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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To absolutely hate when people say ...

105 replies

NoCapes · 12/07/2016 10:39

"Just pop baby in the cot/pram/bouncer/jumperoo and clean the house/get dressed/cook dinner/shear a sheep"

If it was that easy to just pop him anywhere I wouldn't have a filthy house, hair stuck to my head and DC eating beans on toast for dinner would I?!
So why don't you just pop the fuck off yeah?

OP posts:

toolonglurking · 12/07/2016 11:12

My god I needed this thread today. Just had MIL on the phone asking me if I'm getting a full nights sleep every night 'yet'.
The answer would be a massive NO! I've got a three month old breastfed DS who has just discovered screaming, I haven't slept for days.

Sleep when the baby sleeps - my arse!!

Original poster

NoCapes · 12/07/2016 11:13

Get the toddler to help with housework
Ahahaahahahahahahhaaahhhhaahahhaaa!!!!!! Ha!

Had this person ever met a toddler?!!
Oh how we laugh!!

OP posts:

Jacksterbear · 12/07/2016 11:19

Still snorting at "jumperoo - the arms of Satan".

for you OP, and for all the smug bastards.

KayTee87 · 12/07/2016 11:24

Oo my 20 month old nephew does love to try and Hoover - he's more likely to hit himself on the head with the pole than actually Hoover anything but he tries I suppose .... I gave him a pink feather duster once too and he ran around with it screaming which was really affective cleaning haha.

SoleBizzz · 12/07/2016 11:26

Yabu NoCapes

AbernathysFringe · 12/07/2016 11:28

My showers for the last year have been to the ear splitting screams of the baby...right next to me....in the buggy/bouncer/travel cot in the bathroom. Pop off indeed.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/07/2016 11:28

My "favourite" was "oo he'll sleep well tonight".
No he fucking won't. Neither of my children did if they'd had a strenuous day - they'd either be so over-tired that it was a nightmare getting them to sleep in the first place, or they'd be like frigging dynamos - the more wound up they got, the longer they went for. Duracell bunnies had nothing on them!

But yes.
DS1 was a half-an-hour-max-twice-a-day-if-I'm-lucky napper - yet I'd still get DH saying "but babies sleep all day, don't they?" No. No they fucking don't. Well some might, but mine doesn't. So no, I haven't done much because I can't do it while he's screaming, sorry.

Jeez.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 12/07/2016 11:31

Yes!! Fellow 'pop' haters. I loathe this word with a passion. As soon as I see it on a thread, my hackles are raised. Pop off to the far side of pop you popping pop head!

I'm getting annoyed reading my own comment now .

Who the hell wants a toddler to help them! I'd do anything to keep them distracted and away from me when I want to get stuff done, help from them! No thank you.

EveOnline2016 · 12/07/2016 11:32

The sleep regression reason gives me rage.

Oh it's the only the 2 month sleep regression or the 3 month and so on

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 12/07/2016 11:34

Well I kind of get you.

But.....you can let a baby cry for ten minutes while you have a shower. It won't kill them. It won't kill you.

I mean my babies were relatively chilled but I did have twins, so I had to prioritise. Sometimes the priority was washing the stink off myself!

Of course, trying to get anything done with a toddler - let alone two toddlers - in tow is nigh on impossible. There's a reason I kept sending them to nursery when I was on maternity leave with DS3.

Flisspaps · 12/07/2016 11:35

These fuckety fuckers who suggest 'popping the baby/toddler in a pram to sleep at a party/on holiday/when out and about so you can stay up and enjoy yourself' - my DC did not get that memo.

Any and every attempt to do that ended up with a screaming, exhausted, red faced, sweaty child and me/DH in a corner or outside the party rocking the buggy for approx 2 hours until eventually the DC fell asleep and we were so fucking stressed that we wanted to leave said event anyway. 6.30pm was their absolute cut off until they were around 3.5yo, and they're by much better now (aged 4 and 6)

FUCK OFF TO THE FAR SIDE OF FUCK SND TAKE THE FUCKING BUGGY WITH YOU

Far, far easier to leave early, get the DC to bed at their usual time and be relaxed social pariahs.

UptownFunk00 · 12/07/2016 11:38

I'm with you.

Have 3 year old and 5 month old.

No it's not that easy - DD2 does not like being put down unless you are playing with her.

VioletBam · 12/07/2016 11:40

YANBU! And the old "Get a sling!"

