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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my DH to go to A&E?

251 replies

Brokenbiscuit · 11/07/2016 23:39

DH has had weird nervy pains in one side of his head for the last 3-4 days. Today, the pain was quite severe so he decided to go to the local walk-in centre this evening.

They saw him and advised him to go to A&E in our nearest city (around 15 miles from home). The triage report that the nurse gave him to give to A&E said "urgent" and mentioned red flags. It also said "seriously ill but stable".

DH does not drive and the nurse told him he shouldn't in any case. I can't take him to A&E because dd is in bed and we don't have anyone who could babysit tonight. DH would either have to take a taxi or ask a friend.

He doesn't want to go, "because it's late" and he says he'll go tomorrow. He probably doesn't want to put anyone out this late, and he would hate "wasting" money on a taxi. He is also telling me that the pain is better, but not sure if I believe him.

AIBU to think he should take a taxi and go tonight, as advised by the nurse? Or is it reasonable for him to decide that he feels well enough to wait until the morning? He tells me that he knows his own body and he is ok, but then, what were those "red flags" all about?

I can't force him to go, can I? Sad

OP posts:
PotOfYoghurt · 12/07/2016 23:36

That's one of the problems why TN is often misdiagnosed or ignored. It can present very differently in different people- there are two main types and within those types people have experienced a range of frequency of 'attacks', severity, location and triggers.

Up until recently it was such an unknown disease (and often still is) that there hasn't been enough research or studies to really understand what the average experiences/symptoms are.

PotOfYoghurt · 12/07/2016 23:39

Bastard- it can be horrific. Truly, truly awful. I remember quite clearly the first time it happened, I was certain I had been stabbed with a knife or something similar. When I managed to get to the bathroom to look in the mirror I was confused, and frightened, to see nothing. No blood, no mark. How I could be in such horrific pain and look completely fine was astonishing.

But it can be well controlled with medication, like anticonvulsants. It can often take time to find the right meds, and there's a range of different surgeries or procedures available as well.

ConfuciousSayWhat · 12/07/2016 23:40

It's horrible. It's basically sciatica in the face.

OfficiallyUnofficial · 12/07/2016 23:42

I was thinking Neuralgia too pot friend had this coming and going for ages and one night called his DW who was miles away unable to speak properly or move from where he lay, the company paramedics she called had to put the door in I get to him.

It can be really bad, he now seems totally clear though. Very odd condition.

Good luck biscuit hope you get a resolution soon x

TheFear · 12/07/2016 23:42

What yogurt said, I had multiple tests and ended up with an MRI which revealed massively inflamed sinuses that were causing the neuralgia.
Antibiotics made no difference for at least 10 days, in the meantime the anticonvulsants did the trick very quickly (probably 24-36 hours).
Anyone who suffers in this way on an ongoing basis has my complete sympathy, I didn't sleep for days and thought I was going insane..

OfficiallyUnofficial · 12/07/2016 23:43

Not sure where the random "company" came from!

Brokenbiscuit · 12/07/2016 23:50

Interesting- had a look at the link and it could be something like that. He didn't mention any specific conditions earlier and he is thankfully asleep now so can't ask, but in any case, he tends to be quite vague in his recollections of what the doctor actually said, especially if they're words that he doesn't understand.Hmm

Thanks for all the support.

OP posts:
Brokenbiscuit · 12/07/2016 23:51

Meant to say, he has had sinus problems in the past, though not in recent years, so that wouldn't be surprising...

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AbyssinianBanana · 12/07/2016 23:51

If your DH has problems verbalising the pain, that website the PP linked to has an excellent section on what else it might be... And describes the different types of pains. It may help him better articulate the pain to his doctor

www.tna.org.uk/pages/it_might_not_be_tn_.html

Brokenbiscuit · 12/07/2016 23:53

Thanks Abyssinian, I'll get DH to have a look.

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PhilPhilConnors · 13/07/2016 00:04

Are the pupils in his eyes the same size? Probably been checked, but it's worth looking (DH's Dr missed this over several appointments!)
Dh had something called Horner's syndrome, which gave him bad nervy like headaches above his right eye.
If one of his pupils is much smaller it's as well to make sure the Drs know about it, Horner's is quite rare.
It has a few causes (Dh had a carotid artery dissection which then caused a stroke) which need an MRI to check the blood vessels of the head and neck.

