To absolutely hate when people say ...

[NoCapes]

"Just pop baby in the cot/pram/bouncer/jumperoo and clean the house/get dressed/cook dinner/shear a sheep"

If it was that easy to just pop him anywhere I wouldn't have a filthy house, hair stuck to my head and DC eating beans on toast for dinner would I?!
So why don't you just pop the fuck off yeah?

Pop was my most annoying word too.
Pop the dummy in. Ha ha ha. No. She won't take it.
Pop her in the cot. No. She screams.
It's so smug. Pop. Like it's so easy. People who use it MUST know they're being annoying and condescending.

No idea what these 'pop' afficionados think they are doing. My baby will amuse herself for 30 mins of so, naps well etc but why the hell would I assume more frazzled mums with fractious babies hadn't even thought of this and suggest they 'pop' baby down.

I could hardly even manage to feed myself when DD was newborn unless it was something I could prepare and pick up with only one hand. She had reflux and threw up if she was laid flat. She also screamed if left alone in her rocker. I remember my mum telling me to buy myself some nice, "easy" foods like "yogurts and some nice cheese to put on bread".

I had to bite my lip not to scream "You need two fucking hands to remove the lid from a yogurt and eat it with a spoon! And how the hell am I going to make a sandwich when I'm holding or carrying the baby at the same time???"

Slings are so useful with newborns . It only takes ten minutes to put the baby in (screaming, because she hates it), and then you still have to hold her head. So all that effort enables you to use one hand. But only while standing or walking, as you can't sit down with the sling on , at least not the one I have. When you've walked to the kitchen to clumsily grab whatever food-item you can with your free hand, you then have to take the sling off and upset the baby again...

NoCapes I don't think gender is intrinsically linked to how demanding babies are - I have a girl and two boys too and the girl wouldn'tbe put down til she could sit (but she met early milestones early so was sitting securely and commando crawling a bit before 6 months) - after that she was easy. DS1 was the most chilled child ever until he was 3, slept brilliantly, napped through anything, amused himself as longas he had a good walk every day (the old boys are like puppies ccliché) - but then became very anxious from age 3-6. Fine now at 9 but has problems sitting still if he hasn't done hours of sport and has to do a lot of physical activity on a daily basis to be his old lovely chilled self.

DS2 is a force of nature who never slept for more than a 2 hour stretch for 2.5 years, still doesn'tsleep tthrough at 5, was a high maintenance baby, learnt to climb as soon as he could crawl and could not be left alone for a second because he'd be on top of a book case or on a window sill, climbed over stair gates, even climbed door frames all before he could walk, and was sent to show me I knew nothing :o He's Iincredibly sweet but he's aged me 20 years Iin the 5 he's been on the planet :o

Wrap slings do work for some babiesand you ddon't have to hold the head in a wrap - they are worth trying and I used to be evangelical about them as DC2 basically lived in one for his first 6 months. They aren't ideal for housework but the reason I loved mine was that it gave me 2 hands free for my 2 year old.

DC3 hated them of course :o

Yep agree, some people are empathy-free fuckwits.

Yep agree, some people are empathy-free fuckwits.

Ha. A friends DD at 3 DID like to help with the cleaning. And at 8 she started doing the bloody ironing. Her choice and she does it well. Mine are teens and still won't do anything. Where did I go wrong??? I blame their father....

I almost killed an entire set of in laws for repeatedly telling me - an infamous insomniac from birth with tinnitus no less - to 'sleep when the baby sleeps'. Also knowing that the baby never really slept anyway.

Mil agreeing with me oh yes it's so hard isn't it, it's the hardest thing in the world looking after babies. Yet on another occasion she admitted that both hers were good sleepers....oh and she used to put whisky in their bottles every night at bedtime. Yeah I think that might have had something to do with it I'll bet my life she was a popper too.

Jumperoo saved my life. Sometimes in front of Ni Hao Kai Lan or Peppa. After I said no/limited tv before age 3! Haha! It was the only time I felt sane and could eat a meal. Never lasted long though. Dd was very screamy shouty baby. All day long just screamed and shouted. I thought I was going to go crazy. Nothing made her happy or kept her quiet long.

Sil is pregnant now and already acting smug about how she's going to do things, such as breastfeeding (she knows I had to switch to formula, and I was very depressed about it) All I can say is she's in for a shock because things are never how you anticipate them to be!

That is annoying, but nowhere near as annoying as people who don't put the question in the thread title.

DD1 had to be held (including for naps) until she was 1, at which point she mastered walking and could just follow you around.

