WIBU (and a bit churlish) to refuse to pick this woman up?

[justnotaballetmum]

Pertinent facts are:

1. I'm at work this afternoon. The job involves driving but has a clear start point.

1. I'm working with someone else who doesn't drive, so she is in my car for the duration of the shift.

1. The woman lives close to me, but not 'that' close. 2 and a half miles away from me or eight minutes drive (according to googlemaps)

1. The start point is 7 miles away from me, and 7 miles from her.

1. There are buses every fifteen minutes.

Sigh. So, I got a text - 'would you be able to pick me up please'

On the one hand, the weather is not great and it isn't far and blah blah.

But it's about half an hour extra if I count driving to hers, picking her up, then back again. Plus, I wanted to set off earlier to nip in to the supermarket which is en route.

The really unreasonable part though is that I just don't like her she isn't horrible or anything but irritating - yaps and yaps and asks endless questions that aren't meant awkwardly but are, and she is very entitled with lifts (the asking rather than telling is new.)

So - unreasonable to reply that I can't/won't, or mean spirited?

I know, I'm just ignoring.

If she starts when I'm working with her I'll just suggest she learns to drive

Don't respond to texts about the bus.

Thumb

I think I'd text back:

"Sounds shit. That's why I learned to drive and got a car".

I'm getting regaled with texts complaining about the bus

Reply with the number for the local driving school

Next time you're with her, break into a chorus of The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round.

Don't engage!! Silence now is best. You've stated your position, that's the end of it.

DO NOT REPLY!!

Text her "have you considered driving lessons or getting a bike"

then say that youre worried shes beome reliant on you and your car, and while you never minded the idea of an occasional essential lift if really stuck, you certainly dont want to be giving lifts every day when its completely out of your way

Just be assertive.

Suggest she reads a book. It's great.

Or go on MN on the way. With any luck she finds out SIBU.

Wow is she entitled much!

I really really don't understand GROWN ADULTS who don't drive. Partly it comes from growing up in North America where everyone drives, but honestly it baffles me that people in this day and age don't. Unless you live in like Zone 1 in London or something.

Next time you're with her, break into a chorus of The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round.

Do this

She replied saying she didn't know what time the buses were but ok - I just didn't reply.

Oh god I just HATE this level of immaturity. From an adult. FFS even when they were starting secondary school my DSCs were perfectly capable of finding out when their bus was, whether that was on the bus stop timetable or online.

I don't drive and threads like this always make me mad because they give us non-drivers a bad name! I am perfectly happy getting a bus thank you, I will gratefully accept a lift if offered (and it genuinely doesn't put the driver out) but I don't ask or expect, EVER.

Cagliostro out of interest why don't you drive?

Enjoying this thread. Please let us know how your shift goes in the company of this woman!

Maintain silence OP.

When you get to work do NOT ask how her journey was.

If a lift home is requested - "sorry i can't" or "that doesn't work for me"

If she hints she has to wait aaaages for the bus home, make a non-committal noise (like hmah) then smile and wave bye. Walk to car (try not to skip). Do NOT look back or it'll be like thingy in the underworld and you'll never escape her clutches.

Perhaps with the first text about the buses

"She replied saying she didn't know what time the buses were but ok"

You should have replied "neither do I", "oh dear" or "you'd better find out-& don't forget return times as well"

Ignore/switch ypur phone off!

Any complaining just say, "that sounds really difficult for you". Over and over.

Any direct request to you to solve her problem, "no, i wouldnt be able to do that" and restart the "that sounds really difficult for you" if she carries on complaining.

Any request for specific reasons, "it wouldnt work for me".

If she carries on, dont give reasons (it's not of her business) just repeat, "i understand that it is difficult for you, i've explained I can't help."

I really really don't understand GROWN ADULTS who don't drive. - there are LOTS of reasons why a grown adult doesn't drive. My ds2 has vision [problems, and will never be able to drive. My friend has epilepsy and can never drive. Some people have anxiety.

Maybe a little empathy?

YANBU at all OP - stand firm and ignore her texts, the fact she cba to check the bus times is not your problem.

heartstrumpdiamonds - so do blind people in north America drive, then?

It's a bit of a myth that everyone in the US drives anyway. Some areas have practically non existent public transit - other places it's rather good.

I do drive but don't like it so tend to avoid it on holiday....last holiday was Chicago and Michigan - no car needed. (although I did Uber on one occasion)

"I don't know what time the buses are". Give me strength. She has opposable thumbs hasn't she?

You could never be unreasonable, OP. Purely for providing a list of Pertinent facts. Make it so much easier to see how reasonable you are.

Text her a taxi firm number, then remind her she'll have to pay them.

Hearts I don't drive because I was shite at learning, lacked decisiveness and would be a hazard on the road, not to mention affording the cost of lessons, another car and insurance.

Not everyone is a lazy ,can't be bothered to learn lift botherer

Looking forward to an update later after your shift.

I bet she'll try and guilt trip you.