AIBU to think that this lady has lost her mind ...

[kavvLar]

South Kiosk at Martello Park Felixstowe out this status up on Facebook earlier today:

"Can we make ourselves perfectly clear to all parents who are too scared to disipline their children about tantrum screaming. We will give you five lenient minutes to ask the child to stop screaming and then we will ask the child ourselves. If that means you too having a tantrum about our having to speak to your child and hurling threats about not returning – that's really okay with us. We have a duty of care to the rest of our customers."

Cue hundreds of people flaming them on Facebook and 1* reviewing the business.

What on earth were they thinking?

Probably a very silly post for a business to post....but people going on and giving 1* ratings and writing stupid comments on all there old posts is also stupid and idiotic

I agree with them, one thing I will not tolerate is mine have a tantrum meltdown in public. It's not "damaging" to the child's well being to them that there is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

My 18 month old threw a fit in Starbucks today. I told her no and try to distract her a few times. She was hot and tired. I felt the same myself to be honest. We were getting a few looks so we did leave sooner than intended, but finished drinks first.

It's the real world we live in and kids are a huge part of that. Yes nobody enjoys listening to meltdowns but it's part of the outside world, you have to tolerate it at least a small bit. We can't lock them all away until they grow up. Life isn't about peace and quiet and a perfect life whenever you want it. Maybe in some situations we use our discretion, say a library or a restaurant, but not a social cafe or a god damn ice cream kiosk outside.

Honestly I'm starting to think it's a case of entitlement whenever I have to hear somebody moaning about somebody else's screaming kid. It's part of life to some extent. Can you imagine how these people would have fared hundreds of years ago? Life is pretty sweet today in many aspects for a first world country, it's about time they realised it. Try chugging your poop out the first floor window then going for a stroll later on down the street. I'd take a tantrum over that any day.

at "I hope her freezer malfunctions."

I think if more people were educated about the brain (and body) they would understand exactly why emotional outbursts or 'tantrums' occur and why adhering to all the 'rules' in the handbook doesn't work every time. They just blame the parent - that takes fewer brain cells you see.

Unfortunately the majority of people who find toddler's 'bad' behaviour intolerable and unacceptable simply don't know anything about the human body. Not outside GCSE biology anyway.

It's about time people were more informed. Then they might know not to start man-handling other people's children in the street. I have many stresses in life, but nothing that would lead me to that.

I hate FB witch hunts too, but hmmmm I do think this lady might have lost her mind...

I have a toddler. She's generally fairly well behaved but she is a bundle of energy and she does kick off in public places sometimes. I obviously do what I can to prevent it and if she's disturbing people I will take her away. Only on one occasion has anyone been less than understanding about her general toddler antics. I just assumed that person was a bit of a cunt having a bad day.

The lady's post is just weird though. Could it be a publicity stunt? I can't believe she hasn't removed it tbh.

When my DC were small, nothing stopped a tantrum except ignoring it, the more I tried to distract/soothe, etc, the worse they got. DGD is going the same way, if that women had tried to hold on to her she would have been bitten or headbutted (speaking from bitter experience). If, as parents, they had tried distraction and then gone to ignoring, it was no one elses place to interfere.

Posting that on FB is stupid in the extreme

It is a kiosk which has a couple of metal tables and chairs out front.

I have been there once (with DC, pre this, no problems) and I think part of their USP is home made cakes and sausage rolls etc so to expect a longer wait. They had a notice up to that effect. Looks like an ice cream kiosk though so maybe kids are getting grumpy waiting in line. I don't know.

It's sad to see though. They have really good produce but this outburst has quite put me off. I'm sick of parent shaming.

Presumably it's popular? Who wants to listen to screaming undisciplined kids!?

I hope her freezers malfunction.

That's such a wonderfully British thing to say!

"one thing I will not tolerate is mine have a tantrum meltdown in public."

How do you stop them? If you have the answer, I think we'd all like to know.

Asking them to stop screaming has never worked with my 2 when they've been having a tantrum. By the time it gets to the screaming stage, they're usually beyond listening to reason or demands that they be quiet. Distraction sometimes works, as does removing them from the situation (where possible) and ignoring them until they've got over it.
But a stranger telling them off or grabbing their wrist would only add fuel to the fire.

I hope her freezers malfunction.

Best of MN in a long time

I can't tell my 2 year old dd to stop because she feeds off the attention im giving her. If i ignore it and let her have her tantrum its over in minutes. If that woman lay her hands on my child i would probably hit her (and im not an aggressive person)

Another poster has just said this on another thread about a child disrupting guests in a quiet hotel bar, and it also applies to this situation, "I like children. I like them playing in play areas. I don't like them screaming and running around in places that are supposed to be calm places where people generally sit in quiet conversation. It's not safe and it's not fair."

It literally is just as the OP describes.

What happens if she speaks to your DC about their tantrum and nothing happens?

They've just put up another post, trying to defend themselves.

It's too long to c&p but it mentions they support a charity that's against child traffiking in Cambodia

What an own-goal by the business owner. There are going to be so many tantrums around that kiosk now, with kids wanting ice-cream and furious parents determined to boycott the kiosk.

A few people have mentioned meltdowns rather than tantrums. They're entirely different (though sometimes can look similar). Children with ASD have meltdowns and disciplining them for it would be the equivalent of disciplining a child with epilepsy for having a seizure.

I don't tolerate mine having tantrums in public either.

They still DO it but I think it's important that I am understood not to tolerate it. I do this by standing at a distance, pretending they are with someone else and tutting loudly at them for the benefit of all right minded individuals in the near vicinity.

I wasn't in Felixstowe this weekend though so this can't have been occasioned by DS.

The smug parents on this thread need to get over themselves. Kids have tantrum. No amount of I won't tolerate that behaviour bullshit will stop a 2 year old strop,

Thus you remove your kid from the place in which they are having their tantrum, and walk them around until they are quiet, or let them have a paddy on the grass away from where it will disturb others. Perhaps some of us have managed to do that, so the strop has happened and not caused a disturbance.

You may choose to tolerate the behaviour - I chose to remove ds so he could have his paddy in glorious solitude elsewhere (normally the car), and we would go home.

The thing is Somerville, 'meltdown' is a phrase used by many to mean tantrum and has been for years.