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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To absolutely hate when people say ...

105 replies

NoCapes · 12/07/2016 10:39

"Just pop baby in the cot/pram/bouncer/jumperoo and clean the house/get dressed/cook dinner/shear a sheep"

If it was that easy to just pop him anywhere I wouldn't have a filthy house, hair stuck to my head and DC eating beans on toast for dinner would I?!
So why don't you just pop the fuck off yeah?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 12/07/2016 10:42

Maybe it was the sling I used but I could do fuck all when baby was in it.

I couldn't cook, or clean or do the washing up? Baby was in the way !!

Pinkheart5915 · 12/07/2016 10:42

People love to offer parenting advice.

Thing is not all babies are the same my ds will entertain himself for 1/2 hour before he demands attention but a lot of babies won't.

Some people think 1 size fits all babies

For you --> Brew Cake

Smithofheavens · 12/07/2016 10:43

"Just sleep when the baby sleeps."
Ok, that'll be when I'm almost jogging with the pram, or doing a minimum of 55mph on an A road.

Crunchymum · 12/07/2016 10:43

Jumperoo was a God send though!! Gave me a few 10-15m sessions throughout the day to get essentials done.

Original poster
NoCapes · 12/07/2016 10:44

That's it, people think if their baby can entertain themselves they all can! Errrr no!
This is my third child, I kind of know what I'm doing by now, this one is just clingy and I just have to ride it out
But no, people refuse to accept that a baby can just be clingy!

OP posts:
Porcupinetree · 12/07/2016 10:44

My daughter screamed continuously unless being held. Not in a sling, not in a cot/jumper/chair. Held. YANBU

buffalogrumble · 12/07/2016 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustABigBearAlan · 12/07/2016 10:45

Yanbu!

The problem is I think that all babies are different, but many people seem incapable of grasping the fact that just because their child slept through the night from 2 weeks/ eats kale for breakfast/ never cries etc that does not mean every child will!

Original poster
NoCapes · 12/07/2016 10:45

Eurgh just sleep when baby sleeps is another one
Ok I'll do that, are you going to come round and provide childcare for the others and clean my house while I'm sleeping? No? Then hush!

OP posts:
wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna · 12/07/2016 10:47

My DS wouldn't sit anywhere but on me. He was never happy to 'just sit' anywhere. When he was awake he only wanted to be held. This continued until he was about 5 months old.

The other thing I fucking hate is when people say "well, if you're stressed/upset the baby will pick up on it". Ah, so it's my fault! I'll just stop being stressed and upset then. Job done!

KayTee87 · 12/07/2016 10:47

Yanbu - people are annoying. I think some of them even know it's impossible but want to make you feel like shit anyway as it makes them feel superior. Ignore.

KayTee87 · 12/07/2016 10:49

In fact dont ignore - ask these very helpful people if they would like to do your housework for you since they're experts.

TopiaryBun · 12/07/2016 10:49

And the word 'pop' is so fucking irritating and 1950s housewife, with all that popping to the shops and popping a casserole in the oven and popping the baby in her cot and popping a bow in your hair to welcome DH back from the World of Work.

curlyboymum · 12/07/2016 10:50

Yes, the pop word. I remember when I had new baby and toddler, would organise to go somewhere (shop/bank etc) to try and sort out stuff, timed around baby's feeds/sleeps/nappies, to be told (usually by a bloke) "we can't see you at the moment, could you just pop back later?" No I bloody can't. There is no "popping" when you have small baby.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 12/07/2016 10:51

YANBU

So many people think that their baby/ child was easy because of their exemplary parenting, when in fact (as you and everyone who has had children who are very different from one another knows) it is more down to luck and genetics, especially with a baby under 12 months.

Nature v nurture has been the debate since forever, and everyone with a grain of sense knows it's a mix of both, but some people like to give themselves all the credit without understanding that different babies have different nature's.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 12/07/2016 10:52

I agree about "pop" :o

AliceInHinterland · 12/07/2016 10:56

Well mine isn't happy just being held, I have to walk, or bounce, or sing, or make faces so there. In fact even then she is slightly annoyed that she is a baby who has to rely on these idiot adults.
I think people have this weird idea that they have more influence on their baby's behaviour than they do. Though both of mine have been the same, I was hoping for a really easy second to prove the doubters wrong Hmm
I bought a swing for my 7 week old. First time in it she fell asleep! Subsequent times... Not so much. Same with the sleepyhead, etc. etc.

Original poster
NoCapes · 12/07/2016 11:00

I find 'pop' quite passive aggressive - as soon as someone uses that word I'm on the defensive straight away

So glad I'm not alone in this, these smug bastards with perfect children and houses and their perfect parenting are everywhere it seems

The nature vs nurture is an interesting one, I was only saying the other day that both my boys have been clingy, needy and high maintenance and yet DD was totally chilled and fiercely independent right from the start. We were pondering whether sex plays a role in the nature of babies, or pure old pot luck

OP posts:
DextersMistress · 12/07/2016 11:01

I love sleep when the baby sleeps. Should I also shower when the baby showers? Cook and clean when baby does?

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 12/07/2016 11:02

So many people think that their baby/ child was easy because of their exemplary parenting,

And they can be horribly smug and condescending with that belief too.

justpeachy74 · 12/07/2016 11:03

YANBU! If I had a £ for every time someone said that to me. Maybe with a different child it would've been great advice but it definitely wouldn't work work with DD2.

Original poster
NoCapes · 12/07/2016 11:03

Alice we had one of those vair expensive 4moms rockaroo things - I think he went in it about 6 times and we sold it
Cot? - Snake pit
Car seat? - planking apparatus (why why why do they plank?!!)
Jumperoo? - the arms of Satan himself!

He just likes my hip and he's happy with his decision tbh!

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 12/07/2016 11:05

I had 4 easy babies, couldn't understand the fuss people made about newborns, so easy!

Then my 5th was born Grin and fuck me she was a complete nightmare. She slept for 15 mins at a time if I was lucky, she would not be put down, the times I had absolutely no choice to leave her to cry for a bit she screamed blue murder until she threw up so just putting her down was not an option.

She cried in her pram, she cried in her sling, she just cried and cried. I cried and cried.

The memories of it brings me out in hives. Until I had her though I never appreciated how bloody hard work babies can be.

SatsukiKusakabe · 12/07/2016 11:11

I love this OP

Someone once said to me "pop the baby in a sling and get the toddler to help you with the housework, easy"

Yes, toddlers will happily wave a duster about for 30 secs, and worry the sink with a baby wipe, hand me pegs very. slowly, but they have their limits and that's not all that needs doing! And trying to do anything accompanied by screaming is not worth it.

Sometimes all you can do is look after the children - and it can be a full time job in itself.

StrawberryQuik · 12/07/2016 11:12

DS is quite an easy baby but I'm soo gutted he hates his sling. Going to the tiny aisled corner shop with a pram is so tricky I get the bus all the way to the big supermarket instead...such a little thing but very annoying!