Fontella · 13/07/2016 00:06

Broken, forgive me if this reply is hugely inappropriate and I'm miles wild of the mark, but something about your husband's 'nervy pain' and the location in the 'front and side of his head' reminds me of something I had about 16 years ago.

I too had an agonising intense pain in exactly the area you describe - front/side of head and yes, it felt 'nervy'. I initially thought I had shingles (it wasn't) but when the awful pain persisted and I was terrified it was something much more serious.

Over the counter pain killers didn't touch it and it was starting to rule and ruin my life. Even to take a step sometimes would cause this shooting pain in my temple. But what rings a bell with me most in what you've written is about opening mouth/moving jaw - as that for me sometimes was unbearable - even thinking about it now makes me go weak at the knees at the memory of the breath-taking agony of it.

Then, on yet another visit to the Doctor's surgery, my regular GP wasn't available and I saw one of the junior doctors, who suggested it might be musculoskeletal, and referred me to the orthopedic department of my local hospital.

I thought this was completely nuts, but I was in so much pain and so desperate I would have tried anything and went for the first appointment. Having described the symptoms to a young female consultant she looked at my head placement, neck, shoulders etc. and said immediately 'yes I can see what the problem is'. She did a bit of manipulation - not quite the chiropractic 'crack' that you see on the youtube videos but she definitely poked and prodded around at the base of my skull/neck and upper spine. The prodding wasn't particularly enjoyable, but not agonising either. Just sore and uncomfortable, and I thought a waste of time, as the pain was in my head and it certainly didn't feel like it had anything to do with my neck.

She told me I'd need a course of physiotherapy treatment (no painkillers were prescribed) and set a date for the next appointment.

Only more or less immediately after that first visit, I noticed that the pain had gone. Completely. With each day after that I remained pain free and in the end telephoned the hospital and cancelled future appointments, because whatever she had done, had to all intents and purposes 'cured' it.

To this day I don't know what caused the problem. I don't know what she did on that first visit other than a bit of poking, prodding and manipulation. But I do know I've never had that 'nervy' intense, agonising headache since.

I realise what happened to me may have no relevance at all with your OP, but what I'm saying is maybe to look at all the options and try not to fear the worst. Pain can be caused for all sorts of reasons, and not all of them are scary. I'm not trying to minimise what is happening with your H - just sharing my story.

Brokenbiscuit · 13/07/2016 00:10

Thanks Fontella, not inappropriate at all - quite comforting to think that it could be something quite easily fixed.

Phil, he's asleep now so can't check, but haven't noticed anything different about his pupils.

Will get him to read this thread tomorrow.

OP posts:
Draylon · 13/07/2016 00:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Renotry · 13/07/2016 00:14

If my partner was described as being seriously ill and needing urgent care I don't think I'd care about a child being woken up, they'd be in the car & I would be driving. Your kid's sleep for one night is not more important than your husband needing to go to A&E.

PotOfYoghurt · 13/07/2016 00:15

I hope your DH's pain eases off soon and you find out what's caused it. All the heels to to you both Flowers

Draylon · 13/07/2016 00:16

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pnutter · 13/07/2016 00:30

I'm glad you updated Biscuits and hope you are both ok

BengalCatMum · 13/07/2016 00:31

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Brokenbiscuit · 13/07/2016 00:42

I think it was a nurse that he saw, Draylon. DH was very much of the view that he had been referred for "arse-covering" purposes above all. I'm not sure, but I think you're right - we need a better layer between the GP and emergency care. I'm not convinced that the walk-in centres provide that.

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Draylon · 13/07/2016 00:47

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kormachameleon · 13/07/2016 00:56

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NoahVale · 13/07/2016 06:39

At least he was seen, and bloods taken and other tests done. If I were you I would write down his symptoms, as you/he might forget them. It may help.

NoahVale · 13/07/2016 06:41

Have you looked up Temporal Arteritis? does that sound like it? Diagnosis is shown in the blood test

NoahVale · 13/07/2016 06:43

For temporal arteritis it is the jaw and sore scalp that is the key, as well as the blood test.

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