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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey???

467 replies

Gizzle · 13/07/2016 21:16

DS came home very subdued and downcast after the annual school day trip to the seaside today. Turns out that he left his bag on the beach (not unusual, he's an 8yo boy after all) but luckily it was retrieved by a teacher. However, when he asked politely for the bag, she refused to give it to him for the entire duration of the return coach journey, even though it contained his water bottle and he was clearly very thirsty after a day on the beach. I'm not sure what kind of lesson she was hoping to teach him, but I would have thought that children of this age should be helped towards independence, and not punished into it. And refusing a thirsty child water? Is there ever a case for that?

OP posts:
BoGrainger · 16/07/2016 18:17

I had to chuckle at the poster who commented that for someone who's constantly forgetting things his account of the incident was remarkably detailed Grin

Raynasmum2015 · 16/07/2016 18:47

Actually punkrocker I think you'll find it is

Gizzle · 16/07/2016 18:47

Actually, I hadn’t pissed off, I had decided that I didn’t want to participate any longer as the tone of this thread had become extremely unpleasant, and that had never been my intention. Perhaps it’s just the bearpit nature of the AIBU arena, in that many posters see it as an opportunity to pronounce judgement from the safety of their online anonymity. Not so very different to trolling, is it?

To be clear, this was not meant as a ‘teacher bashing’ exercise. As I had said in a previous post, I respect and admire the noble profession of teaching. From my limited experience of assisting in class, it requires an enormous amount of skill, dedication and endurance to be a teacher. I couldn’t do it. In my life, there have been teachers who have inspired and championed me. They have held my hand and encouraged me and I will never forget them. But along with those memories, I still recall the one that humiliated and abused me. Let’s not pretend that teaching is somehow not susceptible to bad practice.

I still retain a respect for authority that was instilled in me as a child, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t question authority when I feel it merits questioning. They may be overworked and undervalued at times (aren’t we all?) but teachers, just like anyone else, are not beyond gentle reproach.

Of course this was nothing in comparison to current world events. Nobody died. World War III did not break out. Thanks to those of you who felt it necessary to comment thus. If we used that line of argument every time we felt like questioning something, we would just give up, the status quo would be maintained, and nothing would ever change. Not very democratic I’d say.

The only question there ever was in my mind is this: is it acceptable to deny a thirsty child a drink of water (from his water bottle) when others around him are drinking? Yes, drinking was allowed on the bus. Yes, the bottle was in his bag, which was under the teacher’s seat directly behind him and not inaccessible. Yes, I completely believe his story as I questioned him at length. Yes, he is completely and utterly forgetful when it comes to personal belongings, but not when it comes to retelling events, which requires a very different kind of intelligence (how can you not get that BoGrainger and that other one). Yes, he had spent the day on the beach and was very thirsty. Yes, he is an 8 year old boy, not an adult, not even nearly.

Thank you to all of you who have read this thread and taken the time to comment.

OP posts:
BoGrainger · 16/07/2016 18:51

What was the teacher's version when you asked her what happened?

Longlost10 · 16/07/2016 18:52

under the seat could well have been totally inaccessible, and water isn't going to do much to rehydrate a hot tired child in any case, just make him need the toilet.

Gizzle · 16/07/2016 18:52

One more thing…

In the words of the great Liz Lemon: "Shut it down"…

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KirstyLaura · 16/07/2016 19:42

I have to say i'm surprised by the spiteful comments on this thread? He's 8... Have you never been thirsty and got distracted by something and forgot to get a drink? I do it all the time, I go to make myself a drink but then I get my two children drinks, the washing machine beeps or the phone rings and it's another hour before I actually get my drink. You can teach responsibility whilst accepting people still make mistakes sometimes.

I mean, of course ask the teacher what happened, it's not unreasonable to ask that question. I also don't think it's unreasonable that the teachers check the proximity as they're leaving, for lost property. I don't think you owe her a medal for that although i'm sure a thank you would be appreciated.

It in no way justifies her withholding his water whatsoever. Was everyone else allowed water? If she held onto his bag as punishment then yes I'd be pretty mad about that and I would follow it up, allong with the snide comments about his forgetfulness.

KirstyLaura · 16/07/2016 19:44

Longlost10 I'm sorry?! Water won't rehydrate him?! What science do you base that on haha!

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 19:44

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Maybebabybee · 16/07/2016 19:47

I've just seen this thread and it's bizarre Confused

Honestly, I see some utterly minor things labelled as cruel on MN but apparently denying a child a bottle of water is totally fine. This place!!

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 19:59

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limitedperiodonly · 16/07/2016 20:16

Two mean teachers? I don't think so.

Have you never heard of a tag team? I used to love the Borg Twins on World of Sport on 70s Saturday afternoons.

They were really mean.

Though I do think those pictures are of the same person.

LockedOutOfMN · 16/07/2016 20:20

KirstyLaura Because hydration and fluid absorption are not the same thing. Drinking water in this situation would just make the OP's son need the toilet, rather than hydrating his whole body.

smallfox2002 · 16/07/2016 20:27

So the OP comes back, says nothing about what was said by the teacher etc etc.

She got told a different story and can't justify her original, or any of the teacher bashers reactions.

KirstyLaura · 16/07/2016 20:54

We've got a Google doctor. In what situation? A thirsty child?? He wasn't passing out from heat stroke was he? He was thirsty from a day at the beach. I'm sure he'd been drinking throughout the day also? And he didn't have masses of water to dilute the minerals in his body further, he had one bottle of water that would be infinitely superior to nothing at all.

limitedperiodonly · 16/07/2016 21:05

What's wrong with giving the kid a drink of water?

smallfox2002 · 16/07/2016 21:10

This reply has been deleted

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Jodie1982 · 16/07/2016 21:42

This place is fuckin insane. I will never post on AIBU.

What's wrong in letting an 8yr old child have a sip of water?

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 21:43

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheEagle · 16/07/2016 21:47

What did the teacher say to you OP?

Jodie1982 · 16/07/2016 21:50

This whole place (AIBU) is dramatic. Nothing but horrible bitchiness.

ilovesooty · 16/07/2016 21:52

Nothing but horrible bitchiness

That's an exaggeration.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 16/07/2016 21:57

My money is on the bag being in the boot of the coach and inaccessible on the journey, and the boy not asking an adult for water on the coach and the teacher in a slumped heap on the coach having spent the day counting heads and looking out for threats that weren't on the risk assessment.
So the boy was thirsty, and yes, he should have had access to a water bottle. I think the OP won't be back if she finds out the truth.
But it's been bloody hot in the SE the last few weeks, and I've dealt with countless children that have no water bottles, no sunhats and no sunscreen. Some teachers can be negligent, as can some parents.

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.