it stopped was because he developed more self control. It is really hellish and I feel for any parents in the same situation.

The thing is with a 4 yr old there must be something she can do, reward charts for using quiet voices etc. Its a bit selfish of the parent to allow it.

Hopefully reading the rest of this thread has made you realise that some children just scream no matter what their parents try. Not being able to stop your child screaming doesn't make them selfish. In fact the parents of screamers probably want them to stop more than anyone else does.

Ds isn't a screamer but does make loud repetitive noises. He finds other children's screaming very distressing and will self harm and go for other children because of it.
When he is being very noisy I limit his time in the garden to 30 mins and then will bring him in for 30 mins before allowing him out again. If we had a screamer next door I would hope we could work something out between us.

Funnily enough kid downstairs has been screaming since 6am. If I was very bothered I'd wear earplugs but tbh I am just wondering what's wrong with her to sound so upset. And I gave misophpnua and understand about noise sensitivity very well.

Or even misophonia. My autocorrect has typos in it for some reason