I have a screamer next door.

[ModreB]

Lovely family, but the youngest, about 4yo is a screamer. She screams in the garden, bathroom, living room. Everywhere.

Has done for 2 years since they moved in. Screams instantly at 2am if she wakes up. Screams if the door is shut. Or open. You get the message.

If I'm honest, I feel sympathy for the DM. (DF is absent a lot of the time)

2 older DC's, who dont scream.

I have 3 DC's who didnt scream.

I would never dream of complaining, BIABU to be a bit fed up.

If her mother mentions it again then I'd be honest and say I can hear it.

Ds is 8. He has adhd, and is on the ASD spectrum. I feel very sorry for my neighbours with the constant screaming and shouting and weird high pitched noises he makes. You have my sympathies OP

I don't think I would put it with my children doing it!

I love it when people say things like that. My DD went through a stage around October where she started screaming. Every day, numerous times she'd suddenly start screaming like someone was murdering her. Sometimes for a reason (like the leaf blew away) and sometime just because. She's almost 3, good vocabulary and can usually be reasoned with.

I tried telling her off, removing her to her room, shouting at her, ignoring it, distraction, rewards for good behaviour, sticker charts and one day I even tried joining in. I even took her to the doctors twice in case she was in pain. We tried everything we could think of and nothing would stop her. She was out fourth child and we hadn't had anything like that with the others. We talked to her about. We explained it wasn't good (it was hurting her throat) and she'd agree, but we'd be there again.

Very few people happily live with a screaming child. It's soul destroying because it hurts your ears, you have to watch your child hurt their throat, you are on edge about the neighbours, about going to the shops, about someone reporting you to SS because it sounds like your child being murdered, about the other kids getting disturbed and about the fact that absolutely nothing works.

DH and I had a conversation with DD on the 12th of April, same conversation we'd had numerous times before and she hasn't done it since. I have NO idea what worked that day that never worked before.

I think it's lovely that you are not giving your neighbour grief. You sound like a very patient and lovely person.

Well, that's the perplexing thing, OP. You have a child with an invisible disability and yet in your second post you mention 'no SN seen'

It's a bit paradoxical.

Anyway, I do sympathise. I'm sure the mum is doing the best she can.

You have every right to vent about it (shit I vent all the time) but I'm 😒 I'm afraid at the ignorant comments in this thread.

If it's affecting your ds, could he be helped with ear defenders? (I know not all children will tolerate them though)
It's hard. We live in such small proximity of one another, often in inadequate spaced housing and with complex issues. I'm not sure what the answer is

I have a child with sn and another younger, loud one, but I'm lucky enough to live in the .middle of not anywhere

I totally relate to your post LaLa

froginapan maybe you should read/reread the OP post

am allowed to vent when the child in question has not, according to the Mum and Dad any SN. But is just LOUD. And screamy.

The parents of the screamer say no SN.

We at some point will move house, price dictates that a semi will give us the space we need at a suitable price, but it is a semi and they are so loud, I would be so conscious living that close to people (currently in a detached).

They don't scream during the night thankfully.

there is a screamer in our block too. big boobs muffle it a bit, as does the hug that is needed to implement boob mufflers. oh and get those stomping feet off the floor.

ah well it is nearly the end of term and there will be a significant decrease in the number of tantrums when holiday mode kicks in.

I've often said if we lived in a field I could break dd out of some of her issues and obsessions. Unfortunately that's not possible as the chaos that ensued would annoy the neighbours.

She's now in an adolescent MH unit. She can scream to her heart's content! Yay!

Breakdown

Perhaps you should make yourself aware that there are plenty of undiagnosed SN children who are walking around -especially at that age.

If the child did have SN then would it not still be reasonable to vent about it? I mean the impact on the OP would still be the same regardless. OP seems very sympathetic but very frustrated, surely that is understandable whether the child has SN or not?

I feel your pain OP.

I have a screamer next door. The mother is so entitled. I am permanently tired. I come home from work and try and sleep for an hour but the minute I lie down the screaming starts. I gently suggested taking the baby to the park but the entitled mother said it was too far to walk. The lazy arse. Baby number two is coming tomorrow. Too posh to push as well. I work for the PO so early starts.

I will be getting my vac out on Friday night when I come home from the late show at the cinema. Fuck em.

I am that mother with the screaming child. Mine is three and screams as she's non verbal and has autism. That's what my dh had to say to one neighbour (neither of our next door neighbours so god knows where she lived). We'd like her to stop screaming as it drives me fucking demented. I feel your pain but for me I have no control over her though I have banned her most of the time from the garden. I do feel your pain tho.

I'm always amazed at the sheer volume a small child can produce. Even if I really tried, I don't think I could scream so loud as most 3 year olds

too posh to push as well how on earth is that relevant?

You have a child with asd yet you say a child who screams at times of transition and due to inflexible thought has 'no seen sn'
You then change your story when challenged and say that you have been told by the parents that the child doesn't have sn. Did you ask them or did they volunteer that information?
As others have said there are plenty of 4 yos with undiagnosed sn.
If you say the parents are nice and they don't let the other children scream then that would indicate it isn't a discipline issue.
Earplugs/defenders, background music or a sympathetic chat with neighbours to see if anything can be done to reduce the impact on you son could all help.

I thought this was going to be about thumping headboards etc..

At least they aren't playing the violin, or the damn piccolo. Oh god, the scales..

You have to say something if it's waking you all up. Get a mediator and include all the children in the discussion.

Froginapan I have a DS in his 20s who has ASD and was made so anxious by the screaming last year that I have been unable to get him to come home from university this summer . I am sorry that we are on different sides of the fence (as it were) on this one.
Where we can agree is that a different sort of scream would be more interesting.

If you say the parents are nice and they don't let the other children scream then that would indicate it isn't a discipline issue.

We don't know that actually, maybe the other children didn't scream or stopped immediately after being gently asked to once.

Maybe they don't treat all their children the same, maybe thi sone is a different gender to the other two so they are more indulgent, or maybe they know this is the last one so they they are more indulgent. Who knows? Maybe they are trying or maybe they they are too soft.

So kids with sn should be kept inside Not disablist at all!

We don't KNOW that wankers but from what the op has said I would assume some sort of sn.