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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my DH to go to A&E?

251 replies

Brokenbiscuit · 11/07/2016 23:39

DH has had weird nervy pains in one side of his head for the last 3-4 days. Today, the pain was quite severe so he decided to go to the local walk-in centre this evening.

They saw him and advised him to go to A&E in our nearest city (around 15 miles from home). The triage report that the nurse gave him to give to A&E said "urgent" and mentioned red flags. It also said "seriously ill but stable".

DH does not drive and the nurse told him he shouldn't in any case. I can't take him to A&E because dd is in bed and we don't have anyone who could babysit tonight. DH would either have to take a taxi or ask a friend.

He doesn't want to go, "because it's late" and he says he'll go tomorrow. He probably doesn't want to put anyone out this late, and he would hate "wasting" money on a taxi. He is also telling me that the pain is better, but not sure if I believe him.

AIBU to think he should take a taxi and go tonight, as advised by the nurse? Or is it reasonable for him to decide that he feels well enough to wait until the morning? He tells me that he knows his own body and he is ok, but then, what were those "red flags" all about?

I can't force him to go, can I? Sad

OP posts:
bakeoffcake · 13/07/2016 20:30

I hope he is ok now.

My dH is very similar. He had all the symptoms of a heart attack: sweating, chest pain, feeling sick and he refused to go to hospital and kept telling me to leave him alone and not make such a fussHmm

I had to give him an ultimatum, I either phoned 999 or he got in the car. (we live rurally, and it's quicker to drive to the hospital than wait for an ambulance).
Afterwards he realised how stupid he'd been, he apologised and said he was terrified and in denial and thought that if he just went to sleep it would go away!

ilovesprouts · 13/07/2016 20:48

Hope he's ok

minmooch · 13/07/2016 22:19

How's your DH doing Broken?

Marmalady75 · 13/07/2016 22:56

The overwhelming opinion on here is to get him to A&E. Let us know how you get on.

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 13/07/2016 23:16

Ffs get him to hospital now and pop at the bank on the way to stop the cheque!!!!! Wink

madgingermunchkin · 13/07/2016 23:20

FFS RTFT HE'S BEEN TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL

aLeafFalls · 13/07/2016 23:21

Just what I was thinking giraffe Grin

itsalldyingout · 13/07/2016 23:34

Noahvale has mentioned giant cell arteritis (temporal arteritis).

My mother has this and became very ill after months of random pain. She became malnourished as it became too painful to eat so she just stopped eating anything other than soft foods.

A blood test will show inflammation - providing they do the right one. My mother used to have monthly ESR blood tests to keep an eye on the inflammation.

It definitely needs treating as it can lead to strokes and blindness.

I hope you both chase this up and that he feels better soon. DON'T let it drop.

WeAreTheOthers · 14/07/2016 00:28

Glad it's not serious Broken, I hope he gets well soon.

seventhgonickname · 14/07/2016 01:35

Sounds like trigeminal neuralgia to me.The pain never moves to the other side of the face,comes and goes and varies from tingling to intense pain so that you have to keep still even though that doesn't help.I couldn't describe it when I had it .My Go treated me for cluster headaches,my dentist checked me out but I wasn't diagnosed until I had(another) a bad attack at work and an ENT doctor asked 2 questions to diagnose it.Your husband needs a hospital referral and then the right treatment with drugs ,it may disappear of it's own accord ,mine did but because I was seen I can now get direct access if it reoccurs.All my sympathy for your husband

elfies · 14/07/2016 05:27

Hope He's feeling better this morning and the tests reveal whats wrong

99percentchocolate · 14/07/2016 05:45

Glad he's been and fingers crossed these last results come back clear too.
It's frustrating when someone you love won't pay attention to their health. A few months ago my mum banged her head and a couple of days later went a bit funny, I was adamant that she should go to a&e but she refused. I called her every hour and shouted at her until she saw the GP. She'd had a small stroke. Thankfully she was ok

Dragonfly8 · 14/07/2016 07:23

Update? Did you go? I really hope so.

Dragonfly8 · 14/07/2016 07:40

Oh I see we...sorry, something wrong with (probably me) the refresh on the thread...

cherrybath · 14/07/2016 08:11

Send him to A&E immediately, at least he will see someone who is considering that it might be something serious.
My DH has been off colour for a couple of months and I eventually managed to force him to the GP - who prescribed an over the counter nose spray. No improvement so I sent him again, this time he had a week's antibiotics, again no improvement over the week. Finally saw a decent (locom) doctor who said he'd call an ambulance... Turned out he has problems with arteries going into his heart.

If I'd taken him to A&E a month ago we'd be a month into his treatment and recovery by now.

Susiiejane · 14/07/2016 09:51

Use your GP

Benedikte2 · 14/07/2016 17:22

NoahVale I have GCA or temporal arteritis. It's very difficult to diagnose. A blood test (height anti inflammatory factors) can be an indication but that's all. To be sure they need a temporal artery biopsy however because of the risk of stroke, blindness etc they bung you straight onto steroids and by the time they get around to the biopsy it is rarely positive.
The jaw thing Biscuit is it when he chews a feeling of weakness and pain is an indicator of temporal arteritis. The head pain isn't like a normal headache but is sort of under the skin and on the outside of the skull.

Benedikte2 · 14/07/2016 17:28

There is also TMJ or temporal mandible joint pain which can be very severe pain on the side of the head. This is caused by tension/stress when one is under pressure one tends to clench one's jaw and after a while the pain hits and can come and go. Best remedy is to consciously relax and to be aware of jaw tension.

Galdos · 14/07/2016 22:37

Go to A&E asap. I was knocked off my bike a few years ago (by another cyclist) and because I was on Warfarin etc it was suggested I go to A&E. I did: it was all AOK, but I had to stay in overnight for obs. Tiresome, and in the event no problems. BUT, had there been any, I was in the right place. Go.

BigApple11 · 14/07/2016 23:14

Why don't people read from the beginning??? HmmConfusedBiscuit

itsalldyingout · 16/07/2016 16:35

Benedikte2 (and OP's DH if he has this) Flowers

My mum said the pain was not nice. And the steroid side-effects even worse.

TMJ is definitely another possibility, as is shingles. My OH gets cold sores around his eyes which regularly kick off shingles over the same side of his head. I'm a bit of a harpy getting him sorted with the doctor as my nan lost her sight with the same thing when I was little.

Wish OP would let us know - and that hopefully, all's well.

Draylon · 16/07/2016 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByABear · 16/07/2016 21:38

I don't have pages. Sooooo last century

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByABear · 16/07/2016 21:45

No idea. I'm all on one page. Try site stuff. Or report your own post and ask for help.