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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my DH to go to A&E?

251 replies

Brokenbiscuit · 11/07/2016 23:39

DH has had weird nervy pains in one side of his head for the last 3-4 days. Today, the pain was quite severe so he decided to go to the local walk-in centre this evening.

They saw him and advised him to go to A&E in our nearest city (around 15 miles from home). The triage report that the nurse gave him to give to A&E said "urgent" and mentioned red flags. It also said "seriously ill but stable".

DH does not drive and the nurse told him he shouldn't in any case. I can't take him to A&E because dd is in bed and we don't have anyone who could babysit tonight. DH would either have to take a taxi or ask a friend.

He doesn't want to go, "because it's late" and he says he'll go tomorrow. He probably doesn't want to put anyone out this late, and he would hate "wasting" money on a taxi. He is also telling me that the pain is better, but not sure if I believe him.

AIBU to think he should take a taxi and go tonight, as advised by the nurse? Or is it reasonable for him to decide that he feels well enough to wait until the morning? He tells me that he knows his own body and he is ok, but then, what were those "red flags" all about?

I can't force him to go, can I? Sad

OP posts:
DrLockhart · 12/07/2016 03:52

Hope he's ok Biscuits

BeadyEyedPeas · 12/07/2016 05:24

I hope he's alright biscuits. You did exactly the right thing.

Kirriemuir · 12/07/2016 06:20

Hope all is ok

BastardGoDarkly · 12/07/2016 06:24

Oh Biscuits he really shouldn't be having a go at you, really not fun for you either is it?

Brew

Hope he's home now and all's well.

Chimchar · 12/07/2016 06:34

Really glad you got him to go Biscuits.
Hope he's home soon, with noting too awful wrong.

Liwwybettykins · 12/07/2016 06:45

Red flag symptoms are things that medical professionals look for that COULD indicate something serious, that by no means makes it certain that you have something serious but it does mean that you should see a doctor.mred flag symptoms with headache would be headaches that worsened when you bent forward, for example, which might indicate that you have increased pressure inside your head. However, it also might mean that you have a sinusitis, so as you can see it's not an exact science. Hope everything is ok this morning x

Ememem84 · 12/07/2016 06:45

Hope he's ok you did the right thing row or not.

40somethingwonderful · 12/07/2016 06:46

Hope all is well.

Dh needed to go to A&E, but didn't want to waste their time, as soon as I said "what would you be saying if I was in that situation". He soon got his arse down there, was admitted and left a week later.

blueskyinmarch · 12/07/2016 06:49

I hope you report back later and tell us everything is fine.

ProfessorPreciseaBug · 12/07/2016 06:57

Biscuit,
By the time you read this things will have sorted themselves.. Was there any rash?

When I read your OP, I thought shingles... (ouchy). My mum has just had the same. Only she is 80 and got consused with the meds and overdosed. Like your DH, she didn't want to go to A&E. I phoned 111 who said an ambulance would be sent... which never turned up so we bundled mum into the car. (she being too weak to resist)., She was admitted in five minutes of arrival.

You did the right thing. If DP complains to you show him this thread.. He might just take the hint... though being a man he will probably huff even more....

Goingtobeawesome · 12/07/2016 07:19

How are things today?

PotOfYoghurt · 12/07/2016 07:22

Hope DH is doing well today.

Esspee · 12/07/2016 07:22

Hope he is OK and back home with you moaning about you "over reacting".
My husband refused to go to the doctor despite me begging him to until it was so serious he had no choice. He died 10 months later. Please show this to your husband if he blames you for loving him enough to care. Good luck.

WibblyWobblyJellyHead · 12/07/2016 07:28

Hope he's ok.

WellErrr · 12/07/2016 07:29

Hope everything's ok today!

CocktailQueen · 12/07/2016 07:42

Well, this all sounds very bizarre. I'm not sure what symptoms he was showing if he ate a normal dinner and seemed fine and said the pain had gone. Seems like a breakdown of communication between the walk-in centre and your dh. They may have advised A&E to cover their backs. Glad he's gone, though, and hope he's OK today. Update when you can!

NoahVale · 12/07/2016 07:44

it sounds worrying.
thankfully you called him a taxi op.
hope he is being looked after well.

Doinmummy · 12/07/2016 07:46

Hope you managed to get some sleep and that he's now home and no frying pans were needed .

Anonymouses · 12/07/2016 07:46

Hope you managed some sleep and he is home and totally fine.

ChooseTheLifeYouLove · 12/07/2016 07:51

Hope he's OK OP. I usually find the NHS do have to send virtually everyone to A and E to cover their backs but you can't rely on this.

kelda · 12/07/2016 07:59

Did they say what the red flags were? Hope he's OK.

diddl · 12/07/2016 08:00

Hope he's OK, OP.

But really things are serious but the walk in centre just let him walk out?

It makes you wonder, doesn't it?

DoubleCarrick · 12/07/2016 08:08

Hope your dh is ok op. Incidentally, I rang 111 for my ex once to be told to call the doctors in the morning. After an hour decided a&e - they took him straight in. Bloods, ct scan, lumbar puncture and a week later they released him. Doctors said if I waited till morning it would have been a very different outcome

londonrach · 12/07/2016 08:39

Hope everything ok biscuit

NavyandWhite · 12/07/2016 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.