My poor back wouldn't stand for my huge babies stuck to my front and when I did try, I couldn't reach the sink anyway!

spankhurst · 12/07/2016 11:40

I went back to work ft when ds was 5 months. He soon figured out that if he woke up at 3 am every night and refused to go back to sleep, he got more (comatose) mummy time. So for many months I was getting up at 3 and working a 6 day week. My mum once tutted at my exhaustion and said that I needed some 'fresh air'.
( she was fantastically supportive most of the time, but that one bloody comment has stayed with me!).

toomuchtooold · 12/07/2016 11:40

I had one really easy baby (DD1) who was content to be popped in a baby carrier, the pram, even our shit £7 bouncy chairs that didn't bounce. Her twin sister was angry for like the first 18 months of her life so not a lot of housework got done. And there were so many times that I had to put DD1 into said bouncer/pram/carrier while I tried to calm down her sister that her second word was "sorry". I think she thought it meant hello! I said it to her at least 10 times a day.
They both really liked the Jumperoo though - once they were about 2, and too old for it, they'd go and try and climb into it at the Children's Centre and I'd get told off.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/07/2016 11:42

Helping with the housework:

ZansForCans · 12/07/2016 11:42

Pop off to the far side of pop you popping pop head!

I say "pop" though I know I say it too much. It often does come with an edge of frazzled irony - "I'm just POPPING to the fecking post office again"/"Hmm I'd better POP this in the wash as you have drenched it in sloppy weetabix" - but that might not always be noticeable to pop-haters.

UptownFunk00 · 12/07/2016 11:46

'I bet she's sleeping really well now'

Is she hell!

5 months old and woke every hour last night and with a 3 year old at home I could cry with tiredness.

Plod on, plod on...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/07/2016 11:46

I couldn't let mine cry, not really - not in the very early days. They both had hernias which were at risk of strangulation, so I really didn't want to take that risk until they were fixed. And then they both had breath "holding" issues - they didn't hold their breath deliberately, they just used to cry all their air out and then be unable to take a breath in.

Special, mine.

KitKats28 · 12/07/2016 11:49

Flisspaps I think you mean "fuck off to the far side of fuck and take the BABY with you" 😉

I'd have given my first to a friendly axe murderer for five minutes peace from the bloody all day whining. Like a PP, he didn't want to just be held, he wanted to be entertained. From birth! He thought sitting quietly for 30 seconds was an insult to his intelligence or something. At least he slept at night. I'm glad I didn't have my second child first, as I would have been insufferably smug.

It's funny, when we are at home with babies/toddlers, there is this expectation that we do "other stuff", and yet if we work outside the home we pay someone else vast amounts to "only" look after them.

OkLumberjack · 12/07/2016 11:51

Mine are 11 and 9 now but I remember this period well and the 'advice' that used to make me want to eat my own head in frustration.

My first baby wanted to be held all.the.time. As did my second. I ended up buying something called a 'hippy chick' seat that was basically a shaped shelf that was strapped around my waist that my babies/toddlers bum rested on that took a lot of the weight away. It seems to have gone out of fashion now but it was massive godsend for me.

The worst for me was "can't you just get someone to sit with your baby for an hour?"

Er no. Dh at work until 7.30pm. Both grandparents live over 3 hours away. Neighbours at work, newly made mum-friend grappling with their own shit.

No.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 12/07/2016 12:03

zans as a pop hater I would definitely notice you saying about popping to the post office or popping something in the wash. I can feel the hives starting already.

I've been on a handful of threads in the last 10 minutes. 3 of them had "why don't you pop by/pop this etc"! It's like an invasion and now I've noticed more, it's going to be everywhere. Arrggghhhh. It could be worse though. People still aren't hunning or saying my lovely.

InSohoWhereTheBoysGo · 12/07/2016 12:13

I agree about the 'sleep when baby sleeps' and 'pop them in a sling/bouncer to do housework' comments being utterly stupid.

But, there's no harm in putting the bouncer in the bathroom and letting them scream for ten minutes while you have a very essential shower.

I used to do this with DD and yes, while they weren't the most relaxing showers, she was absolutely fine. Two and a half now with no obvious psychological after effects.

I've never understood new mums who said they hadn't showered in five days or whatever. Let them scream while you get clean and then have a big cuddle afterwards.

Original poster

NoCapes · 12/07/2016 12:14

My turn to be smug for a minute - I've just dropped the baby at my mums and 'popped' to the hairdressers for a cut & blow dry and a hot cup of tea and a biscuit

OP posts:

Comiconce · 12/07/2016 12:15

"It's funny, when we are at home with babies/toddlers, there is this expectation that we do "other stuff", and yet if we work outside the home we pay someone else vast amounts to "only" look after them."

This.

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