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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey???

467 replies

Gizzle · 13/07/2016 21:16

DS came home very subdued and downcast after the annual school day trip to the seaside today. Turns out that he left his bag on the beach (not unusual, he's an 8yo boy after all) but luckily it was retrieved by a teacher. However, when he asked politely for the bag, she refused to give it to him for the entire duration of the return coach journey, even though it contained his water bottle and he was clearly very thirsty after a day on the beach. I'm not sure what kind of lesson she was hoping to teach him, but I would have thought that children of this age should be helped towards independence, and not punished into it. And refusing a thirsty child water? Is there ever a case for that?

OP posts:
smallfox2002 · 17/07/2016 20:10

Thats what you have to ask the teacher :).

If there is a logical explanation thats fine, not fine if not, its not as simple as: " Why not give a drink of water."

But I will give you a reasonable situation. The children were all told that they must have a drink, wee etc before they get on the bus, other posters are correct about how strict some bus companies are with school trips. Boy in question still asks for a drink whilst on the trip and the teacher says no because then everyone else would want one too and this would be against the rules.

It was two hours without a drink, not days, anyway, this is ridiculous and quite frankly has got to PFB situation.

budgiegirl · 17/07/2016 20:11

But I guess this was a coach travelling at normal speed in normal road conditions and presumably one of those water bottles with a drinkable nozzle, like most of them have

Exactly, you're guessing. We all are. I could guess that the child had been previously squirting water around, as many 8 year olds are prone to do, especially in warm weather. So the teacher refused go give him water. But I'd be guessing.

limitedperiodonly · 17/07/2016 20:12

So you'd say no then

bungleknows · 17/07/2016 20:12

How rude! I actually have a child with diabetes and kidney issues so I'm fully aware of vulnerable children and risks of dehydration, which would happen after a prolonged time without hydration.

However, a coach journey -can last without water! Should the journey be too long then there are regulations for stops etc, just as there is the rule no water on coaches.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/07/2016 20:17

So why not give the person a drink of water?

Because they didn't have it to give.

limitedperiodonly · 17/07/2016 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EvilTwins · 17/07/2016 21:46

However, in careful consideration...

So fucking wrong about something none of us know the facts of

Your logic is frankly bonkers.

Boiing · 17/07/2016 22:00

Yanbu. Teacher was either on a power trip or unbelievably thick. I would definitely complain.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/07/2016 22:07

going to go with Eviltwins on this one.

AgentPineapple · 17/07/2016 23:38

I'm sure OP said way way way down the post that there was no 'rule' about drinking on the bus, as such the only conclusion can be is that the teacher thought withholding the bag (and water along with it) was a valuable lesson. That is completely wrong. I don't think there is any suggestion that he was going to suffer seriously from no water for two hours, however after a day of running about on a beach, if he was thirsty, this would have made for a very uncomfortable bus ride. This was completely needless and will not prevent him ever forgetting anything ever again either. The teachers subsequent comments (which were invited) during the journey were cruel and unnecessary and bordering on bullying as she invites others to ridicule him for making a mistake, a mistake which lets face it, wasn't the end of the world. OP would have had to replace his bag and contents of the teacher hadn't noticed, not the school or the teacher herself.

AgentPineapple · 17/07/2016 23:40

Should say uninvited re the teachers comments, not invited!

smallfox2002 · 17/07/2016 23:42

But again, we still only have the word of an 8 year old boy on what happened , and what was said.

Yet it doesn't stop you lot from making all sorts of judgements regarding the teacher and how professional she is etc.

just wow.

DixieNormas · 18/07/2016 02:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe · 18/07/2016 06:15

Did I miss it or did the OP not refuse to tell us the outcome of her discussion with the Teacher?

For me, that indicates that her son had indeed been only telling a fraction of the story and she is embarrassed to tell us what really happened.

If it was a case of the teacher being wrong, I'm sure she would have happily continued slagging the teacher off on mumsnet as she did in the OP.

Yes there are cases where teachers are wrong, but the OPS silence says otherwise.

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe · 18/07/2016 06:20

Just having a flick through - murderous! GrinGrinGrin

I won't ask you what happened or thank you for a nice day out, but I will murder you.

BoneyBackJefferson · 18/07/2016 06:44

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe

the OP posted yesterday that she hadn't spoken to the teacher but when she did the outcome would remain private as some things are not for sharing.

The short form of an answer is that I agree with you.

Original poster
Gizzle · 18/07/2016 08:09

I am due to speak to the teacher today.

At our school, we are not able to email the teachers, and as she isn’t DS’s teacher, I don’t have easy access to her. So I had to make an appointment.

And as I have been accused of being loopy, ridiculous, lying, attention seeking, a massive fusspot, a helicopter parent, a she-bear, teacher-bashing, Nicky Morgan, (oh why not Michael Gove I ask?), having egg on my face, and from my favourite poster, that I have ‘repeatedly failed to inform us of your discussion with the teacher’, I don’t feel like opening myself or my 8 year old son up to further comment from the MN AIBU community. So yes, the outcome of this regrettable incident will remain private.

Is that OK?

Thanks to all of you who have sent me personal messages of support – I really have appreciated hearing from you.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 18/07/2016 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hidingwithwine · 18/07/2016 09:11

It's all about the privacy. That's why people post on an Internet forum.....Hmm

OurBlanche · 18/07/2016 09:27

And in keeping it private it will always be assumed by many that:

a) An 8 year old is a lying, devious little demon
b) A teacher is an evil power tripping bitch

Nice OP. Open it up and run away! That is what internet forums are used for....

AgentPineapple · 18/07/2016 09:27

small we can only deal with the facts as we know them, as always we only ever have one side of the story. OP I am sorry you have been called names etc that is wrong. I think your post is perfectly valid. I really hope discussions with the school go well and a resolution is agreed.

budgiegirl · 18/07/2016 11:06

I think your post is perfectly valid

I think the question AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey??? is perfectly valid.

Flouncing off after not liking some of the answers, and saying it's a private matter is not.

After all, if the OP is so confident that she's right to be angry before hearing the whole story, why ask AIBU?

AgentPineapple · 18/07/2016 11:59

bugie maybe she didn't expect some of the bile that she received.

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe · 18/07/2016 11:59

Next time that teacher finds a kids bag she's going to leave it on the beach! Not worth this hassle! She's now denying human rights!

AgentPineapple · 18/07/2016 12:00

bitch she could have just given him his water out the bag..