DD2 is much better at being ignored put down, but loathes the sling - so if she is in an anti-bouncer mood, I just have to carry her. I have never been able to just pop anywhere.

Ds1 was a high maintenance baby. I wondered how everyone was doing anything else. Was so pleased with myself if I had managed to cook a proper meal that day. Ds2 sleeps! He sleeps for 3-4hrs at a time! Good God it's so easy! So why were those other mothers whose children slept through from 12weeks old complaining to me how tired they were? Still get the rage!

I find hoovering drowns out the crying.

Some people (SIL and MIL I'm looking at you!) refuse to believe that ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT (sorry to shout!).

Yes some are happy in a bouncer or left to their own devices, others want and need to be held otherwise they scream the place down. It's not usually the parents fault for "spoiling them" or "indulging them" or any of he other stupid phrases I've heard thrown about.

The only thing I can say is the old Mumsnet mantra of "this will pass". In my case it took months but DD is now an independent little toddler who will happily play on her own while I wash - or will come in the bathroom and talk to me! Either way ignore the helpful advice and do whatever gets you through the day!

My mum is a habitual 'pop' offender.
Just pop your sofa cushion covers in the wash, pop a sunhat on the child ( he throws it off every time) could you pop over to my house (30 min drive) and pop to Tescos on the way, be a dear and pop some more milk in my tea..and so on.

Also, 'bless you'. My HV used to do this all the sodding time. She'd come by and I'd have just finished my only five minutes of independence in the whole day doing the dishes and it was all 'Aw BLESS YOU, getting a bit of housework in? BLESS YOU.'

No, lady. Not BLESS YOU. More like FUCK OFF.

I started a thread on here once when DD was about 6/8 weeks old as I couldn't put her down at all without her screamingscreamingSCREAMING and I actually got flamed for putting her down for approx 3-4 minutes to have a shower in the morning or to boil the kettle for a drink.

I got told to give up hot drinks (as had no support so no one else could come around to hold baby) and....... advised to get a net sling to take baby into shower with me Yes, really.

Personally I decided she could scream for 3 minutes whilst I had a shower once a day and it wouldn't kill anyone. So far, she has survived. Although she now loves the peg basket and Slinky Malinki more than me, so maybe I did irreparably damage our relationship............

get a net sling to take baby in the shower with you WTF

Aaaaah. Whenever I hear the word 'pop' I subconsciously hear 'punch me on the nose' because that's exactly what I get the urge to do. So far I have resisted.... Used primarily by arses who think you are clearly making this childcare thing harder than it really is as well as other arses who are about to ask you to do something that will be a total pain in the arse. Eg. 'Pop baby in the buggy and take him to the dentists with you', 'Will you just pop to the shop with me to choose some shoes

To the couple of people who have suggested I put him in his bomber in the bathroom or let him cry in his cot for 10 minutes -
Let me tell you a little bit about DS2 - aka the tornado!
He was sitting up at 3 months
He could climb out of his chair at 3&1/2 months
He could crawl at 4 months
Pulling up on furniture at 5 months
Now at 8 months he can climb the stairs, climb out of his cot, climb out of the bath and uses the draws in the kitchen as ladders to climb onto the kitchen worktops

So please tell me again how because you could leave your baby for 10 minutes that I can leave mine too

In his bouncer* not bomber

He reminds me of my youngest son. I left him in his bouncy chair only to come back in the room to find him crawling around with the chair still attached to him like a turtle shell.

Such an interesting thread ! My children are adults now and there weren't even slings about when they were babies. I don't remember ever doing housework, tidying maybe but not cleaning. As for sleep, I don't think I had a decent night's sleep for about 10 years. If it wasn't crying babies it was older children being sick, or having diarrhoea, or some childhood disease.
I hardly dare say this, but as an aside, I read an article recently about overuse of the gadgets where you sit or lie the baby to let it rock or swing. Can slow down the baby's motor development, muscles etc. You can't win!

Oooo chunkymum the book recommenders - I haven't got time to wipe my arse like I've got time to fucking read!!

@
previous poster - proves the point - your baby was determined to follow nature and kick the chair into touch

I hear you, OP.

DS2 was the most fucking high maintenance, pain in the arse baby you could possibly think of. It actually drove me into the pit that is PND. I hated every waking minute.

The poster at the start of the thread who mentioned doing 55mph on an A road: that was my life, basically. I was the one frantically rocking my screaming baby to sleep in my arms in the cafe with everyone staring whilst my friends say eating their cake with their perfect babies cooing away on their laps.

Having a clingy / difficult baby is shit.

(I will add he is about a billion times better and easier now he's a bit older. I really hope this shitty, SHITTY phase passes very quickly for you)