Dh holiday underpacking

[rainbowjoy]

Aibu that Dh on a 10 day sailing flotilla and city break holiday needs to take more than 2 pairs of shorts &
4 t shits. He had packed his minuscule bag with no consideration of the rest of the stuff that needs taking ie small travel beach towels, sun cream, shampoo etc. I know we are sailing and space is at a minimum but he's now arguing with me that I think he needs a bigger bag. He has no smart clothes for evenings out. We are staying on after sailing for 3 nights in city. It's the same every holiday we take. I'm not an over packer, I've 2 dresses, 1 skirt and 3 shorts plus a variety of tops, deck shoes, flip flops and one pair of nicer shoes.

Just sort yourself out and let him have his own bag. It's his choice what to pack/wear.

His choice, just don't pack anything for him, and enough sun cream etc just for you

I think he's a grown up who can sort himself out and suffer the consequences if he's forgotten anything vital.

Leave him to it, his bag, his clothes, his responsibility.

why do you care?! He's an adult don't micro manage his packing for goodness sake!

YANBU - this was the case in our house for a while with DH announcing he was packed when all the communal stuff - sun lotion, adapter plug, toothpaste etc - was still on the side ready to be packed. He now packs a regular size suitcase and once he's packed what he needs he leaves in open for me to fill with communal (and sometimes some of my) stuff. Only child though, and un his mid 40's is still prone to individualistic behaviours when tired/stressed/distracted.

He's an adult, let him pack his own bag ffs

Yup. Know that feeling well once went travelling round Thailand w him looking all neat and tidy with a 30 litre rucksack and me with a 60 litre one with all the communal stuff... No answer he still suggest that maybe could have a 30 litre rucksack like before even though we have 2 small children stuff to carry too.

YANBU
DH is the same. Preparing to go abroad for 2 weeks and he stands in the bedroom, scratches his head and then puts out 3 pairs of pants a pair of shorts, a pair of swimming shorts and 2 t/shirts, sometimes his flip flops, and says 'that'll do'. Every time.

I'm like Are you going to be washing your pants every two days then? 'Cos i'm not.

My DH is rubbish at packing. Last time we went away at Christmas I got stuck late in work and asked him to sort cases - he packed me two pairs of shoes, Ugg boots and my wedding shoes!! Maybe just add a nice pair of trousers and a shirt for him (if you want to go out somewhere nice for dinner) otherwise leave it as others have said.

My ex used to do this, he'd have a tiny bag and the complain about mine being so heavy. Sr., well I've got all the toiletries and towels.
Clothes wise, he's a grown up, if he wants to spend the holiday rotating Two pairs of smelly shorts, that's his business.

Ugg boots and wedding shoes What more could you need?

I pack for both of us,but I am super organised and like to put our stuff in both cases and hand luggage in case a suitcase goes missing. I find it much easier and I get less stressed just sorting it myself.

I love under packing. We forgot all our coats for a week in Whitby one year. I have never seen so much rain.

Just remembered the time I forgot my dress for a wedding. I had to wear a trouser suit lent by a 70 yr old aunt.

I admire underpackers. DH is the opposite, he packs enough clothes for several months when we go away for 10 days. Stacks of running and cycling kit and trainers, t-shirts. Over a dozen paperbacks, refuses to have a kindle. It drives me nuts. But oh no he wouldn't think of towels or sun cream.

My DH does this. He spends about 30 seconds thinking about what to pack and then shoves something vaguely appropriate into a small bag.

Week in Devon? A small daysack.

Weekend away? A supermarket carrier bag with a toothbrush, deodorant and a spare pair of pants.

I no longer let it bother me, and laughed at him when he forgot to bring any spare underwear on a five day holiday in rural Wales. I asked him if he was planning to knit some, using wool from the sheep in the field next to our cottage.

I misjudged the weather for a hotel break in turkey once (took 99% beach wear) and spent the whole week in the one pair of black leggings and the one top that i'd put in 'just i case', and the horrible bright blue fleece i managed to get in a local market.

Washing leggings out in the sink every night; coming down to breakfast every day in the same outfit. Ugh. Never under-packing again.

Let him get on with it, if he has no towel or wash kit it's his tough luck.

Agree with PP- you aren't his mum so stop acting like it.

It's up to him what he packs, just don't pack anything for him - no extra towels, sun cream etc.

He still probably won't give a toss and will have a smashing holiday regardless of your disapproval.

Have fun!!

thing is, it does effect the OP if he's not packed anything suitable to wear to a smart restaurant in the evenings so they can't go to anywhere smart in the evenings on holiday when she has packed in a way that means she has appropriate clothing. It does effect the OP if he expects her to sort out cleaning his clothes on holiday or take up time/space on the boat washing.

OP - talk to him about how often he plans to change his pants on holiday and if he thinks you will magic up clean ones, and say does he think it's fair he's deciding for you both that you won't go out in the evenings because he's refusing to pack anything suitable. I'd hand him half the suncream etc and say he needs to pack it, as you're not sharing yours.

(still annoyed all the wasted holiday days when we've had to go to a shopping mall as DH has failed to pack appropriately, and have made it clear it's not an option now we have DCs as I'm not taking them to a mall on their holiday nor am I entertaining them alone for the day while he goes off and buys all the things he should have bought in England before we left - he's getting better at thinking about what he'll actually need and do on holiday before packing).

happypoobum - except the OP probably won't be a bitch and let him get sunburn by not sharing her suncream, so needs to pack enough for both of them, or expect to waste some of their holiday half way through going to the supermarket to replace "her" toileteries he's used up.

He might well be the sort of person who'll just think the towels magically got there so use the one there - the OPs.

Unless you don't go with them, people like this are fine if you just don't pack for them as they just use your stuff. And it was fine, look, there's suncream here, no need for me to pack it...

My DH is the total opposite to that and totally over packs.

Last summer for a holiday in Cyprus he packed not just the usual t shirts, shorts and swimming costumes and beach towel, but also formal shirts and trousers, couple of jumpers, 2 pairs of cycling trainers, pair of formal shoes, sandals and a cycling helmet. Plus his underwear. Way, way, way over his baggage limit and lucky not to get pulled up on it at the airport.

That is how he travels. Never wears half of it, complains about the weight and swears that he will cut it right back next time but never does.

I just take several pairs of shorts, several t-shirts, underwear, beach towel, sandals (which I wear) the sun cream and shampoo. Never a problem and I will give them a quick wash if I run low.

The DDs are like me. DH is one on his own and gets teased mercilessly for it.

What's the issue? That he expects you to think of and pack communal stuff in your bag?

Do you buy the communal stuff? I do as I am really picky about things like toiletries.

I also pick out the kids clothes. Because again, I like it. However it all gets dumped in a room and dh packs it all. I hate packing, so it suits us. Ion not even ask or look at how much he has packed for himself. He also does all the booking, checking in, travel documents etc.

If he doesn't give any thought to toiletries. Buy and pack your own. Enough for you. And when you get there tell him it's tough.

If it's that he expects you to carry them, just pass him a load and tell him they need to go in his case then walk off.

I may have misunderstood OP - I thought she meant she was planning to go out to places where shorts would be allowed, but she would feel he was shabbily dressed, rather than places where he literally wouldn't be allowed in.
Dinosaur you obviously do have experience of similar experiences to the OP and I really haven't. Mainly because I just wouldn't go on holiday with someone who couldn't act like a grown up - not twice anyway!!

OP is it possible with the clothing that DH just doesn't see the need to dress smartly and you have differing standards, and these are highlighted on holiday if he isn't packing a wider range of clothes?