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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey???

467 replies

Gizzle · 13/07/2016 21:16

DS came home very subdued and downcast after the annual school day trip to the seaside today. Turns out that he left his bag on the beach (not unusual, he's an 8yo boy after all) but luckily it was retrieved by a teacher. However, when he asked politely for the bag, she refused to give it to him for the entire duration of the return coach journey, even though it contained his water bottle and he was clearly very thirsty after a day on the beach. I'm not sure what kind of lesson she was hoping to teach him, but I would have thought that children of this age should be helped towards independence, and not punished into it. And refusing a thirsty child water? Is there ever a case for that?

OP posts:
JapaneseSlipper · 16/07/2016 22:04

OP I'm on your side! I haven't read the comments as frankly I can't believe anyone would think it unreasonable that people need water.

What did the teacher say!?

green18 · 16/07/2016 22:11

she told the teacher next to him that he was the most forgetful boy in Y3

OK you were not there, this is what your 8 year old 'forgetful' son told you he heard her say!

green18 · 16/07/2016 22:24

I'm a TA and have cases where children have gone home and told a completely different version of events to their parents. Often it's a parent that is not supportive of the school so I think that sometimes the child realises this and knows they will get a lot of attention for making out they have been treated badly at school. I've seen very cross parents stomp into class only to leave with their tail between their legs one they get the true series of events. Stay calm OP or that could be you!

PunkrockerGirl · 16/07/2016 23:06

Actually Raynasmum I think you'll find that it's not.
It really really isn't. Perhaps broaden your mind and do a bit of research into what actually constitutes a breach of human rights.
And then do a comparison with what you've read and a child who is fed and well cared for, such as the op's child.
Going without a drink for a couple of hours does not in any way constitute a breach of human rights, ffs, it just makes us thirsty Confused

Fairenuff · 16/07/2016 23:39

Yes, Eagle this does look like the Victorian Safe all over again.

But fiwiw...

OP what did the teacher say?

Original poster
Gizzle · 16/07/2016 23:47

What we have is the story from a small boy who said XYZ and then his paren went loopy.

Smallpox2002 I find the accusation that I went 'loopy' extremely offensive. Have you actually read my posts? Please tell me where you think there are indicators of such behaviour. As for reporting back on a private conversation between myself and a teacher so that you can scrutinise, judge and comment further… that's just not going to happen. But if you want to think that means that the incident didn't happen as I've presented it, then go ahead, knock yourself out.

OP posts:
smallfox2002 · 16/07/2016 23:49

Well you did go loopy about what you were told, in fact the title of the thread says that you are "angry".

I think that you presented this in a way that when you discuss "punishing" etc, when you don't have the full facts ( at the point of posting) is a bit off tbf.

derxa · 16/07/2016 23:50

The whole thing is idiotic since OP's son is perfectly fine. I'll say no more.

MissSeventies · 16/07/2016 23:54

My goodness! Sometimes I have to ask myself why I read these threads they make me so mad. An 8 year old forgets his bag, the teacher kindly retrieves it (thanks teacher, but you know managing young children on a school trip - part of the job) and then refuses the child water on a 2 hour trip home. The responses "maybe food and drink was prohibited", "maybe it is annoying to have a child always forgetting things", "was it dangerous for the teacher to walk up and down the coach". There is devil's advocate and there is a MN thread!

OP YANBU I would certainly be taking the matter up with the teacher and the school. If nothing else to draw their attention to your displeasure.

Original poster
Gizzle · 17/07/2016 00:01

Well you did go loopy about what you were told, in fact the title of the thread says that you are "angry".

Good Lord SmallPox - I can't be bothered to read back on all your tedious posts, but please tell me you're not a teacher.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 17/07/2016 00:12

And what did the teacher say?

maisiejones · 17/07/2016 00:16

OP is refusing to give details of her conversation with the teacher which makes me think that the situation wasn't as her son reported and OP has ended up with egg on her face.

smallfox2002 · 17/07/2016 00:28

I am dearest, But my age, and title prevent people like you who are "that parent" from ever challenging me.

In reference to my posts, I said way back when if you could prove that the teacher withheld water from your son for a spurious reason that it would be fine to challenge them.

You have repeatedly failed to inform of us of your discussion with the teacher, which leads me to the conclusion, like many people who are "that parent" you steamed in and made a prat of yourself.

Original poster
Gizzle · 17/07/2016 00:33

Ladies - I came on here to ask a simple question. That question has been asked and has elicited some interesting responses, which is the point of such an open forum. I haven't yet spoken to the teacher. If I do speak to her, the contents of that conversation will remain between me and her. I'm sorry if that's disappointing news to those of you eager for a resolution; but I'm sure others among will appreciate that not everything is for sharing. Goodnight all.

OP posts:
smallfox2002 · 17/07/2016 00:38

Then you AIBU to come to discuss it without offering a resolution.

You are also BU to be "angry" at a teacher for a perceived slight without finding out from the adult involved what happened.

Just an attention seeking thread really.

maisiejones · 17/07/2016 00:43

It would seem that everything can be shared until it doesn't elicit the hoped for response and then all of a sudden 'it isn't for sharing'. 😳

Original poster
Gizzle · 17/07/2016 00:47

Since when do all questions need to offer a resolution? People with a modicum of emotional intelligence usually appreciate that some things are private.

Pity you gave this attention seeking thread so much of yours.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 17/07/2016 00:49

I haven't yet spoken to the teacher. If I do speak to her, the contents of that conversation will remain between me and her.

Code for 'Yikes, I messed up. How the fuck am I goiing to splain this on munsnet'

Grin
smallfox2002 · 17/07/2016 00:52

But you made this public!

You asked a question AIBU?

You were given an answer by most posters that essentially was: "it depends on the other side of the tale".

You've refused to give it but exalted in the answers that give you validation.

You want things to be essentially private? Then don't air grievances on a public forum.

Now was that concise enough for your to understand?

Longlost10 · 17/07/2016 05:41

My money is on this boy being in serious trouble for some aspect of his behaviour on the trip, and coming home planning to deflect attention to this total non issue.

maybe his bag was confiscated because he was shop lifting with it, or hitting someone?

Nishky · 17/07/2016 06:09

people with a modicum of emotional intelligence usually appreciate that some things are private

Says the poster who put the issue on to Mumsnet......

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 17/07/2016 07:02

Bloody hell, is this still going?!

All this fuss over a 2 hour coach journey without water, jeez! How on earth did our generation even make it to adulthood, when we didn't have a water bottle permanently attached to us like the kids of today?! Shock

NavyandWhite · 17/07/2016 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Longlost10 · 17/07/2016 07:51

Very odd that the OP popped back on the thread after buggering off for days then says nothing about speaking to the teacher

doesn't want to admit that her DS had his bag confiscated, then she fell for his whole deflecting "downcast" routine!

Seriously, a boy was thirsty for a while, then got a drink..... why the subdued and downcast performance after woods! clearly trying to distract her from something, he's got her twizzled round his little finger

TheEagle · 17/07/2016 07:54

People with a modicum of emotional intelligence usually appreciate that some things are private

What a thoroughly unpleasant comment.

Why post your private business on a public forum in the first place if that's how you feel?

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