To want my DH to go to A&E?

[Brokenbiscuit]

DH has had weird nervy pains in one side of his head for the last 3-4 days. Today, the pain was quite severe so he decided to go to the local walk-in centre this evening.

They saw him and advised him to go to A&E in our nearest city (around 15 miles from home). The triage report that the nurse gave him to give to A&E said "urgent" and mentioned red flags. It also said "seriously ill but stable".

DH does not drive and the nurse told him he shouldn't in any case. I can't take him to A&E because dd is in bed and we don't have anyone who could babysit tonight. DH would either have to take a taxi or ask a friend.

He doesn't want to go, "because it's late" and he says he'll go tomorrow. He probably doesn't want to put anyone out this late, and he would hate "wasting" money on a taxi. He is also telling me that the pain is better, but not sure if I believe him.

AIBU to think he should take a taxi and go tonight, as advised by the nurse? Or is it reasonable for him to decide that he feels well enough to wait until the morning? He tells me that he knows his own body and he is ok, but then, what were those "red flags" all about?

I can't force him to go, can I?

Thank you all for your support and concern. Guessing he'll be gone for a good few hours so I'm going to try to get some sleep if I can. I'll update tomorrow.

He is still furious with me.

Think he is probably scared.

Brokenbiscuits I am glad you persuaded him to go and I'm sorry it caused an argument. The hospital will be able to determine what (if anything) is going on. Have you anyone in RL you can call? I know it's late but it might help to distract you.

What about "seriously ill but stable" did it say, exactly? Seems a slightly odd thing to write!

I can't remember now Great, he has taken the letter with him. It was his triage status or something like that. He was adamant that he wasn't seriously ill, but I'm glad he has gone to get checked out.

Ah, cross-post. I see you're going to try to get some sleep. That's probably the best idea.

Well he can carry on the row when he's been given the all clear !

Show him this thread if it helps. He is lucky he has a partner that cares . He is also a father and so has a responsibility to his child (and you Op) to look after his health.

I bet if he took his car to a garage and they said it needs fixing now or it will blow up, he wouldn't get in it and drive about ! Same with his body IYSWIM.

Actually, think triage status said "urgent, red flags". I thought the "seriously ill but stable" thing was weird too. Wondered if it had been chosen from a drop-down menu of some sort.

The walk-in centre took his temperature, blood pressure, oxygen etc. All normal.

Row or not l think you've done the right thing, try and get some sleep, hopefully he'll be seen and home by the time you get up .

Hope he's ok OP. You did the right thing to send him there

I totally think you did the right thing by the way, just find that an odd thing to give someone and,then let them walk out the door!
Please try and get some rest xx

Well he can carry on the row when he's been given the all clear !

I'll never hear the end of it if they find nothing wrong. But obviously, I'd rather that than the alternative.

I totally think you did the right thing by the way, just find that an odd thing to give someone and,then let them walk out the door!

Yes, me too. I wish the walk-in centre had called an ambulance or something. But DH is a stubborn bastard when he wants to be. Perhaps they tried and he told them not to bother.

If he does carry on the row , tell him you'll twat him round the head with a frying pan and he'll have to go to A & E again

Thanks Doin. I hope it won't come to that...

If he does carry on the row , tell him you'll twat him round the head with a frying pan and he'll have to go to A & E again

Love that idea, Doinmummy!

Good luck, I had to force DFather into hospital with chest pains. Turned out to be nothing but god forbid it had been something! Totally worth the grumpy bollocking

He's a husband and father yet is being an immature selfish idiot. Good luck with that OP.

He can be as 'furious' as he likes. You've quite possibly saved his life. Ungrateful git.

You did the right thing. I'd have called a taxi or ambulance and he'd have been at A&E before he had time to say 'no' a second time. You can't mess with head/brain stuff.

If they send him home & he isn't right, bloody well send him back again. I've lost a relative due to them being sent home twice from A&E with pains in her head after basically being told not to make a fuss over a head ache. (Not trying to scare you at all, her 'pains' were very different to your DH's).

Let us know when you hear from him.

How's DD?

Thank goodness you sent him! My friend listened to her husband who didn't want to bother the hospital...he grew slowly sicker over night and almost died of sepsis.

He is still not fully recovered a year later and lost both feet.

Yes Violet, there are many instances of that type of thing aren't there. We are all so bloody 'Ah it's nothing I'll be ok'. Myself included 🙁

Obviously completely different part of the body but my Dad had chest pains for a good 12h before my mum called 111 (after relaying symptoms to a friend who thought it was a heart attack). They had a rapid response paramedic and ambulance there within 2 minutes and he had a quadruple bypass .
You've done the right thing - not your call to say he's fine. Hope all is ok

Hope hes ok and its nothing. 100%.

Equally, i hope they find evidence of a narrowly avoided disaster with no damage, due to your insistence of him going.

Men are such nightmares 'ive got flu' no you haven't.

'Ive not broken my neck' yes you have. Go to the doctor.